WND: Rev. David Rives — Beware False Gods!

We were once again awakened by the blaring sirens and lights flashing on the wall display of our Retard-o-tron™. The blinking letters on the wall said WorldNetDaily. WorldNetDaily (WND) is the flamingly creationist, absolutely execrable, moronic, and incurably crazed journalistic organ that believes in and enthusiastically promotes every conspiracy theory that ever existed.

The Retard-o-tron™ directed us to WND’s presentation of a new video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries. WND’s tantalizing headline is Can the stars tell us our destiny?

The rev’s video is titled “Astrology and the Secret Cult of Mithra.” It’s ninety glorious seconds long, filled with information about false sun-deity of the Persians and the Romans named Mithra. The rev warns us to be wary of false sky-gods. Only the rev’s religion is true!

WND’s links to the rev’s videos have been wonky lately (probably satanic interference), so that one may not work when you go there. We don’t want you to be disappointed, so here’s another of the rev’s Mithra videos we found at YouTube:

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5 responses to “WND: Rev. David Rives — Beware False Gods!

  1. Why do you do this to us? I can understand wanting to watch these videos in the same sense Bernd Jurgen Brandes wanted to meet Armin Meiwes (google it if you don’t know the story). But to inflict Rev. Rives on us is cruel, not all of us want to go through the mental equivalent of the Meiwes/Brandes romance.

  2. The Reverend has a point. I remember when Mithra fought Godzilla. She sprayed him with silk, and used her false sky-god mandibles to bite his rubbery tail.

  3. You haven’t given out a Buffoon Award since April, 2010. Surely Rev. Rives has shown he deserves it by now.

  4. Someone should remind the Rev. that Christians exterminated the the Mithraic cult around 500 CE.

    They’re no longer a threat, Rev.

  5. The point of this is that Rives wanted a vacation in Italy, but he wants to say he did it for his “Ministry.”