Discoveroids React to the Martian Landing

Yesterday we reported how AIG Reacts to the Martian Landing. Today we have the reaction of the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids, a/k/a the cdesign proponentsists).

The Discoveroids assigned this job to David Klinghoffer, whose creationist oeuvre we last described here, and upon whom the Discoveroids have bestowed the exalted title of “senior fellow” — i.e., flaming, full-blown creationist. His name has some of the resonance of Red Skelton’s Clem Kadiddlehopper.

Neither a lawyer nor a fallen scientist, Klinghoffer plays the role of house mystic — a convenient guise for a retained essayist whose principal job is to enthusiastically function as an unrestrained journalistic slasher whenever his creationist masters assign him to the task. There’s really no conflict between his role as both mystic and slasher. Rather, they’re complementary behaviors. Whenever his mystical view of the world is threatened by science, he starts slashing to preserve his rapturous befuddlement.

Klinghoffer’s (or Kadiddlehopper’s) post is titled Why They Sent the Curiosity Rover to Mars. This isn’t his first article on the subject. A year ago we wrote Klinghoffer: Life on Mars Is a Darwinist Fantasy, and for the historical record, four years ago we wrote Discovery Institute: ID and Life on Mars. That was about an article by his buddy, Casey.

It won’t surprise you to learn that the traditional Discoveroid position on Mars is: “Nothing to see there, folks; but even if there is, the Designer did it.” In other words, ID “theory” accommodates all data that may or may not exist.

That’s enough introduction. We know you’re anxious to get into Klinghoffer’s latest. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

As media coverage has uniformly noted, this is about finding evidence of past or even present life, or at least the “ingredients” of life. As if the mere presence of such ingredients would tell you anything about whether life in fact ever existed there. I had the ingredients of many a fine and healthful homemade meal in our refrigerator last night, yet I ate takeout for dinner.

He actually gets paid for writing that stuff — and you want more, don’t you? Okay. Then he quotes the director of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, who said that the mission’s cost for each American was less the price of going to see an adventure movie. Klinghoffer indignantly responds:

An adventure movie? That’s the motivation? I don’t think so — and if you doubt me, take note of the speaker: Dr. Elachi of NASA’s JPL, an organization whose own scientific culture and seething bias against intelligent design we’ve documented here at great length in the context of the David Coppedge case.

“Seething bias against intelligent design”? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey, Klinghoffer, how did they manage to get to Mars without your buddy, Coppedge? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

But wait — here comes the best part:

Make no mistake, NASA has committed $2.5 billion to this little project in large part to satisfy a need in the culture of Big Science — a culture that extends far beyond the professional ranks of actual scientists — for validation of a particular worldview. In that worldview, life arises and evolves spontaneously — it must do so — reflecting no purpose or design, given a handful of (not especially elevated) ingredients and enough time.

You’re shaking your head in wonderment, aren’t you, dear reader? But that’s how Klinghoffer and the Discoveroids see the mission. Then he doubles down on that insight:

In this Darwinian picture, life is nothing special. Countless men and women stake the meaning of their own lives, or rather the meaning they imagine and invest in their lives, on this idea. Yet two empirical problems intrude.

What two empirical problems? Well, he tells us that the cell is complicated — really complicated. And SETI hasn’t found any intelligent life out there. Therefore, what? Darwin was a madman? Klinghoffer doesn’t really say what those “two empirical problems” mean, but we can see his mind working: “We must all sink to our knees and worship the intelligent designer — blessed be he!

Having made his point so conclusively, Klinghoffer then tells us:

Intelligent design would not be troubled by Curiosity’s uncovering Martian life. Some theologians might or might not find such a thing problematic — go ask them if you like — but ID is not theology.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! He continues:

All the evidence we need to make the case for ID is right here on Earth, and more is revealed every week.

They get more evidence every week! One day maybe they’ll show it to us. Hey, speaking of evidence, if you’d like some suggesting that Klinghoffer is delusional, read his next paragraph:

By contrast, Darwin’s believers must at some level register that not only does the public resist their arguments, but the evidence is resistant as well. The case for unguided Darwinian evolution isn’t deepening. It’s not getting any stronger. Hence the excitement about a new hoped-for source of confirmation — on another planet!

If that didn’t convince you, read his final sentence:

Broadly speaking, they sent Curiosity to Mars in an effort, however doomed, to refute intelligent design.

We’re very grateful to Klinghoffer for that essay. It’s definitely one of his best.

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Discoveroids React to the Martian Landing

  1. Broadly speaking, they sent Curiosity to Mars in an effort, however doomed, to refute intelligent design.

    Just awesome. It is a transcendent statement of pure, glorious, insanity. Klinghoffer has left our reality completely, and is voyaging by himself in some alternate universe which only he can see.

    Speechless.

  2. Charley Horse

    He’s doing what his religion has done for 2,000 years.
    Attempting–with brief success–to suppress man’s
    curiosity.

    Only those already hooked on his creationist ideology will
    consider his attempt at declaring NASA an enemy of his
    religion having any evidence of that.

    Ending and limiting scientific research and exploration has been
    a platform of the fundies–some success under Bush–and we will
    see more attempts and successes the more they control the Retaliban Republican Party.

  3. Hey, Charley Horse: It’s Obama who’s shutting down the NASA budget.

  4. It’s egotism for Dingle Klingleberry to think that scientists sent a rover to Mars just to disprove his superstition.

    All scientists need to disprove Intelligent Design is send Michael Behe to Dover to be cross-examined. Much shorter distance to travel.

    Every time I turn on the TV, I see a glossy commercial attacking the EPA for allegedly costing Americans their jobs. Funded by coal companies who want to do more mountaintop removal.

    How much longer before we have ID creationist commercials attacking NASA?

    Creationists were wrong about vitalism, wrong about continental drift, wrong about ice ages, wrong about no exoplanets, wrong about no exoplanets in the habitable zone, wrong about the Higgs boson, wrong about human footprints at Paluxy, wrong about the Calaveras skeleton, wrong about the Freiberg skull, wrong about the Ica stones, etc. etc.

    This is not a guarantee that they will be wrong about extraterrestrial life. But we should never let them forget their own history.

  5. Charley Horse

    Obama did decide, based on advice from those qualified
    to do so, to shut down manned lunar landing projects for other
    more worthwhile and cost effective projects. I wouldn’t consider that an anti-science decision. Obama does make take tough decisions.
    One he made could of easily of destroyed any chance of being
    re-elected if one of many things had gone wrong. But his foes
    refuse to give him his deserved credit for it….the death of
    Osama ben Laden.

  6. Getting back to Kookiemonster, in another age he’d have been saying: “If man were meant to fly, he’d have wings!”

    Every endeavor into the unknown has had its share of smug, hysterical “Klinghoffers.” Their actual names don’t matter, except to litter the dustbins of history.

  7. Curmster, both Bush and Obama have reduced the NASA budget as a percent of total budget and in terms of a standard dollar.

  8. “All the evidence we need to make the case for ID is right here on Earth, and more is revealed every week.”

    I don’t think we should be holding our breath waiting for these promised revelations from the dishonesty institute.

  9. This Wikipedia article shows the size of all NASA budgets. It increased slightly each year during the years of Bush the younger, except for one small dip in 2006 — after which it came back bigger than ever. The actual decreases are coming in the Obama years.

  10. I hear the NASA sent this mission to Mars to keep elephants away.

    {looks around and sees no elephants}

    It Works! IT WORKS!!

  11. Yes Kadoopleflopper, that’s why Curiosity went to Mars, to refute Intelligent Design.
    The secrets out!
    Not only that, but when they discovered Coppedge was really your double probation super secret spy, they got rid of him. NASA and JPL. What a bunch of sore losers. All they did was go to Mars. It’s not like they published a creationism book like Casey.And that guy in the control room with the Mohawk? He’s totally not DI material. But the chicks like him. Go figure…