Creationist Wisdom #304: The Business Major

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Daily Targum, the student newspaper of Rutgers University, a state-run institution located in New Brunswick, New Jersey. It’s titled Creationism has merit.

We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. As we usually do, we’ll omit the writer’s name and city. We will, however, point out that at the end of the article the author is identified as: “a Rutgers Business School senior majoring in supply chain and marketing science with minors in business and technical writing and economics.” Okay, here we go:

I do not believe in the theory of evolution. I do not believe human beings or any other complex creatures on this earth were originally single-celled organisms that evolved into what they are because of billions of years of natural selection and genetic mutation. I believe that God created human beings and other complex creatures in a form not too dissimilar from how they are now, and I will show that my belief of old-earth creationism at least has merit.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The author is a college senior. Well, he’s only a business major. What’s he going to do for a career — open a chain of creation museums? Anyway, he’s promised to show us that his belief in creationism has merit, so let’s see what he’s got to offer:

In order to show the merit of creationism, I must first show that belief in God has merit, which is a far easier task. God’s existence, after all, is the best explanation for any supernatural phenomenon that might exist, so in order to reasonably demonstrate the existence of God, all I would have to do is reasonably demonstrate the existence of supernatural phenomena.

This is amazing! Let’s read on:

And supernatural phenomena are actually fairly commonplace. I’ve witnessed them numerous times and been a party to them numerous times. I’ve met people who have experienced supernatural phenomena far crazier than anything I’ve ever experienced, and read non-fictional accounts about many others. I can spend hundreds of thousands of pages describing events that have unquestionably occurred that cannot be reasonably explained by anything other than the existence of God, but considering humans’ often skeptical nature, the best possible way to prove the existence of supernatural phenomena is, of course, to demonstrate such things. That’s not easy to do through an article. Please take my word for it.

Hey, Mr. business major: The Curmudgeon has some high and dry land in the middle of the Everglades to sell you, and it’s ready for development. Please take my word for it.

Ah well, let’s continue:

Now, starting with the assumption that God exists, it seems fairly reasonably to think that he created the living species on earth more or less as they are. [Aaaargh!!] Sure, there are some fossils that seem to represent intermediary stages between some creatures, but these could easily be extinct unique creatures. [Aaaargh!!] We scarcely have fossils for all the supposed evolutionary stages after all, and for many creatures, there are no “intermediaries.”

Good, huh? Here’s more:

The fact of the matter is that all the evidence that exists for evolution is easily consistent with creation, and a decent amount of that evidence for evolution is also evidence for creation. Many people say the theory of evolution is the best explanation for life on earth, and it is, if you are willing to arbitrarily ignore God.

We’ll skip a bit. You can click over there to read it all. Here’s the last paragraph:

I just want to show the public how it is that a rational person who understands evolutionary science can believe in creationism. [Aaaargh!!] All I ask is that biologists stop acting like evolution is a fact of the universe. Evolution is a theory that has a lot of merit, but creationism also has merit because the facts fit just as well with it, especially considering the utter complexity of life. DNA has a powerful built-in error-checking mechanism, c’mon. You’re going to tell me it’s far more likely that was developed by chance?

So there you are. The newspaper has only one comment so far. Perhaps everyone on campus is in shock.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #304: The Business Major

  1. Business Major said:

    I can spend hundreds of thousands of pages describing events that have unquestionably occurred that cannot be reasonably explained by anything other than the existence of God,

    And yet you cannot describe even one for your article.

    Please take my word for it.

    No. No, I won’t, because that statement ranks right up there with “The check is in the mail” and “It’s just down the road a ways. You can’t miss it.” You might as well utter the phrase, “Who are you going to believe? Me, or your own lying eyes?”

  2. Are these kinds of letters simply a form of resume filler for evangelicals? What person would want such a letter to show up on a google search of their name otherwise?

  3. He says he’s an old earth creationist, and that the evidence for evolution is consistent with creation – if you stipulate that there is a god, and he created all the various extinct organisms in the fossil record (in a pattern mirroring common descent.) Oh, and we know that there’s a god because of all the supernatural events that have occurred and are occurring all the time, which go strangely undocumented.

    As a business major, perhaps he knows there is a lucrative market in selling books about supernatural events to a gullible section of the public, along with speaking engagements etc. Maybe he’s taking the first steps on his career path with this article in a student newspaper.

  4. Ed says: “Oh, and we know that there’s a god because of all the supernatural events that have occurred and are occurring all the time, which go strangely undocumented.”

    Undocumented? What about the image of a crock-o-duck which miraculously appeared on my pizza yesterday? Did that happen by chance? Huh? Well, now it’s documented!

  5. invertebratecounselor

    duckpizza.com/duck-pizza-menu.htm

  6. Business Major attests, “And supernatural phenomena are actually fairly commonplace. I’ve witnessed them numerous times and been a party to them numerous times.”

    Perhaps he believes the phenomena he has witnessed is supernatural because he doesn’t have much knowledge of science, and therefore doesn’t understand what he has seen. After all, our ancestors once believed that fire, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, comets, meteor showers, solar and lunar eclipses, etc. were all supernatural because they lacked the knowledge to explain them.

    If we can judge Business Major’s intellect from the content of his letter, I’d say this is the case. He assumes God exists because there are phenomena that he cannot explain.

    Too bad he didn’t write about the phenomena that he doesn’t understand. It would have been a much more interesting letter.

  7. Duckpizza?

    Well, that’s at least a start. Now we just need to wait 6,000 years and watch for the transitional species.

  8. retiredsciguy, I donno why your comments got hung up in the filter. I was away for a while or I would have let this through earlier. I trashed the duplicates. Sorry for the inconvenience.

  9. Thanks, SC. Thinking it might have been the word “assumes” that caused the problem, I was just getting set to modify like so: “@$$umes”. Filters can act strangely sometimes.

  10. That not it, retiredsciguy. If it were, what you just said would have been a problem.

  11. Ceteris Paribus

    Actually the Business Major does have a point to make. After all, it was the business majors, and not science majors, who came up with the knowledge that an entire world economy could be built on the basis that untold trillions of dollars of debt could be simply loaned into existence by the bank gods, without even a mere trace of something physical, such as gold, to back it up.

    Next on the list of finders of miracles would have to be the law school majors, who grew up and became the judges that discovered the previously unknown and holy part of the US constitution which proves that corporations, even international corporations, are people too.

  12. I don’t remember how I came across your site a few weeks back, but am certainly glad I did. Thanks for fighting the good fight, one and all.

    A story: Yesterday, I opened the passenger side door of my car while looking for something. I left it open and walked to the other side of the car to continue my search. When I climbed into the driver’s side, wonder of wonders, the passenger side door slammed shut! I thought it was the wind, or the slope of the driveway, or perhaps both. But now I understand. Arbitrarily ignore the existence of the God of my 2008 Hyundai Elantra at your own risk.

    A question: have I been party to, or merely witness of, a supernatural event? I’ll take your word for it.

  13. The original article currently has 26 comments, including a bit of eloquence by William Hamby as well as a link to a response at crocoduck.com

    http://www.crocoduck.com/2013/02/18/creationism-has-merit/

    The Business Major has been seriously demoted to Private.

  14. “A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Well, if you can believe in God with this evidence, you can believe creationism on the same amount of evidence.

  15. If buisness doesn’t work out for him he can always sell used cars.

  16. Saying that you have witnessed a “supernatural phenomenon” is a lot like saying that you’ve seen a UFO. I have seen plenty of UFOs. Literally, a UFO is an Unifendtified Flying Object — something you can see but cannot identify. I’ve seen birds fly by, but they were too far away or going too fast for me to identify by species. Was it a crow or a woodpecker? Dunno — unidentified. I’ve seen flashing red ligths in the sky… military jet, commercial airliner, or private airplane? Dunno — unidentified. By the same token, I’ve witnessed various penomenona that I could not completely explain. I once had a cat that disappeared for 30 days and then returned home. Supernatural phenomenon? I have no evidence of how he stayed alive for a month, and can only theorize that he relied on his ability to hunt. Either that, or perhaps he was abducted and cared for aboard a UFO :-)
    Oogity boogity.