Monthly Archives: March 2011

ICR: The Flood Added 5 Days to the Year

The creation scientists at the Institute for Creation Research (ICR) are all worked up these days. We recently posted ICR: Japan’s Earthquake Proves Noah’s Flood. Now they’ve gone beyond that.

In Japan’s Earthquake Altered the Length of a Day they manage to jam together into one little article not only Japan’s earthquake and Noah’s Flood, but also the length of a day, the radius of the earth, and the existence of tectonic plates. We can’t really summarize or critique this one in a brief post, so we’ll give you some excerpts, with bold font added by us, and then you can click over there to figure it out for yourself. They begin by saying:

Japan’s disastrous March 11 earthquake has had a lasting geologic impact on the earth. Italy’s National Institute of Geophysics and Volcanology preliminarily found that it moved the planet’s rotation axis by 25 centimeters.

ICR’s source for that is something they read in the Huffington Post. But after that dramatic opening, their next paragraph says:

The earth movements caused a slight contraction in the overall circumference of the planet, which has shortened the length of each day by about a millionth of a second.

Okay. A huge earthquake caused a minute shortening of the length of a day. Remember that as we read on:

Historian and author Bill Cooper showed how the length of each day was such that exactly 360 days comprised a year — the earth’s single revolution around the sun in the pre-Flood world. He used information from portions of Genesis chapters 7 and 8 to calculate a year consisting of 12 months of 30 days each.

It’s not important who that guy is, or how he arrived at his conclusion. We know that in our own time a year is a bit more than 5 days longer than that. Assuming the earth’s orbit hasn’t changed, that means our days must have shortened rather considerably in order to fit 365 of them into a year that was only 360 days long just a few thousand years ago. That would require a lot of massive earthquakes! ICR is aware of the problem, as can be seen here:

The effects of Japan’s earthquake were relatively miniscule [sic], subtracting only a tiny fraction of a second’s worth of day/night rotations during a single year. So, altering the earth’s day/year synchronization by five days would take an almost unimaginably powerful earth-altering event. And yet, there is geological evidence that just such a fantastic catastrophe occurred.

ICR’s “evidence” is the biblical Flood, plus the existence of tectonic plates. We shall ignore the dubious persuasiveness of their scriptural evidence, and their peculiar assumption that tectonic plates are the the result of earthquakes rather than the cause, and press on with their article.

Next they have a couple of paragraphs that say this, with reassuring footnotes to an ICR article and a creationism conference:

Research geophysicist John Baumgartner wrote in 2004, “Many lines of evidence show that today’s igneous ocean floor — all of it — has formed via seafloor spreading since roughly mid-way through the Flood.” The earth’s crust looks as though it has recently suffered a complete overhaul.

In this scenario, the equatorial radius of the pre-Flood earth would have been 30 miles longer than today’s radius, assuming earth’s mass distribution is the same now as it was then. This represents about a 3.5 percent decrease in earth’s equatorial circumference, perhaps caused by runaway subduction associated with the Flood, causing earth to spin on its axis more than five days faster.

Never mind the earth’s radius. Let’s just pause for a moment to see where we are in all of this. According to ICR, a year (presumably unchanged) used to be 360 days because the earth used to spin slower — thus a day was longer. Okay, we’ve done some math. 360 divided by 365.25 = .985626, which means (we think) that a day today is roughly 1.5% shorter than ICR claims it was in Noah’s time. That’s no big deal, or is it?

How many seconds are there in 1.5% of a day? A day is 86,400 seconds. One point five percent of that is 1,296 seconds. That’s how much ICR claims a day has shortened since Noah’s Flood about 4,000 years ago. By contrast (or confirmation, according to ICR) the Japan earthquake shortened the day by only one millionth of one second. Okay, it’s all very clear now. Here’s how the article ends:

The testimony of Scripture is that at the start of the year-long global Flood “the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up.” [Footnote to Genesis.] This indicates that subterranean material was violently thrust to the earth’s surface, having torn through the crust, leading to a profound redistribution of the planet’s mass. Historical evidence from Scripture and geological evidence from the earth indicate that it was indeed possible for the rigors of the Flood to have significantly altered the number of days in a year.

So there you are, dear reader. As you can see from the fact that Japan’s earthquake shortened the day by a millionth of a second, the biblical account of the Flood is true.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Murphology — Darwin and Jesus Compared

W. Edward Murphy

This is your lucky day, dear reader. Once more we’re visiting the Alvin Sun-Advertiser of Alvin, Texas to discuss another thought-provoking article by that legendary Texas intellect, W. Edward Murphy.

Our last post about Murph was Creationist Wisdom #177: Murphology. It was so spectacular, in the subsequent comments we announced that although Curmudgeon University has heretofore offered only doctorates, that venerable institution is now seriously considering the addition of a simple bachelor’s degree to its mail-order product line. It would be called Bachelor of Murphology — or “BM.”

Murph’s latest is titled Darwin v Christ; Science V Religion? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

A couple years ago on Fox News Channel, there was discussion about Intelligent Design. Charles Krauthammer wound up the comments by saying that Darwinism is science; he dismissed Intelligent Design as “just religion”.

Oh goodie! Murph is going to contradict Krauthammer. Let’s read on:

Darwin is considered to have the scientific explanation of the origin of man; while Christ is to be confined within the boundaries of “religion”. However, Christ developed Intelligent Design – He is the Intelligent Designer, the Creator (you can verify this in the Gospel of John, 1st Chapter, Verse 3, and in the first chapter of the Paul’s letter to the Colossians).

At last we know — Jesus is the Intelligent Designer! Murph’s letter continues:

Oh, by the way, in all of Darwin’s writings, there is nothing as definitive as the statements by John and Paul.

Jeepers — Murph is correct about that. Here’s more:

Last week there was a front-page article in the Houston Chronicle that claimed that the first Americans were also the first Texans, and that they lived 13,100 years ago.

Murph is probably talking about this story, which was all over the news recently. Let’s see what he says about it:

I’ll believe that when the scientists give me the names of their descendants. Ridiculous you say? Well, the Bible says man was created (not evolved) about 6,000 years ago, and gives the descendants, and their families, starting with the first man, Adam, up to the family of King Saul, the first king of Israel.

They can’t fool ol’ Murph! Moving along:

Let’s compare the origin of man from Darwin’s perspective to what God said happened.

This should be good. Here’s Murph’s comparison:

Darwin: All life came from a simple cell. However, no explanation is offered as to the origin of the environment in which the first simple cell “happened”. For example, how did the “primordial ooze” happen to be there? What was the energy source that birthed the cell? Where did the energy come from? The discovery of DNA, the unimaginably complex composition of each cell, obliterates Darwin’s basic concept of a simple cell.

Christ: There is an invisible world that is more real than the physical world we see. (Read about it in the Book of Hebrews, 11th Chapter, Verse 3.) Everything that we see, everything we are, started with a Divine idea, culminating in orderly acts of creation, and finally, man (Genesis 1:1-27).

Wow — what a powerful comparison. Darwin was an idiot!

There’s more in Murph’s column — much more, but we can’t copy it all. Click over to the Alvin Sun-Advertiser and learn what your teachers never told you.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Tennessee Creationism Bill: 30 Mar ’11 Update

Our last post on this topic was our 16 March 2011 Update. The next few indented paragraphs provide background information, which most of you can skip:

This is about HOUSE BILL 368 (2-page pdf file), sponsored in the Tennessee legislature by Bill Dunn, a tree surgeon. You can use this link to follow the progress and status of HB 368. It’s a typical anti-science, anti-evolution, pro-creationism bill authorizing teachers to present the “strengths and [alleged] weakness” of certain “controversial” subjects, with the obvious purpose of permitting creationism to be taught in science classes.

We perceive a well-organized public relations effort to promote Dunn’s bill, the kind that succeeded in Louisiana back in 2008. The Tennessee operation (probably code-named “Lights Out”) seems to be headed by David Fowler, a lawyer and former Tennessee state Senator, who also taught for a few years at Bryan College in Dayton Tennessee — site of the Scopes Trial. Fowler is president of an organization called Family Action Council of Tennessee (FACT), which is affiliated with Focus on the Family — that’s James Dobson‘s outfit.

It was disclosed by Lauri Lebo that this particular bill was drafted by the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids, a/k/a the cdesign proponentsists). The Discoveroids then gave the bill to Fowler, the activist, who gave it to Dunn, the bill’s legislative sponsor. The theocratic anti-science axis is thus fully revealed.

We’ve predicted that Tennessee’s Creationism Bill Will Become Law. The Tennessee legislature convened on 11 January and is scheduled to adjourn in mid-May. There’s plenty of time for this bill to get passed if the legislature is so inclined.

That’s the background. Now for today’s news. The National Center for Science Education (NCSE), which is often the first to report these things, has an article titled Antievolution bills in Tennessee advance. NCSE says:

Tennessee’s House Bill 368 was passed by the House Education Committee on March 29, 2011, and referred to the House Calendar and Rules Committee, while its counterpart, Senate Bill 893, is scheduled to be discussed by the Senate Education Committee on March 30, 2011.

Things are happening in both legislative chambers! Here’s a link to Senate Bill 893 (2-page pdf file). We discussed that one earlier (see Tennessee Creationism Bill Makes “Progress”). It’s word-for-word identical to Dunn’s bill in the House, which means this is a coordinated effort. You can use this link for tracking the progress and status of SB 893 as it works its way through the legislative process. The sponsor of the Senate bill is Senator Bo Watson, a physical therapist.

We found a good editorial which opposes this legislation. Alas, it’s in a Newspaper with No Name. The thing is nevertheless worth reading. Here’s the concluding sentence: “HB 368 is an embarrassment to all of Tennessee, and it should be sent to extinction.”

Also, at the website of Nashville Public Radio we read Bill to Debate Evolution Theory Ready for House Floor. Here are some excerpts:

David Fowler, president of the Family Action Council of Tennessee, says his organization backs the bill. Fowler says organizations like the Professional Educators of Tennessee are concerned that teachers will be discipline if they question scientific theories.

Yes, creationists teachers ought to be concerned about that. Let’s read on:

Fowler expresses a point of view from evolution skeptics, who say that evolution may occur within species. But they find little evidence that evolution – “macroevolution,” based on genetic mutation and the “survival of the fittest” – can create a new species.

Fowler is apparently one of the greatest scientific minds in Tennessee. One last excerpt:

The measure goes before the full Tennessee House, once it gets through the Committee on Calendar and Rules. In the Senate, the same bill is on the agenda for the Education Committee Wednesday.

So there you are, dear reader. Things are moving right along in Tennessee. We still think this mess will become law, as has already happened in Louisiana. And we don’t think it will make any difference — the people are already creationists and they have always been. They’re happy. If the legislature truly represents the will of the people, then they should give the people what they want — in this case a very stupid law. Hey, it’s Tennessee!

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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The Creationist Troll’s Toolkit

Attention, creationists! Are you suffering from inadequacy online? Are you feeling inferior because you have no education? Are you so stupid that no one will respond to you? When they do respond, is it only point out your errors in spelling and grammar? Would you like to become a genuine force on the internet?

Then be a troll! Yes, now you too can be a real internet troll! Your Curmudgeon will show you how.

Trolls always have a good time, and their comments get lots of responses. As a troll, you’re sure to be the center of attention. Other creationists will praise you. Never again will your comments be ignored. And as a troll, you’ll enjoy the power you have to ruin any Darwinist blog or forum thread just by showing up and trolling. If the Darwinists ban you, that’s good. It proves that they fear you. Oh, the fun!

Creationist trolling is easy. It’s simple. And the beauty of it is … you don’t have to know anything! The Curmudgeon’s Toolkit™ is a complete catalog of a professional creationist’s intellectual inventory. To make it even more useful, you can choose the arguments to match your favorite flavor of creationism. Do you admire the Discoveroids? Then use the arguments from their column. Answers in Genesis? We have a column for them too. If you want to troll in pure nasty mode — to show those Darwinists what you really think of them — we’ve got you covered. Likewise for everyday, letter-to-the-editor style creationism. It’s all here!

Just print out this toolkit and then copy the arguments that suit your feelings. Or use one or two items at random every time you post. Don’t worry if someone refutes you. Just repeat your earlier comment — they’re always good. Then keep on trolling! You’ll drive the Darwinists crazy! Guaranteed!

The Curmudgeon’s Creationist Troll’s Toolkit™
Discoveroids Answers in Genesis Nasty Troll Typical Idiot
Hitler, Stalin, Mao, etc The bible is literally true Darwinism is your religion [Quote any creationist]
Teach the controversy Genesis says six days Christian-bashing! What’s the origin of life?
Irreducible complexity All mutations are harmful Government grants What are you afraid of?
Pro-Darwin lobby The Flood did that You’re a homosexual You have no evidence
Critical thinking Choose God’s word or man’s God-hater! That’s a “just so” story!
Strengths & weaknesses Isaac Newton was creationist Take your meds Piltdown Man
Academic freedom Sin caused that Arrogant jerk Opinion polls say …
The cell is complicated Darwinism is immorality Burn in hell It’s only a theory!
Darwin was a racist Were you there? Fairy tale for adults No macro-evolution
Cambrian explosion [Quote scripture] I pity you Granddaddy was no ape
Stop the censorship! What made the Big Bang? You’re a Marxist Tornado in a junkyard
Complexity proves design Science proves creationism It’s all about sexual freedom Why are there still monkeys?

Addendum: Here are a few more that we couldn’t conveniently fit into the table: Use a mined (i.e., out of context) quote, claim that the odds are against evolution, that carbon-dating is worthless, that thousands of brilliant scientists have secret creationist leanings but are afraid to speak out for fear of being Expelled, and that evolution violates the Second Law of Thermopylae.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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