Leprosy, Armadillos, and Creationism

The big news today is reported by Medical Xpress in Indigenous cases of leprosy found in the United States. They inform us that:

There are only around 150 cases of leprosy in the United States each year. Most of these victims have worked abroad in areas in which leprosy is endemic, making it likely that they may have acquired the disease while outside the US. But, to the alarm of health authorities, a third of all patients infected appear to have contracted the disease locally.

Egad! How can one contract leprosy in the US? Here’s how:

The hypothesis that the disease is transmitted though contact with armadillos — aside from humans, the only other known carriers of the leprosy-causing bacteria — was confirmed by fine-grained DNA analysis of both armadillo and human samples done at EPFL [École polytechnique fédérale de Lausanne, located in Lausanne, Switzerland.].

Armadillos? But they’re so cute! Let’s read on:

It became clear that leprosy patients who never travelled outside the US but lived in areas where infected armadillos are prevalent were infected with the same strain as the armadillos. These findings prompted the researchers to state in the article that “Frequent direct contact with armadillos and cooking and consumption of armadillo meat should be discouraged.” The study also suggests that armadillo range expansion should be monitored.

Are you paying attention? You must immediately cease all contact with armadillos. What’s worse, you have to stop eating them. For some of you, this means a massive change in your daily diet. But for the rest of us the vital question is: Where do armadillos live? For that we have to find another source.

We visited Discovery.com (no known connection to the Discoveroids) which has this article: Armadillo Culprit for Leprosy Cases. There we learn more about the recent study of leprosy bacteria:

[The study involved] 33 armadillos from southern states as well as 50 skin biopsies from humans living with leprosy. Scientists discovered the strain of the bacterium was nearly identical in human and animal samples.

Okay, they’re located in southern states. We continue:

In total, 39 subjects living with leprosy reported residence within the same geographic area as armadillos and nearly three-fourths of the same group reported not leaving the country, ruling out foreign exposure to the bacteria. In addition, nine subjects recall having direct contact with armadillos.

The plot thickens. To find the information we want we needed to consult a map included with the article, which shows “Sites where infected armadillos were sampled in this study.” What does the map show? You guessed it — most of the dots are in Louisiana! Other dots are in neighboring states, including Texas. Florida is also shown as part of the armadillo’s range. You know what this means, don’t you?

Yes, that’s right — those are the same states where we’ve been encountering continuous creationist activity! Coincidence? We think not.

Now we can give you the Curmudgeon’s Conjecture of a Correlation between Creationism and Consumption of Armadillos (CCCCCA). Armadillos not only carry leprosy, but they also carry creationism.

You read that correctly. We think the creationist activists in Florida, Louisiana, Texas, and nearby states are all likely to be armadillo eaters. Not only are they afflicted with creationism — which is bad enough — but they should immediately seek professional help to learn if they also suffer from leprosy. We wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve all got it.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Ben Stein Expelled by Citigroup

Our old friend, dashing screen star Ben Stein, famous for his role in Expelled! — the embarrassingly shabby creationist documentary (see Expelled Exposed), has suffered a recent setback.

At the Bloomberg website we read: Citigroup Axes Ben Stein Speech as Texas Woman Objects to Jokes. It’s a long article. Here are a few excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Citigroup Inc. (C) canceled a planned keynote speech by writer, actor and TV personality Ben Stein after getting a complaint that he told jokes disparaging women at a private-equity conference in Dallas earlier this year.

Jokes disparaging women? Egad! Let’s read on:

“We have decided to present the conference without Mr. Stein’s participation,” said Danielle Romero-Apsilos, a spokeswoman for the New York-based bank. Stein, in an interview, said his jokes were mischaracterized and that the company didn’t call him before canceling.

Citigroup, accused in a gender-discrimination suit last year of being an “outdated boys club,” canceled the speech yesterday to avoid being associated with any inappropriate remarks, a person with knowledge of the matter said.

Hey, get this:

Stein’s agent, Marcia Hurwitz, said Citigroup had initially contracted with Stein through a speakers bureau and that his typical corporate fee is $45,000, plus first-class travel for two. He delivers “deadpan humor and serious insights on the economy and human nature in talks that leave people laughing and thinking,” according to the Washington Speakers Bureau website.

That guy gets $45K for a speech? Amazing world. We continue:

[The woman who complained] told of three jokes at the Dallas conference she said were disparaging to women. One joke was about a wealthy man, his wife and his mistress, she said.

Another involved a female airline passenger who, realizing the flight is about to crash, takes off her clothes and asks if there is a man aboard who will “make me feel like a woman,” according to Villarreal’s e-mail, which was also sent to Bloomberg News. A cowboy in a hat removes his shirt, hands it to the woman, tells her to iron it and fetch him a beer.

That’s a real knee-slapper! Here’s something with which you’re all familiar:

Earlier in 2009, Stein withdrew as the University of Vermont’s commencement speaker over complaints about his critical views of evolution in favor of intelligent design, according to the AP. He discussed those views as host of the 2008 documentary “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed.”

There’s more to the article, but we’ll wrap it up with this:

“I didn’t think I had an enemy in the world, except for the people who didn’t like my movie about evolution,” Stein said. “I am super, super, super encouraging to women. I support an awful lot of women who are trying to make their way in the world.”

Poor Ben. First the Darwinists turned on him. Now it’s the ladies. A creationist just can’t get a break these days.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Curmudgeonly Desperation: It’s Joke Time!

We should be pleased when there’s no news of The Controversy between evolution and creationism. What such lulls mean is that — at least for now — the creationism bills are dying in state legislatures, the few pathetic court cases (Coppedge and that California Science Museum thing) are quiescent, and the Discoveroids are in between major initiatives.

There’s never any news from ICR. They pioneered the “modern” creation science movement, and therefore we check in with them for old times’ sake; but all their posts are trivial variations on the same formula: “Lookie here, more proof of Ooogity Booogity!” Over at AIG, Ken Ham is little more than a predictable crank, but he’s successful promoter and he advertises on Fox, so we keep an eye on him. For now he’s making noise, not news.

So we wait, and while we do so we are compelled to offer you the blogging equivalent of junk food, and this post is a good example. But look on the bright side — this is your opportunity to demonstrate your skill at a rare form of humor — creationism jokes. Your Curmudgeon will go first, with this woeful offering:

An evolutionary biologist, a creationist, and a great white shark walk into a bar. The bartender says: “Sorry, gents, but it’s closing time.”

The biologist looks at his watch, nods, and turns to leave. The creationist begins to rant about viewpoint discrimination and academic freedom. But just when he’s getting warmed up, the great white bites off his head and half of his torso. Then the shark turns to join the biologist at the exit.

The biologist says: “What did I tell you?”

The shark replies: “You were right. That wasn’t very nourishing, but it sure was easy!”

Yeah, yeah, we know. That was horrible. Okay, dear reader, let’s see if you can do better. You know the rules — keep the language up to our Curmudgeonly standards. Otherwise, go for it.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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From AIG: The Noah’s Ark Collector Kit

The way we see it, if you’re going to be a creationist, you should go all the way. In a world corrupted by Darwinism, you must completely surround yourself with reminders of creationism, so that evil thoughts have no opportunity to influence the purity of your beliefs. Yes, you’re thinking, that’s good advice, but how can one do this?

They make it easy for you at Answers in Genesis (AIG), one of the major sources of young-earth creationist wisdom. AIG is the online ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the creationist Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. He also brought you the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.

The folks at AIG have a gift shop loaded with creationist books, DVDs and trinkets. The last time we told you about one of their wonders, it was the Ten-Foot Wide Creationist Wall Chart. Today, dear reader, we’re informing you about some of their Noah’s Ark goodies.

First, there’s the Noah’s Ark Poster. It’s 12 x 16 inches, and it’s “Just like the popular display in the Creation Museum!” It costs only three bucks, so you can easily afford to get one for every room of your house. Don’t forget to get them for all the bathrooms, because these posters are ideal to gaze upon during those quiet moments of contemplation.

Next on our list of must-have items is the Flood Card Set. It’s 10 sets of 5 cards each. Only five bucks — a real bargain! You should keep them where they’ll be immediately at hand for reference and inspiration, probably on your desk. AIG says:

A series of five captivating, colorful, and informative collector cards giving evidence for the global flood of the Bible and its results. A unique witnessing tool! (50-card set—10 of each design.)

But that’s not all. How about the Noah’s Ark Paper Model. This comes in two sizes, but you’ll want the large one; it’s 32 x 5 x 6 inches. It’ll look great over the fireplace. AIG says:

Based on the new conceptual design of Noah’s Ark by researcher Tim Lovett, this scale model is a great way to bring the Ark to life from the pages of Scripture!

Then, for your kitchen, there’s the Noah’s Ark Magnet. These cost only two bucks, so you can not only have one — or two! — on your refrigerator, but you can give them as gifts to everyone you know. AIG says:

Bring reminders of the inerrancy of the Bible to your kitchen by displaying this beautiful visual account of the Ark. A great conversation starter!

And finally, no collection would be complete without a Noah’s Ark Keychain. This essential item costs only two bucks. We’re told that this is:

A great memento or gift from the Creation Museum. Printed in white text on corner of keychain: “CREATION MUSEUM, Prepare to believe”

So there you are, dear reader. Why do you hesitate? Get them all! Get them now! But it’s probably best if you don’t tell ‘em the Curmudgeon sent you.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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