It’s time to get serious, dear reader. According to the Mayan prophesy, The End of the World is coming on 21 December. Here’s your schedule:
Today, the 18th: Nothing.
Tomorrow, the 19th: Nothing.
Thursday, the 20th: Ah, this day is special. December 20 is Kitzmas. This will be the seventh anniversary of the decision on 20 December 2005 by Judge John E. Jones III in the case of Kitzmiller v. Dover Area School District.
To increase our merriment, every year around this time the Discoveroids post an exceedingly bitter diatribe blasting the Kitzmiller decision, Judge Jones, and the witnesses on the winning side. Such posts are usually written by either Casey or Westie, and we always look forward to them.
Unfortunately, that will be your last day of merriment, because the very next day will be The End. But even so, you will know that the creationists are having an especially grim time of it. And that’s a good way to go.
But all is not lost. We hope you all remember our instructions for possible survival: (1) stay indoors, (2) be fully clothed, (3) put a bag over your head, and (4) seal your toilets.
But wait — there’s more! As a special reward for following the Curmudgeon’s blog, we have one additional tip, and this may be the most important of all. In our desire to be of service, we consulted a Mayan holy man. His name is Xipe Totec, which is also the name of the god of spring and rebirth. He claims to be 200 years old!
He confided to us that there is one more thing you can do to possibly assure your survival — align yourself with magnetic north! That will cause the cosmic energies to flow past you, and it could be enough to keep you from being swept away in the general chaos.
While we’re waiting for The End of the World, we declare this post to be an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. You know the rules. And in case we forget — Merry Kitzmas to one and all!
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