Birth of a Movement: Occupy Creationism!

This is a day to remember, dear reader. A whole new political phenomenon is about to be born, and you are a witness to that birth. Every detail of this moment will be forever seared into your memory, and years hence, when the young ones ask: “Where were you when it all got started?” you’ll be able to recall it all with perfect clarity.

What’s happening is this: Inspired by the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement, your Curmudgeon suggests the … ah, creation of an Occupy Creationism™ movement. Why not? Crazy people all over the world are running around demonstrating for their peculiar variety of madness, so why shouldn’t rational people get out there and enjoy a bit of publicity?

What would our movement do? The same thing all the other movements do — we’ll demonstrate. Our demonstrators will gather around prominent creationist institutions like creation museums, schools that teach creationism, and the official government buildings of states with creationist legislatures and governors — like Louisiana and Tennessee. Churches should be avoided, because we’re firm believers in religious freedom, so they should be left alone to preach whatever they want.

Okay, but other than showing up wearing pocket protectors, what will our demonstrators actually do? Well, what did the OWS people do? Not much, except carry signs, make noise, and march around. Well, they also behaved deplorably, but our people are intelligent and educated, so we wouldn’t do any of that bad stuff. It’ll be like a walk in the park, without littering. We’ll get permits, be respectful of the police, and we’ll even scoop up behind our dogs.

What signs will we carry? Nothing that would be deliberately insulting, like a banner proclaiming “Creationism is stupid!” We’re not looking for trouble. A few appropriate slogans come readily to mind. How about “Evolution is good science!” and maybe a Tiktaalik picture with the caption: “Meet your ancestor!” We particularly like this one: “For God’s sake, THINK!”

Okay, you in the back with a hand up — what’s your question? You say “THINK” is okay, but you don’t want to mention God? Look, we’re not a bunch of business machine salesmen. The slogan we suggest is fine. You don’t have to carry that one if you don’t want to.

Anyway, that’s the general idea. Will our movement accomplish anything? No, probably not. Adult creationists are almost always incurable. But it’ll give us a few interesting afternoons when the weather is pleasant, and that’s not bad. Besides, why should crazy people have all the fun?

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Birth of a Movement: Occupy Creationism!

  1. You’re going to have to lay off the Dr. Pepper, SC. :)

  2. It took three tries…

  3. Charles Deetz ;)

    Oh goody, I’m in! Does this mean I can Occupy the saddle on the triceratops at the CM? I’ll even tote the “For God’s sake, THINK!” sign. Pleez!

  4. I thought about it long ago, but you’re on record first, so you can take credit. All I ask is that you don’t fall into the trap of all political extremists who claim to represent the 99% but when push comes to shove, show that they are the 1%.

    We need to represent the 99% that are not committed anti-evolution activists. That means that we are here to help rank-and-file evolution deniers. Granted, there’s nothing we can do for the beyond-hope ~25%, so there’s no need to give them 5 minutes’ thought, let alone obsess over them, as most fellow “Darwinists” do. The rest need our active help, whether they are the non-hopeless deniers, those who claim to accept evolution but think it’s fair to “teach both sides,” or those who reject “teach both sides” but have a poor understanding of evolution or the nature of science. The latter are often the “useful idiots” of the anti-evolution activists.

    Adult “creationists” may be incurable, depending on how you define the wretched C-word, but adults who are misled about evolution are not. And they’re the majority.

  5. Frank J says:

    I thought about it long ago, but you’re on record first, so you can take credit.

    I know how you feel. I thought about the solar system long ago, but Galileo published first, so I let him take the credit.

    All I ask is that you don’t fall into the trap of all political extremists who claim to represent the 99% but when push comes to shove, show that they are the 1%.

    I don’t claim to represent anyone but myself.

  6. Here’s my freshly-painted placard:

    PROUD TO HAVE A COMMON ANCESTOR WITH APES.
    ASHAMED TO BE MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO CASEY LUSKIN

    Can I join?

  7. Megalonyx asks: “Can I join?”

    You seem to have the proper spirit. And you wisely avoided anything that involved an apostrophe.

  8. This is sad, but the fooled seem to be ‘everywhere’ — I refer to:
    http://www.showrealhist.com/yTRIAL.html
    http://www.showrealhist.com/RHandRD.html
    Believers/non-believers, no difference apparent.

  9. Unfortunately, as President for Life of the Darwinian Pressure Group, Delta Pi Gamma, my time is limited and I will have to pass being an active member of this group. However, that said, I would be willing to serve on the Board of Directors if asked and expenses paid.

    Thanks me later,
    Doc Bill
    Future Director of Occupy Creationism ™

  10. But doing nothing will achieve nothing. We have to be active in continuing to knock this stuff down. Respond to letters. Go to their websites. Ask for the fossil evidence.

  11. @Chris P:

    By all means do that. But realize that if you just ask them (I assume you mean trained anti-evolution activists) for fossil (or molecular, comparative anatomy, etc.) evidence, they’ll just trot out some of the same old out-of-context nonsense and spin it as “weaknesses” of “Darwinism.” What they dread being asked are simple questions about what they think the evidence concludes in terms of “what happened when.” Because they know that their answers will flatly contradict those that other evolution-deniers have offered. I often start by asking whether they agree with chief anti-evolution activist Michael Behe on the ~4 billion years of common descent. ~99% of the time they run away looking for others who are better at taking their bait.