Creationist Wisdom #193: The Ark Van

This one isn’t a letter-to-the-editor; it’s actually a news story. We found it in the Port Stephens Examiner of Port Stephens, New South Wales, Australia — where there seems to be a lot of creationism.

The article is titled Ark van floats creation theory. We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, plus a bit of bold font added for emphasis:

AN ALTERNATIVE to the theory of evolution will be presented at the Gateway Family Presbyterian Church on Sunday. Intelligent design will be explored as Rod and Nancy Walsh bring their to-scale model of Noah’s Ark to the church for a special presentation.

Wow — Rod and Nancy have a genuine scale model of the Ark! Let’s read on:

The couple travel around Australia with their ‘Ark Van’ which they use as part of their presentation that aims to convince sceptics that Noah’s Ark was not ‘some fairytale bathtub boat’ by showing how so many animals were able to fit on board.

There’s a picture of Rod and Nancy in the article, with their van. It displays the address of this website: Creation Ministries International. Hey — among that outfit’s “featured events” is this important notice: Rod Walsh is coming! Touring Eastern USA from September 21 to October 16. Book now!. You don’t need to fly to the underside of the flat earth; Rod is coming to you.

But if you’re going to be in New South Wales this Sunday when the Ark Van arrives, you’ll want to know this:

The event, which gets under way from 7pm is free with the church’s pastor Robin Turner expecting 100 or more people to turn out.

The article gives the preacher’s phone number, but we’ll let you click over there to find it. Moving along:

We believe Earth is 6000 years old not 4.36 billion and Noah’s Ark is crucial to that perspective,” Pastor Robin said.

They give one more quote from the preacher, which proves to us that the Ark Van is coming to the right place:

This explains how Noah’s Ark could accommodate enough animals to repopulate the Earth. Some people think it’s just a fairytale or a myth but the evidence shows that it’s not.

Okay, dear reader. You may have been skeptical about Noah’s Ark, but now you have no excuse. Rod and Nancy have the evidence, and they’re willing to bring it to you. After you see their scale model of Noah’s Ark, you’ll know The Truth!

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #193: The Ark Van

  1. As long as one nickel of my tax dollars isn’t going towards promulgating creationist delusions, I don’t give a gnat’s patootie what they do. We’re not in any way, shape or form paying for this, are we?

  2. Intelligent design will be explored as Rod and Nancy Walsh bring their to-scale model of Noah’s Ark

    I trust that we will hear from the promoters of “Intelligent Design” complaining that ID is not creationism.

  3. Tom S: “I trust that we will hear from the promoters of ‘Intelligent Design’
    complaining that ID is not creationism.”

    And when they don’t it will be yet another squandered opportunity to put their $ where their mouths are, and refute the YEC that they know, and occasionally admit, is nonsense. But more importantly, another squandered opportunity by ~99.9% of “Darwinists” (you and I being among the rare exceptions) to not let them get away with having it both ways.

  4. No comments there yet. If I have time later, I might do it myself.

  5. NDaBoonies

    I have to go see this if it comes to Georgia.

  6. Notice in the picture of one of his models, there appears a wooden crane, on wheels. This would be a bronze age crane. He doesn’t have an army of construction workers in the models, so I guess Noah and his sons built the entire structure by hand – the crane would have been a great help.

    I wonder if he is shipping his models to the states. He could drop by the creation museum and compare notes with Ham. They would probably get into technical arguments over minutia of ark-craft.

  7. @Ed:This would be a bronze age crane. He doesn’t have an army of construction workers in the models, so I guess Noah and his sons built the entire structure by hand – the crane would have been a great help.

    They had cranes in the Bronze Age. Oldest ones found so far date to 6th century BC.

  8. They had cranes in the Bronze Age. Oldest ones found so far date to 6th century BC.

    So that would be 2600 years ago (roughly). When, exactly, do the IDers claim The Flood ™ occurred?

  9. @ Gary, about 2000 BC, but maybe God told Noah how to build a crane in addition to building a boat.

  10. If God could just make us “appear”, why couldn’t he do the same thing with a boat? In other words, why would Noah have to build it, load it, and float it, when God could have simply gone “Poof! There it is!”?
    I know, I know. I’m thinking logically again. I probably just drank too much of the Mt Dew (the Pepsi product, not the old Appalachia kind).

  11. @Gary: You have to wonder about the consistency of the myths. God floods the entire world, causes enormous worldwide geological disruption, yet makes Noah build a wooden boat by himself. According to the bible, he gives him minimum specifications, so Noah – who was not mentioned as a ship builder or sailor – had to figure out how such a ship would go together, cut the trees, plane the wood, assemble the ship, make it water-tight, etc.

    Maybe the bible left out the bit about God delivering an ark kit, IKEA-like, which Noah just assembled following the drawings in the instruction scroll. Using his crane, of course.

  12. Gary: “If God could just make us ‘appear’, why couldn’t he do the same thing with a boat?”

    And do it all last Thursday. That would solve the problem that “scientific” YEC had from the very beginning, which was, no matter how easy it is to pick and choose evidence to make ages younger, it was impossible to get that evidence to converge on a particular age, even with that cheating. In stark contrast to mainstream science, where work in many fields by many different researchers independently converged on the ages that we have, with no particular ones sought in advance.

    It’s grave problems like that that forced at least some scammers to start “evolving” into the “don’t ask, don’t tell” ID strategy even before they were forced to (“Edwards v Aguillard” and “cdesign proponentsists”).

  13. I still don’t get how people can really be that stoopid. I just don’t get it.

    *shakes head*

  14. satchmodog

    We have a hard enough time getting a German Shepherd and a Great Pyrenees along with my wife’s crap in a Volvo wagon.

  15. LRA says: “I still don’t get how people can really be that stoopid.”

    It makes them happy.