“Toilet” + “Camera” = Off Topic Item

This is an embarrassing post, but we can’t resist. You know about our strange series of prior posts about the hypothesized link between bathroom voyeurism and creationism. The most recent was Creationist Voyeurism: Case #6.

Well, dear reader, in our ceaseless effort to find more data, we conducted another search and stumbled upon this news story at the website of an NBC station in South Florida: Woman Throws Roll of Toilet Paper at Camera After Broward Judge’s Bond Decision. It’s obviously not on point, but look at the lead paragraph:

A woman who was recently convicted of stealing a banana showed her displeasure with a Broward judge’s bond decision by grabbing a roll of toilet paper and throwing it at the camera.

We can’t blame Google; the story has the words we were searching for. Yes, we know this isn’t related to anything we’ve ever written about, but it’s just too good to ignore. So here are a few more excerpts. All the bold font was added by us:

Gerhonda Snell, 24, appeared remotely before Broward Circuit Judge John Hurley on Tuesday. … She and Hurley argued about her criminal history, which the judge said includes six convictions for stealing.

But what about the banana? Let’s read on:

A prosecutor listed her previous court cases, including for a felony petty theft on Jan. 8 in Miami Shores. “Sir, that Miami Shores one, I didn’t do that,” Snell said. “He thought I stole a banana, and I had to do three months. I just got out for a banana in Dade County.” She then confirmed that she was convicted of the crime – but also maintained that she hadn’t stolen the banana.

She was convicted, but she she still maintains her innocence. Anyway, she wasn’t in court this time because of the banana — it was just part of her prior record. The news story continues:

After saying that he didn’t care about a banana, the judge told Snell, “You are 24 years old. You’ve been convicted of stealing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 times plus the sixth time was a felony. Now you’re here again, allegedly stealing again now in Broward.”

What did the defendant say to that? Here you go:

“But I just did three months in Dade County for stealing,” Snell responded. “I just did the three months, and they closed everything out.”

Good defense, huh? Moving along:

Hurley said that didn’t mean she can keep stealing. “Yeah, but I didn’t mean to,” Snell said.

“Oh, you didn’t mean to steal – and I guess those other six times you didn’t mean to steal either, right?” Hurley said. They argued a bit more before Hurley told her, “Your bond’s going to remain where it is. Thank you.”

What happened then? This comes from the middle of the story, but it belongs here at the end:

When Hurley concluded that her bond would remain where it is, Snell reacted by pushing something off the stand in front of her. She briefly walked away, then returned, grabbed a roll of toilet paper from beneath the stand, and threw it at the camera.

We also found a video of the event. It’s only two minutes long. If you’ve read this far, you’ll want to see it. Go ahead, we know you can’t resist. After that, feel free to use the comments for an Intellectual Free-Fire Zone.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Mayan Mound Demolished — So What?

This is way off topic, but we can’t resist. At PhysOrg we read Builders bulldoze big Mayan pyramid in Belize. (For the geographically challenged, Belize was formerly known as British Honduras.)

You’ll need to read the whole thing to evaluate the situation for yourself, but here comes the Curmudgeonly view of things, with bold font added by us:

A construction company has essentially destroyed one of Belize’s largest Mayan pyramids with backhoes and bulldozers to extract crushed rock for a road-building project, authorities announced on Monday.

Sounds horrible, right? They make it seem as if somebody blew up the Pyramids in Egypt or some magnificent cathedral in Europe. To add to that impression, the story says:

The head of the Belize Institute of Archaeology, Jaime Awe, said the destruction at the Nohmul complex in northern Belize was detected late last week. The ceremonial center dates back at least 2,300 years and is the most important site in northern Belize, near the border with Mexico. “It’s a feeling of Incredible disbelief because of the ignorance and the insensitivity … they were using this for road fill,” Awe said. “It’s like being punched in the stomach, it’s just so horrendous.”

Oh woe, says the wonderfully named Mr. Awe. It was “the most important site in northern Belize,” and now it’s just road fill. But there’s more to the story. For example:

Nohmul [the name of the site] sat in the middle of a privately owned sugar cane field …

This is our first point — the thing was private property. If the government or universities felt that it was so precious, why didn’t they buy the property? Or how about this — if the thing was all that wonderful, why wasn’t the land owner using it as a tourist attraction? Perhaps there’s a reason why the property was being used for growing sugar cane. Here’s another interesting point:

It is not the first time it’s happened in Belize, a country of about 350,000 people that is largely covered in jungle and dotted with hundreds of Mayan ruin sites, though few as large as Nohmul.

Ah, slowly the whole story emerges. There are hundreds of these things, and this isn’t the first one that’s been demolished. And how about this:

Norman Hammond, an emeritus professor of archaeology at Boston University who worked in Belizean research projects in the 1980s, wrote in an email that “bulldozing Maya mounds for road fill is an endemic problem in Belize … .”

It seems that this stuff happens all the time. Not only that, but:

Belize isn’t the only place where the handiwork of the far-flung and enormously prolific Maya builders is being destroyed. The ancient Mayas spread across southeastern Mexico and through Guatemala, Honduras and Belize.

So what should be done — block off almost all of Central America from development? Some people think so, and that’s what caused us to write this post today. Check this out:

“I don’t think I am exaggerating if I say that every day a Maya mound is being destroyed for construction in one of the countries where the Maya lived,” wrote Francisco Estrada-Belli, a professor at Tulane University’s Anthropology Department. “Unfortunately, this destruction of our heritage is irreversible but many don’t take it seriously,” he added. “The only way to stop it is by showing that it is a major crime and people can and will go to jail for it.”

Major crime? We think that’s just plain crazy. We must be brutally candid here: Mayan mounds are not our heritage. They’re of archeological interest, but there are loads of them, and we’ve heard nothing to suggest that this one was unique. Even the people who live in that region don’t seem to care much about them.

But don’t imagine that your Curmudgeon is a barbarian. We don’t want anyone destroying the Parthenon, or the Colosseum, or any other icon of our classical Greek and Roman heritage. We don’t want those exotic statues (moai) on Easter Island destroyed either. But a few unremarkable Mayan mounds in a poor region that needs the stones for road-building? If the locals don’t care, why should we?

What should those poor people in Belize do — stay poor and live without roads? Or maybe the road-building companies should fly in cargo planes loaded with rocks to be used for road fill? Who will pay the cost of that — the poor people of the region?

So with all due respect for the professors of anthropology and others who think as they do, we say this: If you care so much for those mounds, then raise the money to buy them.

Yes, you heard us correctly. Go buy the land those mounds are sitting on, and then you can decide what happens to them. That’s what private ownership is all about. Then you’ll be in the same position as the sugar cane farmer who apparently wasn’t concerned about the mound on his land.

Or — if the thought of private ownership is abhorrent to you — then raise money to provide the road-builders with material that is otherwise not locally available. If you do that, then no one will need to bulldoze the mounds. Yes — a “Belize Airlift” — that has a certain ring to it.

But wait — an airlift to bring in rocks means a lot of planes carrying very heavy cargo. That’s a big carbon footprint, and we all know how fragile the planet’s climate is these days. Decisions, decisions. But if the Tulane professor is ready to decide things like tossing people into prison, surely he’s qualified to resolve the “climate vs. heritage” issue.

Hey, professor, we mean no disrespect to you or to what you say is your Mayan cultural heritage, but if those mounds really mean so much to you, then put up or shut up.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Lost Weekend — Free Fire Zone

Okay, dear reader, here’s what you’ve been waiting for — a news-free weekend Intellectual Free Fire Zone.

Leading off, the first video is a two-minute quickie featuring Bill Nye, who is interviewed by John Stossel on Fox Business. After that bit of rationality, we have some counterpoint for you, with the delightful title of “Easy Math Problem for Atheist and Evotards.” There are no voices in that video, just some unnecessary music, so you may want to turn the volume down. Go ahead, check it out. It’s only 90 seconds long:

So there you are. Now go ahead and use the comments for any topic that interests you (science, politics, philosophy, etc.) but you gotta play by the rules and avoid the profanity filters. Go to it.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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Curmudgeon Abducted by Aliens!

This is a tale you may find difficult to believe, dear reader. But we wouldn’t try to fool you about so important a subject, would we?

Last night, shortly after midnight, in that magic moment when the old month gives way to the new, a dazzlingly bright light appeared outside and — to our astonishment — a saucer-shaped spacecraft silently landed in our back yard. Fearlessly, your Curmudgeon went out to greet the visitors from another world. But as we approached the vessel, everything suddenly went blank.

When we awoke we were strapped to a table surrounded by little gray creatures with large, luminous eyes. Then, as best we can remember, the following dialogue took place, with the alien’s disembodied voice shown in blue font:

Let the probing begin!

No! I don’t want to be probed!

It must be done, said the voice. This is how we communicate.

But you haven’t probed me yet. How are we communicating?

With difficulty. Sound is much too primitive for us. Our way is better.

Oh yeah? Well communicate with someone else. Lemme outta here!

We’ve been reading your blog. We want you to be our ambassador to Earth.

No thanks, not if I have to be probed. Maybe you should select a creationist. They won’t object to your probing.

No creationists! If you don’t accept this great honor, there will be no one on Earth to speak for us, and we must quarantine your planet.

That’s the choice you’re giving me? Be probed or be isolated?

That’s it, Earth man. That’s the deal.

Very well then. On behalf of the Earth, I accept the quarantine.

As you wish … .

Everything went blank again, and when we woke up it was dawn. We were lying in the grass with the dogs standing over us, wondering what had happened. The alien craft was gone, and no — there was no crop circle burned into the lawn. It was as if the encounter never happened.

And so, dear reader, that’s what your Curmudgeon experienced late last night. You believe us, don’t you? You must believe us! On this date, 01 April 2013, we have solved the Fermi paradox. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that we caused the paradox. That’s okay, we’re better off going it alone.

Copyright © 2013. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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