Monthly Archives: May 2011

Discovery Institute: Secret Conversation #4

Once again, dear reader, we have received data from our top secret InterStall™ bathroom listening device which one of our operatives placed between two stalls in the men’s room of the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids, a/k/a the cdesign proponentsists).

The earlier intercepted communications about which we posted were: A Secret Conversation (#1), and then Another Secret Conversation (# 2), and most recently Another Intercepted Discoveroid Conversation (#3).

Here’s what we received from the latest voice-activated transmission. As before, the voices are fuzzy and there are plumbing sounds in the background, so we can’t be certain who’s talking or whether our transcription is accurate. From the context, we’ve labeled one voice as “Boss” and the other as “Westie” — whoever they may be. We’ve added some links where we think it’s appropriate, but you’ll have to make of this what you will:

Boss: Westie, our most generous patron has called twice today, and I can’t keep ducking him. He’s going to want some explanations.

Westie: I know, Boss. This is very embarrassing. Our Academic Freedom bills have all died this year. It was a clean sweep. We failed in Florida, Kentucky, Missouri, New Mexico, Tennessee, Oklahoma, and now Texas. It’s been a bad year.

Boss: I really thought we had a winner in Tennessee, but …

Westie: Yeah, the Darwinists got us at the last minute. I donno what to say, Boss.

Boss: Can’t you give me anything I can report as a success? Our patron has given us millions, and he expects us to produce results.

Westie: Tell him about Louisiana. We just has a victory there. [See Creationism Repeal Fails in Committee.]

Boss: Louisiana? Some high school kid almost cost us everything we’ve accomplished there. We had to pull every string we’ve got to keep the lid on. You think that was a victory?

Westie: At least it shows we can hold onto our gains.

Boss: What else can I tell our patron? You gotta give me something!

Westie: Well, there’s our litigation strategy. We’ve still got the Coppedge case –

Boss: Come on, Westie. We’re gonna get our heads handed to us in that one. From what I’ve seen, it’s amazing that guy didn’t get fired years ago. [See Coppedge v. JPL & Caltech.]

Westie: Yeah, but anything can happen at trial, and that’s not until October. After that we can appeal …

Boss: Great, so we’ve got a few months until the roof falls in on us. What else have you got? And please — don’t waste my time telling me about Casey’s crusade against junk DNA. [See There’s No Junk DNA.]

Westie: Casey means well. Hey — there’s that case against the California Science Center. [See AFA v. CSC.]

Boss: Oh yeah — another loser. When’s that mess going to trial?

Westie: Late July. But the appeal should keep us alive for another year or two. Remember what I told you before. Our plan is to use the Bill of Rights to implement the wedge strategy. We never got anywhere with that Teach the Controversy slogan, and we’re getting nowhere with our legislative program for Academic Freedom [see Academic Freedom bills]; but this is different. We’re fighting for our civil rights!

Boss: Our patron has heard all that before. Got anything else?

Westie: Remind him of all the creationists looking for the Republican nomination — Bachmann, Pawlenty, Santorum, Perry — a whole bunch of them. Tell him we’re feeding them information. We’re doing vital work behind the scenes. We’re on the verge of a breakthrough — you know what to say.

Boss: I’ve been through this with him before. We’re always on the verge of a breakthrough. Okay, I’ll do what I can. But don’t forget — if he cuts us off, we’ll be lucky to find jobs teaching at bible colleges.

That’s all there is, dear reader. We can’t vouch for any of it, but we think that’s what we heard. InterStall™ strikes again!

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Creationist Wisdom #188: Louisiana Science

Today, dear reader, we bring you a letter-to-the-editor titled Is creationism really the issue?, which appears in the Daily Comet (flashy name, huh?) of Thibodaux, Louisiana — on the banks of Bayou Lafourche in the northwestern part of Lafourche Parish. According to Wikipedia, Thibodaux is nicknamed “Queen City of Lafourche.”

We’ll give you a few excerpts from today’s letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and as we usually do we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. Here we go, with a bit of bold font added for emphasis:

[We’d like to give you some excerpts from the letter, but that paper is being acquired by Stephens Media, and they’re suing bloggers who excerpt their content without permission. So you’ll have to click over there to read it for yourself.]

He’s talking about this: Louisiana Creationism Repeal Fails in Committee. We absolutely love Louisiana — it’s blogger heaven! Let’s read on:

[Deleted.]

Lordy, lordy. This is another attempt to invoke the Galileo affair in the cause of promoting creationism. Our cup runneth over! It was because of their insane “Galileo maneuver” that we announced Buffoon Award Winner — WorldNetDaily. We won’t repeat here what we said then, but it’s well worth re-reading. We continue with today’s letter:

[Deleted.]

Skell didn’t win the Nobel Prize. We previously wrote about his embarrassing late-life behavior (see Casey Mourns Loss of Philip Skell). Here’s more from the letter:

[Deleted.]

Yes, the LSEA is all about science. That’s why it’s modeled after the the Academic Freedom Act promoted by the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids).

We can’t think of anything else to say.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Another Self-Published Genius Disproves Darwin

We’ve seen several of these. The last was Press Release: Vanity Published Creationist Genius. The ones before that were Press Release from Another Self-Published Genius, and before that Amazing Genius Answers All Questions, and still earlier: Self-published Genius Challenges Darwin’s Theory.

At first we thought that was all of them, but then we searched our archives. Earlier still we posted The Top Rated Intelligent Design Website, another press release promotion. That wasn’t about a vanity-published book, but for our purposes it’s close enough. We continued our search to see of there were others. Indeed there are. We posted The Worst Creationism Book Ever? which we learned about from a press release. Sure enough, it was self-published. Even earlier we posted Creationism and Crop Circles: Together At Last! — same deal, vanity publisher (Outskirts Press), press release promotion.

Before all of those we wrote Herman Cummings: Unappreciated Genius? His book, Moses Didn’t Write About Creation! (by “Ephraim,” Herman’s pen-name), was printed by PublishAmerica, and it was marketed by press release before we started our humble blog. Therefore, Herman fits the category of self-published geniuses who promote their discoveries by press release.

We’re thinking of starting a numbered series of these things, which would make today’s post number nine — assuming we’ve located all our earlier specimens. The press release we found this morning comes from Australia and it’s titled Trans-dimensional Evolution. There’s also a sub-title:

“Trans-Dimensional Evolution” Introduces Scientific Disproof Of Darwin’s Theory Of Evolution

We understand how eager you are to learn about this stunning new book, but first we need to explain how this news came to our attention. As with other paradigm-shattering discoveries, the proud author has announced his work by hiring a press release service. This one is issued by an outfit called seekingmedia, which describes itself as:

an online press release system that allows you to promote your business, products, services and news directly to newspapers, magazines, radio, television, newswires and search engines at the click of a button, quickly and easily, from anywhere at any time.

Their Pricing page tells us that: “Using seekingmedia.com.au, you can send a media release from as little as $60 …” That seems like a fine way to proceed — especially for this subject. Without further delay, let us see what wonders the press release discloses. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Author Norman Christopher Vallejo today announced the release of “Trans-dimensional Evolution” (ISBN #9781742840208), a formal scientific disproof of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution written in a fashion that is easy to digest and sure to provoke debate.

We can’t find the book at Amazon. Were it not for Norman’s press release we might never have learned of his book. Let’s read on:

Using Mathematical Linear Continuity with supporting evidence from Quantum Physics, the book shows the impossibility of Darwin’s theory in a practical manner.

While the basic concept to the theory can be illustrated in just one diagram, Trans-dimensional Evolution comes packed with over 90 easy to read diagrams and over 80 references to physics and science texts and journals.

We are trembling all over. We feel a thrill up our leg. This is what we’ve been looking for all our life! The press release continues:

In a passage, the author writes: “Given the physical world has to have finite components however, finite component means identifiable division and definable division dictates instantaneous actualisation of some description on a boundary i.e. in zero time or space. Fundamentally then, change can only reside higher dimensionally. At some point there eventually has to be a cut-off from “what was” to “what is” and the idea of infinite subdivision is flawed reasoning when used to describe this as a continuous process. It should be obvious by now then that physical continuity cannot realise finite reality, only physical discontinuity can.

Aaaargh!! The mind boggles! There can be no doubt that this book will change everything. Oh, wait — before we finish, we notice that the press release gives us some information about Norman:

Norman Christopher Vallejo was born in Australia in 1969. He is a qualified Computer Programmer … and is a master Painter and Decorator.

Our joy is boundless! We’ve previously encountered several creationist engineers, dentists, and programmers, but never before have we run into a creationist decorator. No wonder we felt that thrill up our leg.

At the bottom of the press release there’s a link to the website of BookPal Australia — that’s Norman’s vanity publisher. Hey, at least they’re not pretending to be anything other than what they are.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Ken Ham’s “Spiritual War” Against Science

Earlier this month we wrote Black Holes from Before the Big Bang, about a paper that described the possibility of detecting black holes that may have persisted from an earlier version of the universe, before the Big Bang.

It didn’t occur to us that such a subject would offend Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the creationist Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. He runs the online creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG), and he also created the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.

But ol’ Hambo is offended. He’s infuriated! At the AIG website there’s an article by Hambo titled They Call It “Science”. It’s remarkably revealing about how the man thinks. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

It is interesting to note that secularists can speculate with all sorts of (even way out) ideas concerning the origin of the universe, and it is written up as serious scientific research — without receiving ridicule. For instance, read the following: …

Hambo quotes from Out with a bang — new theory threatens to rewrite origins of universe. That’s an article at Canada.com, a website that serves several Canadian newspapers, including the Vancouver Sun, the Calgary Herald, and many others. If you read our earlier post you already know the theory that got the ol’ creationist all worked up. Let’s read on from Hambo’s rant:

Although other scientists disagree with them, nonetheless, they are not mocked. However, as soon as a Christian mentions “In the beginning God created the Heavens and the earth,” they are usually greatly ridiculed by such writers and these researchers.

If Genesis is proffered as a cosmological theory, yes, ridicule would be in order. But in church, no, because that’s the proper place for Genesis. Hambo seems unaware of this. To him, it’s gotta be all Genesis, all the time. We continue:

Even in this article about the universes existing through infinite time, there is a slam at the Bible’s account of origins. The article goes on to state the following: …

A slam at the bible? Hambo selectively picks a part of what the Canadian newspaper was told by Alan Coley, one of the authors of the paper we wrote about. Coley says that his theory awaits experimental confirmation, much as early geology, describing an old earth (contrary to the bible) awaited confirmation. That’s the “slam” at the bible. About that bit of blasphemy, Hambo says:

To me, such an attack on the Bible is a reminder that we are in a spiritual battle. Why is it that secular scientists can suggest all sorts of way out ideas and be taken seriously, but as soon as Christians talk about the Bible’s account of history, they are ridiculed?

Why — oh why! — don’t scientists take Hambo’s creation science seriously? Here’s more:

As the Bible teaches us, if one is not for Christ, then that one is against! There is no neutrality in this spiritual battle.

Yowee! No fanaticism there. But Hambo can’t understand the ridicule. One last excerpt:

People would not react the way they do about what the Bible teaches if it was not a spiritual battle. For me, this is a confirmation that what the Bible teaches about the state of man is true.

So there you are, dear reader. Hambo has declared spiritual war! Jeepers, this is serious.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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