Creationists and the Dilemma of Bacteria

SURELY YOU know something about Bacteria, those ubiquitous, single-celled little fellows that seem to be everywhere, including all over us and within us as well. As that linked Wikipedia article informs us:

There are typically 40 million bacterial cells in a gram of soil and a million bacterial cells in a millilitre of fresh water; in all, there are approximately five nonillion (5×1030) bacteria on Earth, forming much of the world’s biomass.

[…]

There are approximately ten times as many bacterial cells as human cells in the human body, with large numbers of bacteria on the skin and in the digestive tract. Although the vast majority of these bacteria are rendered harmless by the protective effects of the immune system, and a few are beneficial, some are pathogenic bacteria and cause infectious diseases, including cholera, syphilis, anthrax, leprosy and bubonic plague.

Syphilis, leprosy … hey, that’s life! But your casual attitude is because you’re an evolutionist. Creationists are better thinkers than you are, and where you simply shrug, they probe for deeper meanings.

The problem with bacteria isn’t merely that they’re not mentioned in scripture, but they’re sometimes nasty, which is difficult to understand in what is said to be a benevolent universe specially created for our own species. So how do creationists deal with this?

Your Curmudgeon has found some answers at the highly esteemed creationist website of the Institute for Creation Research (ICR). They have not one, but two recent articles on this very vexing subject. The first is: Where Did Flesh-eating Bacteria Come From? Excerpts, with bold added by us:

Flesh-eating zombies may be the work of science fiction horror, but necrotizing soft tissue infection — a severe type of infection that destroys tissue — is a real condition that can kill about 30 percent of those infected and disfigure the rest.

Such tissue infections are rare and involve bacteria growing inside the body and often deep under the skin. They are difficult to diagnose because many cases show little outward signs. These infections progress rapidly, so quick intervention is important in increasing the patient’s chances for survival.

Okay, now they ask the crucial question:

How can flesh-eating bacteria exist in a creation once deemed good by its Creator?

We’ll skip the middle of the ICR article and get right to their thrilling conclusion:

While it is not yet known what best explains the presence of flesh-eating bacteria, current scientific observation is consistent with the fall of creation, as recorded in Genesis.

Surely you saw that one coming.

But wait, there’s more! We told you we found two articles at ICR. The second one is: Why Did Life Evolve Beyond Bacteria? This one probes a big question, one that staggers the “evolutionists” and leaves them speechless.

They start out by mentioning Harvard geochemistry professor Charles Langmuir’s dire predictions regarding human activities and how we may destroy most of the life on our planet — except for microscopic life. Then the ICR author zooms right in on what this implies:

But if microbes are so good at surviving, and if increased survivability is what drives evolution, then why did life evolve upwards from microbes? If the main driving force behind Darwinian evolution — fitness — is removed from the equation, then what remains to drive it?

Hah! Gotcha! You never saw that flaw in the theory of evolution, did you? If bacteria are such superior survivors, then why did anything else evolve! Our heads reeling, we read on:

The obvious, but to many unacceptable, answer is that since bacteria are earth’s superior survivors, they should be all the life this planet has ever seen. … And yet the earth is populated by a variety of living things, including humans, who are supposedly the most evolved species.

We’ve been such fools! How could we have missed this? Let’s get right to the article’s conclusion:

In his lecture, Langmuir described a series of “evolutionary steps” through which life evolved from initially toxic conditions. There is no place in Scripture, plainly read, for a vast age of anoxic bacteria, then one of aerobic bacteria. Fortunately for scriptural history, there is also no geologic evidence for any time on earth when oxygen was not present, and there is certainly no biological evidence that indicates anything other than life having been created from Life.

So there’s your answer. Evolution from single-celled creatures never happened, and the “problem” of how we evolved in competition with such formidable survivors as bacteria is neatly answered, We were created!

Now you know.

Copyright © 2008. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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4 responses to “Creationists and the Dilemma of Bacteria

  1. mightyfrijoles

    There’s a Dilemma of Bacteria???

    Why didn’t someone tell me. Why am I the last to know anything?

    Well, when all the Creationists have croaked and the bacteria have eaten them, no one will worry.

    BTW, Curmy. If Man evolved from monkeys, then why are there still monkeys?

    Hah, bet you never heard of the Dilemma of Monkeys, didja?

  2. “Hah, bet you never heard of the Dilemma of Monkeys, didja?”

    Nope. That’s a new one. Deeply troubling.

  3. New Creationoid Challenge for Evilootionists:

    “If Man evolved from monkeys, why are there still bacteria?”

    😉

  4. Ah yes, the E. coli challenge.