Once again, dear reader, we have received data from our top secret InterStall™ bathroom listening device, which one of our operatives stealthily placed between two stalls in the men’s room of the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids, a/k/a the cdesign proponentsists).
The last time we reported on an intercepted communication was almost two months ago: Another Secret Conversation, and a month before that we had our first successful data grab with that device: A Secret Conversation.
Here’s what we received from the latest voice-activated transmission. As before, the voices are fuzzy and there are plumbing sounds in the background, so we can’t be certain who’s talking or whether our transcription is accurate. From the context, we’ve labeled one voice as “Boss” and the other as “Westie” — whoever they may be. We’ve added some links where we think it’s appropriate, but you’ll have to make of this what you will:
Boss: Westie, it’s time for my annual meeting with Mr. Moneybags, and our livelihoods depend on his generosity. I don’t know what to tell him. Everything we’ve done lately has been a flop.
Westie: I know, Boss. The legislative program has gone nowhere since Louisiana, and even that state has been a catastrophe [see Klinghoffer: “You Caught Us. So What?” ].
Boss: Our litigation efforts don’t seem to be getting us anywhere. I’m sorry we ever got involved in that Coppedge mess [see David Coppedge v. JPL & Caltech (09 Oct 2010)].
Westie: Me too. It was Casey’s idea. And that museum case might get embarrassing [see Blood in the Water? and also Premature Climax?].
Boss: So what can I tell Mr. Moneybags? What’s he getting for all the money he gives us? He’s poured millions into our operation!
Westie: Look, we’re desperate. Why not tell him that we’re behind the recent rise of politicians like Christine O’Donnell? It’ll look like we’re accomplishing something.
Boss: Christine O’Donnell? Are you crazy? Have you seen her video? [Christine O'Donnell Clip: "Evolution Is a Myth".] That thing is all over the internet and she looks like an idiot. We can’t take credit for her! Besides, that video is from 1998. We had nothing to do with it. That’s around the same time we were drafting the Wedge Strategy. Our ID operation was only three years old back then [see Center for Science and Culture].
Westie: It doesn’t matter. We were active at the time. She could have picked up our ideas, so we can claim credit. Mr. Moneybags won’t know the difference.
Boss: Yeah, well, maybe, but she probably got her science from Jack Chick, or maybe ICR. I don’t know if I like the idea of taking credit for a ditzo like her.
Westie: What if she did get it from ICR? Most people can’t tell the difference between us and them. Besides, she’s no more embarrassing than Behe. And she just might end up in the Senate.
Boss: Not likely.
Westie: That’s okay. There’s a load of others coming along [see Creationists on the Ballot: November 2010]. Tell Mr. Moneybags that we’re responsible for all of it. We’ll win some and lose some, but we’re producing results. That’s what he wants to see.
Boss: I donno … it might work. Anyway, I’ve got nothing else to brag about, so why not?
Westie: And it’ll make up for the loss of that moron, Mark Souder. We had even given him a part in Expelled! What a clown. He coulda been a contender. [See: Mark Souder, Creationist Fool, Resigns!]
Boss: Don’t remind me!
Westie: And there’s that whole new thing floating around out there about “no separation of church and state.” I don’t know where it came from, but we can take credit for that too.
Boss: Good lord!
Westie: It’s a great mantra, Boss. If it catches on, we won’t even need to bother with intelligent design. We can just take the next logical step to theocratic government. That should make Mr. Moneybags happy.
Boss: Westie, you’re right! We had nothing to do with any of that stuff, but Moneybags doesn’t need to know that. We can ride the wave. Yes! Our little think tank is going to be around for a while longer.
That’s all there is, dear reader. We can’t vouch for any of it, but we think that’s what we heard. InterStall™ strikes again!
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