AIG: Secrets of the Creation Museum

No doubt you’ve probably wondered: How strange is it, really, at Answers in Genesis? As you know, AIG is one of the major sources of young-earth creationist wisdom. It’s the online creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia.

To help you answer that question, here’s something we found at ol’ Hambo’s personal blog: Keeping Things Updated — Graffiti Alley. What’s Graffiti Alley? This is your opportunity to learn about it in the words of ol’ Hambo himself, with bold font added by us. This is how it starts:

I do praise the Lord for our diligent and talented Creation Museum design team. They do their best to keep things updated at the Creation Museum! We don’t want to be stale here. Recently, Cathy Henderson (she oversees the incredibly popular Christmas program at the museum that attracts around 25,000 visitors for eight days each Christmas and New Year’s time) updated the Graffiti Alley exhibit in the museum.

The Graffiti Alley exhibit? What in the world is that? So far, all we know is that Cathy, who oversees AIG’s Christmas program, has recently updated Graffiti Alley. We also know that it’s an exhibit in the museum — that’s AIG’s infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum — the North American Mecca for the mindless. But … what’s Graffiti Alley all about? Hambo continues:

Graffiti Alley is where we point out the negative effects that abandoning the authority of God’s Word has on the culture. A major part of the exhibit consists of news and magazine headlines plastered on the walls.

M’god — you know what that reminds us of? It’s like the creepy scene in a movie about a serial killer, when the police search a suspect’s home and there, displayed on a bedroom wall, are hundreds of photos, newspaper headlines, and magazine articles about his crimes. We certainly can’t judge Graffiti Alley without seeing it, and therefore we won’t try to do so — but from what we’ve just read it sounds like Hollywood’s concept of a psycho’s decorating scheme. Let’s read on:

These various news and magazine clippings all contain stories relevant to the decline of the culture. One of the most recent additions is a headline regarding the recent tragic shooting in Aurora, Colorado.

All this time we’ve been expecting the Discoveroids to be the first to blame that one on Darwin (see Colorado Shooter James Holmes & Darwin), but ol’ Hambo beat them to it. He continues:

Of course, we don’t say evolution causes social problems, but it can certainly fuel them, which we show in a new exhibit on the connection between racism and Darwinian thinking.

They don’t say that evolution is to blame? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Then what’s the purpose of Graffiti Alley in their “museum”? Maybe it’s just there to enhance the creationist ambiance. Here’s more:

The shooting tragedy was a sobering reminder of the effects of sin and the resulting curse of death on the world.

Yup — it’s convincing proof of Adam & Eve’s disobedience. Here’s how Hambo ends his inspiring essay on Graffiti Alley:

Indeed, all of Graffiti Alley is intended to teach and remind Christians that we live in a fallen world, and that our only hope is “the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes” [scripture reference].

So there you are, dear reader. If you were looking for a good reason to visit Hambo’s museum, now you’ve got it. Graffiti Alley is probably the most informative exhibit in the whole place.

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “AIG: Secrets of the Creation Museum

  1. Of course, we don’t say evolution causes social problems, but it can certainly fuel them…

    Unlike religion, which has never fueled social problems.

  2. It isn’t every day that a Creation Science Hall of Fame is started. But that is exactly what has happened.

    A small group of Doctorates and a retired Science Teacher has started the first ever Creation Science Hall of Fame. Currently it’s a web site: creationsciencehalloffame.org, but they have intentions of building a brick and mortar structure somewhere between Answers in Genesis Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter.

    Nick Lally, the founder of the CSHF says he expects over one million visitors per year as people shuttle back and forth between the life-size Ark Encounter to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky, USA.

    The Hall of Fame building will eventually house the biographies, pictures, accomplishments, effects, and artifacts of all its inductees. Until that time, we shall illustrate those items on the web site.

    Just recently, the CSHF dedicated a full page to Dr Jerry Bergman, author of Slaughter of the Dissidents by listing (with permission) his “Select list of Science Academics, Scientists, and Scholars who are Skeptical of Darwinism”.

    Mr. Lally understands that this is a monumental project, but he also knows that if God is for it, who could be against it?

    He hopes that donations will begin pouring in as soon as the Board of Directors complete and secure the Not-For-Profit application.

    Nick says its time has come. The creation movement in this country will now be united more than ever, and proud of the fact that it can show the world the list of inductees who have honored God’s Word as literally written in Genesis and have worked toward that end during their lifetime.

    Christians around the world will aspire to the Creation Science Hall of Fame as well as home-schoolers who will gain a wealth of information from the web site.

    Nick Lally, Chairman, Board of Directors, Creation Science Hall of Fame

  3. Charles Deetz ;)

    Bet you it is clippings taped to the wall on the hallway to the bathrooms.

  4. Nick Lally says: “Mr. Lally understands that this is a monumental project, but he also knows that if God is for it, who could be against it?”

    As Rick said in Casablanca: Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

  5. Nick Lally says: “Mr. Lally understands that this is a monumental project, but he also knows that if God is for it, who could be against it?”

    I didn’t realize today was Speak in the Third Person Day. Mr. NeonNoodle would like to know how Mr. Lally knows God is for it?

  6. retiredsciguy

    Nick Lally says, “A small group of Doctorates and a retired Science Teacher has started the first ever Creation Science Hall of Fame.”

    Bet that’s a very small group of doctorates. And rest assured, that “retired science teacher” is not me.

    Ken Ham says, “We don’t want to be stale here.”

    Maybe that’s why he’s a young earth creationist.

  7. Mr Noodle, Mr Geo says,

    Creationism. Because reading one book over and over, is much easier than studying a bunch of hard ones.

    Thanks for sharing Mr Curmudgeon.

  8. Ken Ham says, “We don’t want to be stale here.”

    Then why saddle yourself with a “science” curriculum that’s over 2.000 years-old?

  9. Nick says: “It isn’t every day that a Creation Science Hall of Fame is started.”

    Thank god.

  10. I imagine they could have a whole corridor of the gullible along that route. With possibly starting a Santa Claus museum for starters, along with the story of Rudolph along with a dentist office run by co-misfit elf. But there is more, how about a psychic-astrology hall of fame museum with the likes of Sydney Omarr, Jeanne Dixon, Linda Georgian, and Gary Spivey (is his white afro as fake as he is?) Honorary inductee Dione Warwick’s music plays in the background as you encounter exhibits like Sylvia Browne’s fingernails. A bent spoon and stopped clock exhibit courtesy of Uri Gellar. James Van Prague’s video lesson in googling nosy reporters for that killer cold reading. Finally an “alphabet soup” exhibit for the John Edwards exhibit with Edward’s personal Ouija board allows you to pretend to talk to your dearly departed ancestors.

  11. Ceteris Paribus

    Hambo knows
    “We sinned all”
    go ask the dinos
    in his mall
    Burma ShaveGraffiti Alley

  12. “Christians around the world will aspire to the Creation Science Hall of Fame…”

    No, I won’t.

  13. creationsciencehallofshame.org

    http://www.nthf.org/

    Fixed.

  14. Graffiti Alley new entry? Casey’s phone number? Just thinking out loud here.

  15. Fallen world??? What an idiot! A total freakin’ moron! The Earth is probably among the greatest, most magnificent worlds in the Cosmos! A living world covered with life, and he calls it ‘fallen’? I wish that numbskull would just crawl back under his creationist rock and disappear! What an arrogant blathering fool!