Tampa Creationist Back in the Headlines

The Florida Ark

We have more news from that enchanted region we’ve been calling The Florida Ark. The what? According to the Curmudgeon’s Glossary:

The Florida Ark is that concave stretch of coast — an arc, get it? — starting at the Alabama border and then sweeping down the shore of the Gulf of Mexico all the way to Tampa, and a bit beyond. This blessed region is home to a great number of creationists.

Last year, Terry Kemple ran unsuccessfully for the District 6 seat on the Hillsborough County School Board. Hillsborough County, as you know, is the power base of Rapturous Ronda Storms.

Our last post about Terry was Tampa Creationist Running for School Board. If you go there you’ll learn that this virtuous man is not only an advocate of creationism, but he also wants to police everyone’s private life. He advocates abstinence, opposes lap dancing and pornography, and he wants God back in the classroom. We imagine he’s also a lot of fun at parties.

As our title says, Terry is back in the news again. In the St. Petersburg Times we read Gay-rights advocates protest antigay activist’s appointment to county board. Your Curmudgeon doesn’t blog about that specific issue, but because it’s another dimension of Terry’s worldview, we’ll give you some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Hundreds of people this week wrote to Hillsborough County commissioners protesting the December appointment of antigay rights advocate Terry Kemple to the county’s Board of Human Relations.

Why does a county need to spend the taxpayers’ money on a board like that? Shouldn’t they just pave the roads, put out fires, police the highways, and keep the sewage system functioning properly? Hey, the board has a website: Human Relations Board. Let’s read on:

Kemple is president of the Community Issues Council, a local group that promotes conservative values. He ran unsuccessfully last year for the county School Board on a platform of abstinence, religion and opposition to Darwin-based biology. He also spearheaded the 2008 effort to pass Amendment 2, which defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman.

Who better to police human relations than a man like Terry? Wouldn’t everyone like to live under his enlightened supervision? We continue:

Kemple was appointed to the Human Rights Board Dec. 15 by a 5-2 vote, with Commissioners Les Miller and Kevin Beckner, who is openly gay, in favor of someone other than Kemple.

It must be fun being a reporter assigned to writing about the antics of that board. Endless amusement! Here’s more:

Commissioner Victor Crist said he wasn’t aware of Kemple’s views or background until now. But had anyone spoken up during Kemple’s appointment consideration, Crist might have questioned Kemple more closely to ensure that he would be open-minded and tolerant.

Still, “At this juncture, let’s wait and see what kind of participant he is. He could very well bring a dimension to the board that helps bridge peace, you know, we don’t know yet,” Crist said. “But I do know one thing — everybody and all perspectives deserve a seat at the table, and to try to muzzle that would be muzzling democracy.”

Sure — if a county is weird enough to have such a board, Terry deserves a seat at the table. So where does this matter stand at the moment? We’re told that at the end of the article:

[Terry Kemple] said he wants to use his position to promote equal rights for all, not special rights for some. And he does not plan to step down. “I have a mission in life,” Kemple said, “and to allow some naysayers to deter me or sway me from my mission would be an inappropriate decision.”

Yes, he’s on a mission. Creationists usually are. We expect to be hearing more about Terry.

Update: Terry Kemple, Tampa Creationist & Cultural Hero.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Discovery Institute Plans Oklahoma Revival

This is exciting, dear reader. At the blog of the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids, a/k/a the cdesign proponentsists), we find this thrilling notice: Darwin v. Design Conference Coming to Oklahoma to Address Debate Over Science and God.

Debate over science and God? How very odd. The Discoveroids always insist that they’re involved in a campaign to promote their — ahem! — scientific theory of intelligent design. But then, we must remember that the last time we wrote about a Discoveroid revival was Discovery Institute Plans Another Revival at Biola. As you know, Biola University is a California bible college founded in 1908 as the Bible Institute Of Los Angeles. The Discoveroids have a lot of their “science” revivals at venues like that.

This Discoveroid announcement is special because it’s written by John West. Most of you know who he is (we affectionately call him “Westie”). It’s in his honor that we have adorned this post with our jolly Buffoon logo, because he’s a winner of the Curmudgeon’s Buffoon Award. Westie is Associate Director of the Discoveroids’ creationist “think tank,” which consumes almost half of the Discovery Institute’s’ $4 million budget (see Their 2007 Tax Return). That makes him one of the chief Keepers of their wedge strategy.

With that introduction, let’s see some excerpts from Westie’s announcement. The bold font was added by us:

During the past decade, an increasing number of so-called “new atheists” have argued that human beings and the rest of nature are the products of chance and necessity rather than intelligent design.

Why does Westie start this announcement by talking about atheists? What does that have to do with the Discoveroids’ “scientific” theory? Just for fun, let’s see how many times he refers to atheists or atheism in this announcement. In addition to what we just quoted, here’s what we found:

These “new atheists” typically base their ideas on Darwinian evolution … . The message of the new atheists has spread far and wide. Just two years ago, thousands of students flocked to a lecture by leading new atheist Richard Dawkins at the University of Oklahoma. Dawkins famously contends that “Darwin made it possible to be an intellectually fulfilled atheist.”. … The good news is that the new atheists are wrong. …

That’s six times. Very scientific. Okay, let’s get into the meat of Westie’s announcement:

Far from establishing a blind and purposeless universe, the findings of science increasingly provide powerful evidence that we live in a purpose-driven universe of incredible beauty and design.

They have evidence — powerful evidence — of a purpose-driven universe? Wow! Let’s read on:

On March 25-26 Oklahomans will have the chance to explore this evidence for themselves as four national experts come to Oklahoma to address the growing intersection between science and faith.

Four “national experts” are coming to Oklahoma! We told you this was exciting. Who are these national experts? That’s disclosed in the final paragraph of Westie’s announcement. The names are in bold in the original:

Dr. Michael Behe, renowned biochemist and author of the books Darwin’s Black Box and The Edge of Evolution, will speak about the incredible design in the nanotechnology of the cell. Dr. Jay Richards, co-author of The Privileged Planet, will talk about how earth itself was intelligently designed for life and for scientific discovery. Dr. John West, author of Darwin Day in America and co-editor of The C.S. Lewis Readers’ Encyclopedia, will document the widespread impact of Darwin’s theory on society and faith. And lawyer Casey Luskin, co-author of Traipsing into Evolution: Intelligent Design and the Kitzmiller v. Dover Decision will outline positive steps you can take to stand for truth for you and your family.

Behe, Richards, Westie himself, and Casey — those are the four national experts. Hey, you don’t want to miss this. You have a month to make your plans, so get busy.

Oh, wait — there’s no link where you can register. Also, it’s difficult to figure out where this great event will be, but if you search very hard you’ll see it in a graphic. It’s at the Crossings Community Church in Oklahoma City. Here’s their website. Now you know all, so mark those days in your calendar!

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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ICR: Two Typically Silly Articles

As a special treat, dear reader, today your Curmudgeon brings you not one but two — two! — articles from the Institute for Creation Research (ICR) — the fountainhead of young-earth creationist wisdom. For each article we’ll give you some excerpts, with bold font added by us.

The first is Woodpecker Inspires Designers, Knocks Evolution. You know what they’re going to say, don’t you? Yes, you guessed it — the woodpecker is proof of creationism. Here’s a brief sampling, after which you can click over there to read it all:

When boring into wood in search of food, a woodpecker exerts so much force with each strike that its beak should crumble, its skull should crack, and its brain should be reduced to mush. However, a suite of design features absorbs the shock and ensures that these tragedies do not happen. How are these features able to provide such effective protection?

Sounds like a staggering problem, doesn’t it? Sure it does, and of course, science is boggled by the bewildering complexity of it all. They quote an article that says woodpeckers have a set of four essential features:

These are its hard-but-elastic beak; a sinewy, springy tongue-supporting structure that extends behind the skull called the hyoid; an area of spongy bone in its skull; and the way the skull and cerebrospinal fluid interact to suppress vibration

We’ll skip most of what ICR says. Their conclusion is very predictable:

There is no natural way for a whole suite of required, specified features to just “get together”all at one time. … Thus, the woodpecker is a testament to the superior engineering skill of its Creator.

Great, huh? Now here’s the second ICR article we promised you: Study Shows Humans Are Uniquely Designed for Music. You must admit, the variety of ICR’s offerings is amazing. One day it’s woodpeckers, then it’s music. They say:

Unlike other creatures, humans can compose, record, and enjoy music. A new study has identified a brain chemical that provides pleasure when people listen to certain music. Where did this amazing ability come from?

Can you guess ICR’s answer to this all-important question? If you strain, dear reader, you might be able to anticipate what they say. It would be cruel to keep you in suspense. Let’s jump right to ICR’s answer:

Earlier research into babies’ physical response to music prompted the comment, “It remains a mystery how humans evolved our musical wiring, [though] it’s now clear that we enjoy it and always did.” [footnote to something about dancing babies]. But it is only a mystery for evolution to explain. These discoveries confirm that people are the product of special creation, with musical enjoyment as a unique built-in function.

So many scientific mysteries, yet the creation scientists at ICR are unfailingly able to solve them with their scriptural insights. Verily, what would we do without them?

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Sally Kern: Theocrat in Oklahoma’s Legislature?

Now that Sally Kern’s creationism bill has gone down in flames in the Oklahoma legislature, you might think that your Curmudgeon would be ready to move on to other matters. Yes, we are, but not before we visit the matter one last time.

In case you don’t know what we’re talking about, see Sally Kern’s Oklahoma Creationism Bill — It’s Dead. But now you’re wondering: What else is there to say about Sally, at least for this session of the legislature?

Good question. We came across an article titled Debate set at OCCC over establishment of Christian nation, which appears in the Oklahoman, located in Oklahoma City, the state capitol. That brief little article offers us some additional insights. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

A debate about whether the United States was established as a Christian nation is set for 7 to 8:30 p.m. today at Oklahoma City Community College, 7777 S May Ave.

Why do we care about this silly debate? We’re already expressed ourselves on that issue (see Is America a “Christian Nation”?), and there’s not much else we can say. Quickie summary: Americans are mostly a Christian people, but the government isn’t a Christian institution. The government is, of course, compatible with a Christian population — but so is your city’s road system. That’s your Curmudgeon’s humble opinion. Now let’s read on in the Oklahoman:

The Rev. Bruce Prescott, executive director of Mainstream Oklahoma Baptists and president of the Norman chapter of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, will debate the Rev. Steve Kern, pastor of Olivet Baptist Church and husband of state Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City.

Prescott will argue that the U.S. Constitution neither established nor advocates for a Christian nation. Kern will argue that it does.

Aha! There it is, dear reader. Sally Kern, creationist representative in the Oklahoma legislature, is married to a preacher who claims that the US is a “Christian nation.” That certainly suggests that he’s a theocrat who longs for the good old days — before the Revolution — when there was no separation of church and state.

Well, so what? Just because Sally’s husband is a theocrat, does that tell us anything about Sally’s views? Yes, we think it does. In our Curmudgeonly benevolence, we assume that the Kerns enjoy an ideal marriage — the kind described in the Good Book. In Ephesians 5:22 to 24, King James Version, it says:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. … Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

If Sally is a dutiful wife — and she undoubtedly is — then her husband’s views are also hers. We can further assume that her activities in the legislature represent her husband’s wishes. Therefore, if Reverend Steve Kern is a theocrat, so is Sally.

As we’ve said before, your basic, wandering around goofball who believes in crop circles or magic crystals is of no concern to us. It’s the same with your typical creationist who is obsessed with Noah’s Ark. What such people choose to believe is their own private business.

But it’s very different with legislators. What they believe can affect us all — and if they’re not only creationists, which is potentially disastrous for education, but they’re also theocrats — then we must be concerned. Theocrats intend to turn this country into what it was in the days of the Salem witch trials — when the power of government was used to enforce religious beliefs.

This will probably be our last post about Oklahoma’s Sally Kern, at least for a while. We expect, however, that we’ll be hearing more of her in times to come. If so, it’s good that we have a clear understanding of what we’re dealing with.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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