ICR Denounces Noah’s Ark Game

We can’t tell if this signals the final collapse of the creationism movement, or if it’s just a slow day at the Institute for Creation Research (ICR) — the granddaddy of all creationist outfits, the fountainhead of young-earth creationist wisdom.

Alas, we suspect the latter. Anyway, their latest article is Noah’s Ark Game Misses the Boat. We got our image of the game from Walmart’s website. Here are some excerpts from ICR’s article, with bold font added by us:

Noah’s Ark has been a popular story for children, with its parade of colorful animals living in a floating zoo. But the small and cute boat often pictured in stories, toys, and games is so unlike the gigantic seaworthy vessel described in the Bible that it leaves a misleading impression. How could such a craft possibly have preserved animals and people through a real, historical global flood?

The Ark described in scripture is of dubious seaworthiness, but we’ll leave that debate to experts. Back to ICR’s article:

One example of this parody of the biblical Ark is a game for preschoolers produced by Rubik’s Cube toy maker Ideal.

Creationist research is consistent throughout all aspects of their work, so we took the time to check Wikipedia’s article on Ideal Toy Company. It indicates that although Ideal once made Rubik’s Cube, they no longer do so — another outfit does. In fact, Ideal exists today only as a line of toys (including the Ark game) made by a different company.

Hey, Walmart provides a description of the game:

Ideal’s Noah’s Ark Game is perfect for the preschooler’s first lessons about Noah! Your little one can spin the spinner and move their animals onto the ark. The first player to get all the animals safely aboard wins.

Fun for the whole family! Let’s get back to ICR:

The Noah’s Ark Game looks innocuous enough, with a picture of colorful animals crowding the roof and deck of a boat barely large enough to hold them. But it misrepresents the Ark to such a degree that it undermines the feasibility of Scripture’s account of the Flood.

ICR is worried that children’s toys undermine the “feasibility” of the Flood and the Ark? They have too much time on their hands. We continue:

Unbelievers often use their personal interpretations of the Noah’s Ark account to try to demonstrate that the Bible is false, asserting that it would have been impossible to squeeze two of each animal species onto such a small vessel. But in reality, the Ark was longer than a football field and had more capacity than 500 railroad boxcars.

You don’t have to doubt the credibility of that claim, because ICR has a footnote to The Genesis Flood, co-authored by ICR’s founder, Henry M. Morris. Skipping some other details (attributed to ICR’s Ark specialists) about the Ark’s adequacy for its purpose, we are told:

This left ample room for food and supplies, including space for plants that the Lord instructed Noah to take for food. This also fits with the Lord’s instruction for Noah to build a window in the Ark, which could have supplied the plants with light.

One window would have been more than sufficient — not only to allow sunlight for specimens of all the plants on Earth, but to provide ventilation for the whole menagerie. Here’s the article’s end:

Cute Ark images similar to the one on the game box have appeared in various children’s books and other toys and decorations. But they misrepresent the biblical account. And if parents never teach their children that this icon is false, then students are left with the wrong impression of the true nature of biblical history.

There’s only one solution to this problem. An ecclesiastical board should be established by the government — when it’s a truly God-fearing government. The board will examine all toys and other images to assure that they comply with The Truth. Blasphemers will be burned at the stake.

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “ICR Denounces Noah’s Ark Game

  1. Another winner, Curmy, many thanks! In particular, that doozey of a final sentence you quote –

    “But they misrepresent the biblical account. And if parents never teach their children that this icon is false, then students are left with the wrong impression of the true nature of biblical history”

    – which gets my vote for Oxymoron of the Month.

    And, inspired by this piece, I’d like to propose that the Creationists, in lieu of lavish expenditure on ‘Biblical’ theme parks, instead stump up the time and cash for a genuine bit of experimental research, to wit: to demonstrate the ‘reality’ of this claim –

    “But in reality, the Ark was longer than a football field and had more capacity than 500 railroad boxcars”

    – why don’t they build one, a precise replica, and demonstrate how it could indeed have “ample room for food and supplies, including space for plants that the Lord instructed Noah to take for food.” Ideally, of course, they should construct this using only Biblical technology — but hey, I’m willing to give them a pass on that and allow the use of as many Black & Decker tools as they need. I’ll even allow the use of modern transport to gather up two of each and every species of land animal and plant to load on board. But the thing has to float for the requisite 40 days without any external resupplying, and safely land with everything on board alive and healthy (with the exception of the unicorns).

    Of course, that would not *prove* the Biblical account occurred, but, like the Kon-Tiki expedition, demonstrate feasibility. Any Creationists seriously willing to take up this challenge are welcome to a $10 donation from me.

  2. Someday I may figure out why my grammar goes haywire when writing quick, uneditable posts on your blog. Should of course been “Black & Decker tools as they need”, and somehow an extraneous ‘To’ crept into the front of “Any Creationists seriously willing” &c.

    But you know what I meant…

  3. Ceteris Paribus

    “And if parents never teach their children that this icon is false, then students are left with the wrong impression of the true nature of biblical history.

    So when does the ICR intend to release its own, realistic and truly biblical “The Walls of Jericho Game” for the kiddies?

    I want one for myself. It’s a slow day here too.

  4. megalonyx says: “Someday I may figure out why my grammar goes haywire when writing quick, uneditable posts on your blog.”

    It grieves me that there’s no edit feature for comments, but that’s how it goes. I’ve patched up your earlier comment.

  5. (1) Yes! Let’s teach little kids that if God gets mad at people, he kills them all! What a loving God!

    (2) How are these people really this stoopid. Even *if* the ark was as big as they claim, it *still* would not be big enough to carry all of the Earth’s biodiversity plus supplies to keep them alive. How the heck is Noah going to go to the Antarctic to get penguins and keep them alive in the heat of the Middle East? Puh-leaze. Really. How are they this stoopid? I just don’t get it.

  6. Where have you been, LRA?

  7. Does the Noah’s Ark game include a fleet of Federal Express cargo planes? No? Then how is Noah supposed to get his polar bears to the Arctic, American Bison to North America, tapirs to South America, African elephants to Africa, etc. No FedEx? What then… cargo ships? And did the wooly mammoth go extinct before Noah’s Great Big adventure, or after??

  8. Another image of Noah’s Ark that bothers me: the one where everyone’s stepping off the ark into green fields and forests of lush vegetation.

    Here’s one (from Brick Testament) that more or less gets it right: http://www.thebricktestament.com/genesis/god_drowns_everyone/24_gn08_18-19.html

  9. I wonder if AiG and ICR agree on what exactly the Ark looked like, inside and out, on what exactly Noah put into it, and how he managed to fit all comfortably inside.

    Assuming they do not agree, I’d love to see ICR followers camping outside and protesting in front of of Ken Ham’s Ark Park, spitting on Ham’s employees as they go to work, and carrying signs denouncing Ham for heresy.

  10. @The Curmudgeon: “Where have you been, LRA?”

    No doubt in Iowa & New Hampshire, campaigning for Santorum (snicker!).

    And about the mammoths — they had to be sacrificed to feed the lions, tigers, and all the other carnivores. Same goes for the dinosaurs. Noah chose the “big guys” because he got the maximum amount of food for the minimum number of species. Why he didn’t simply catch a few whales to feed the carnivores is beyond me.

  11. I thought I was being original in my ‘challenge’ to build a full-size Ark — but astoundingly, it turns out Ol’ Hambo is already doing this!

    http://arkencounter.com/

    Unbelievable…

  12. The ICR needs to issue an advisory to purchasers of the game with a list of engineering details that should be read to each pre-schooler before he or she plays the game.

    Maybe the ICR should sell it’s own Noah’s ark game. The set could come with an ICR-approved ark, and a complete set of animals made to the same scale as the ark. Game play would continue indefinitely, as participants used tweezers and magnifying glasses to place each of the thousands of scale animals in the ark, a pair at a time. The box cover could feature an exciting painting of the ark riding in stormy seas awash with bloated floating human and animal carcasses. After all, realism is everything.

  13. I’ve found the one true ark.
    Its in Rick Perry’s backyard.!
    Good news all around for Disco.
    Will