Herman Cummings Reveals the Truth

Our old friend, Herman Cummings, has an article published in the Baltimore Post-Examiner. No, it’s not one of the newspapers where H. L. Mencken worked. Rather, it’s sort of a blog run by a few journalists. Nevertheless, it’s a big step toward respectability for Herman.

As you know, Herman describes himself as “the leading expert on the book of Genesis.” He’s the author (using the pen-name “Ephriam”) of Moses Didn’t Write About Creation! We have diligently reported on his long struggle for recognition (those posts are in our list of Self-Published Geniuses), including the numerous intellectual challenges he’s issued — all of which have been ignored. Yet he perseveres.

Herman’s latest article is Genesis Truth: Creationism is a misrepresentation; science is insane!. What’s notable about it, besides the new publishing venue, is that he reveals more about his understanding of Genesis than we’ve seen before. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

I get tired of reading where people are talking about teaching creationism. They don’t know what Biblical creation is. Yet they speak in ignorance, mostly saying that they don’t think that creationism should be taught in public (science class) schools. At least with that I partly agree. Because there is no one, anywhere, in any school system, that is qualified to teach Biblical creation.

Only Herman is qualified. After a few paragraphs in which he criticizes young-Earth creationism, he says:

Adam was formed in about 7200 BC. The modern animals, along with the birds, were made in about 7100 BC, and Eve came along in about 7000 BC. I’m guessing that the animals lived in and out of the Garden, and Adam probably took Eve out on sight-seeing trips to lands surrounding the Garden. They did this for 2,733 years…, until they ate of the evil tree. It is then that the years of Adam’s age begins to be counted, because that is when he “began to die”. So from 7200 BC, till 3337 BC, when Adam died, Adam had lived for 3,863 years. [Elipisis in the original.]

You never knew that before? That’s because only Herman knows the truth. Let’s read on:

The reason the sequence of events in Genesis chapter one, do not agree with those in Genesis chapter two, is because Moses was writing about two different time periods. So actually, Genesis is declaring the existence of pre-historic man, which lived more than 60 million years before God made Adam and Eve. The world of science won’t admit to mankind being on Earth any earlier than 10 million years ago…, which shows how misinformed they are. Or is it that they are in denial?

Pay attention, dear reader. You won’t learn this stuff anywhere else. In his article, Herman provides a great deal of information that is new to us, but we can’t copy it all. Ah, he says this:

Genesis is a much more scientific book than mankind is generally aware of, and it takes specific training to learn what it is revealing to modern mankind.

He continues with this lamentable account of his long struggle:

All of this would be common knowledge, but for 19 years, over 9000 churches, 3600 colleges, 350 school boards, and Gov. Jindal, have refused to view the presentation called the “Observations of Moses.” It seems like much of the Clergy would rather support evolution, such as the “Clergy Letter Project”. Louisiana could have lead the nation in teaching the truth, but they all chose to remain in, and teach, ignorance, from the Governor on down to every local school board, and high school…, I wrote them all; they which had a website. [Ellipsis in the original.]

Herman has traveled a long and lonely road, but with his new article, perhaps he’s beginning to get the recognition he deserves. Here’s more:

Now, let us talk about the world of science. They are insane, because they would rather lie to the public, than to admit that there is a creator. Yes, they lie, and they know it, because they have been withholding evidence from the public in order to not have to explain certain “phenomena”.

And what are those inexplicable phenomena? Herman tells us:

Why is it that science has not explained where “matter” came from? Why is it that science will come up with ridiculous theories in order to not admit that there is a creator? A case in point is the origin of our Moon. They know that it was not “captured”, and that it is of a different composition than that of the earth. So where did it come from? To explain this, they come up with a joke called the “impact theory”. If that be the case, how did Jupiter get its 64+ moons? More collisions?

You can’t answer, can you, dear reader? But Herman’s not done yet:

Science refuses to come clean about comets, especially Shoemaker-Levy 9. They know good and well that comet was never “captured” by Jupiter. Captures of comets and satellites never occur, because their paths (orbits) obey the command of God.

[...]

Our planets are not really just orbiting the sun. The sun is actually following the planets, as they spiral around the sun, as they all orbit the center point of our galaxy, the Milky Way, as the galaxy spirals around the center point of our “local group” of about ten galaxies. All of the stars (suns) that you see in our galaxy are moving with the rotation of our galaxy.

Impressive, isn’t it? There’s a bit more, and then it ends with Herman’s recommendation that you view his PowerPoint presentation. We know you’ll want to click on our link to the Baltimore Post-Examiner so you can read the entire article.

The more Herman reveals about his stunning insights, the more impressed we become. He is truly a treasure. Stay the course, Herman!

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Herman Cummings Reveals the Truth

  1. I think my head just exploded. When someone is too way out for the creationists you know you just entered the Twilight Zone. Where’s Rod Serling when you need him?

  2. I’d actually pay money to see Herman Cummings debate Ken Ham. Especially if it were refereed by Casey Luskin. What a hoot!

  3. Was it Douglas Adams who said “mostly harmless”? Clearly Cummins dearly believes he has some unique insights on the Bible and science alike. In fact he would get a face-palm from evangelicals AND scientists. The former would call him a heretic for saying that Adam lived to be 3,863 years old, when the Good Book so very clearly states that Adam checked out at the tender age of 930.

  4. anevilmeme

    Mad as a Hatter, yet I’d sit down and have a few beers with him, anyone that detached from reality is going to have some great stories.

  5. And our dear friend Herman knows all of this how exactly? Oh, right, he pulled it completely out of his ass. Herman must be a hell of a masochist to keep constantly forcing his hand deeper and deeper into his asshole to find these nuggets of his.

  6. Biokid: “Where’s Rod Serling when you need him?”

    He has been “busy” since 1975. But Herman’s “theory” probably predicts a 2nd “Cummings.”

  7. I would really like to say that finding these guys must really be hard work, but my sinking feeling is that finding these totally deluded and completely uneducated fools is way too easy. Things like this could convince me to wear an aluminium hat to protect my little brain from the evil mental radiation coming from these guys.

  8. Reminds me of this guy in high school who had a love affair with the goddess Diana via Ouija board. It made perfect sense in his own head but any rational person would have dismissed it as a bit loony.

  9. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    “Because there is no one, anywhere, in any school system, that is qualified to teach Biblical creation.”

    Herman Cummings ~ the leading expert on the book of Genesis.

    There is no teacher on Earth qualified to teach Nature’s Harmonic Simultaneous 4-Day Rotating Time Cube Creation Principle, and therefore, there is no teacher on Earth worthy of being called a certified teacher.

    Gene Ray ~ the leading expert on the Time Cube

  10. @Rikki_Tikki_Taalik: Great connection! Could they both actually be the same man? I hope so — hate to think there are two people so deranged in this world.

  11. Garnetstar

    I’m more impressed by whoever faked the Shoemaker-Levy impact. That was one mighty convincing performance.

    It took a truly penetrating intellect to discern the truth of that. Thanks, Herman!

  12. If David Copperfield could make the Statue of Liberty disappear with a fake radar screen, maybe he could fake those giant impact plumes in the atmosphere of Jupiter as well. http://www2.jpl.nasa.gov/sl9/gif/hst15.gif

  13. @Garnetstar: Right — I didn’t know what to make of Herman’s Shoemaker-Levy 9 comment. Maybe he thinks NASA photoshopped the impact plumes. If so, there are hundreds of thousands of amateur astronomers who saw the plumes first-hand, myself included, who can readily dispute that notion. Many of us have our own photos as evidence as well. It would be truly remarkable if we all photoshopped the dark blobs in exactly the same way.

    Herman is deranged. That’s all there is to it. If I knew the man personally, I would distance myself from him.