Who would have believed it? There we were, awaiting The End, having taken all the recommended precautions. We were fully clothed, lying in bed with a bag over our head, carefully aligned with magnetic north, and all the bathroom fixtures were sealed. We hoped to survive, and yet we were peacefully resigned to our fate.
Then suddenly, with no warning … a portal opened up leading to another dimension! We didn’t hesitate. Bravely we took a leap of faith! And now we find ourselves in space, watching in wonder as a new universe swiftly assembles itself out of the swirling chaos and debris of the former universe.
Even as we send this message (with an actual photo as evidence, made using approved Discovery Institute methods), we can see a new Earth being assembled nearby. Soon it will be complete and we will descend to take our place, in a world where only we remember what truly happened on the 21st. The Mayans were right! The world really did end. But only your Curmudgeon experienced the fullness of it.
By the time you read this everything will seem normal to you, and you will think that nothing out of the ordinary happened yesterday. But you’re a fool! How little you know! The Curmudgeon knows all!
Of all the billions of humans on Earth, only the Curmudgeon’s consciousness has transcended intact from the old universe to the new one. But because of our legendary humility, you need not refer to us as The Transcendent Curmudgeon. We will simply continue as before, but with an amazingly heightened awareness. And of course, we have the above photo as proof of our incredible journey.
We shall now return this blog to its customary subject matter, but for us — nothing will ever be the same.
Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.