Creationist Wisdom — Example 26

WE PRESENT to you, dear reader, a letter to the editor titled Creationism is alive and well , which appears in the Worthington Daily Globe, of Worthington, Minnesota, population 11,283 in the 2000 census.

We usually leave off the author’s name, but in this case the author has popped up on your Curmudgeon’s radar before. It’s Mike Bogle, who was mentioned in one of our earlier posts: Creationist Wisdom — Example Nineteen.

In that former post, as in this latest offering, Bogle raves about the dinosaur and human footprints allegedly found together at the Paluxy River near Glen Rose, Texas. We’ll omit his current references to that “evidence.” You won’t miss them, because what makes Mr. Bogle so entertaining — unlike all other creationists — is that he keeps coming up with arguments we haven’t seen before. Not all of his arguments are original, of course, but stay with us. You won’t be disappointed.

Here we go. The bold font was added by us:

In every area of scientific endeavor, creationism is becoming even more credible. Even Fred Hoyle (who is no Christian) has said that spontaneous generation of life is the equivalent of believing in magic.

Not only is Fred Hoyle no Christian, he’s no anything, because he’s no longer among the living. Nor, while alive, was he a biologist. Rather, he was an astronomer who also wrote some decent science fiction. His work was sufficiently outstanding to win him several honors, including a knighthood. Alas, he somehow ended up a bit of a panspermia kook. Anyway, although the “spontaneous generation of life” is not a feature of Darwin’s theory of evolution, Sir Fred Hoyle continues to be a hero to creationists everywhere.

Let’s read on:

Jack Cuozzo, a many-degreed orthodontist, has studied Neanderthal skulls worldwide and found that not one lower jaw was properly placed in its socket. Every “honest” paleontologist had manipulated the jaw to make them appear ape-like.

We like that paragraph for several reasons. First, we learn about and marvel at yet another creationist dentist. Second, we’ve never before seen even the craziest creationist claim that every single pre-human fossil was fraudulent. Finally, it left us wondering — Who is Jack Cuozzo? Check out that Wikipedia article; it will confirm your suspicions that it’s a strange world out there.

We continue:

As usual, when scientists manage to climb Mount Truth, they always meet a band of theologians on top eating lunch wearing “been there, done that” t-shirts. There are different routes up a mountain, but the summit is the same for everybody.

Yeah, right. Here’s more:

In 1492, Columbus sailed across the ocean in a sophisticated vessel using a sextant for navigation and gunpowder for negotiations. He encountered a fully “evolved” intelligent race of people living in the stone age. How can evolution explain that?

See there? We told you this Bogle guy had some original arguments. Admit it — you’ve never seen that one before.

Okay, here’s the end of his letter:

History shows that technology did not flourish until after the Reformation, when the common man got the Bible. It has nothing to do with evolution.

It would be fun to play with that one, but time is short, so we’ll leave it as an exercise for you, dear reader. You gotta admit, this Bogle guy makes creationism interesting.

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Creationist Wisdom — Example 26

  1. John Phillips, FCD

    There’s only one thing to say to that pile of $%*#.

    Snigger!

  2. “History shows that technology did not flourish until after the Reformation, when the common man got the Bible”

    Buurrnnz!

  3. This guy has a seriously good comedy act, he certainly understands the best way to lampoon creationists.

    I wonder if he wears a clown suit during his shows?

  4. retiredsciguy

    It’s stunningly ironic that Fred Hoyle should be the darling of the creationists. In cosmology, he was best-known for his Steady-State Theory of the universe, which holds that the expanding universe has always existed and has been creating new matter all along in order to maintain a steady state of density. In other words, no act of creation, Big Bang or otherwise.
    Since he first proposed his theory (more of a hypothesis, actually), all the evidence has come in supporting Big Bang, not Steady-State. On top of that, wasn’t Hoyle an avowed atheist? If he were alive today he’d probably be suing the creationists for defamation of character the way they are using his name to promote their ideology.

    Moreover, so what if Hoyle said spontaneous generation of life is the equivalent of believing in magic. How is that different from what the creationists are promoting?

    And Bogle’s last paragraph,
    “History shows that technology did not flourish until after the Reformation, when the common man got the Bible. It has nothing to do with evolution.”, is truly mind-Bogling, on so many levels. What does technology have to do with evolution, or vice-versa? Actually, it was technology that put the Bible in the hands of the common man, not the Reformation. It was all about Gutenberg, not Martin Luther, but one cannot begin to imagine how Bogle is confusing this with evolution.

    Oy vey!

  5. Tundra Boy says: “This guy has a seriously good comedy act, he certainly understands the best way to lampoon creationists.”

    Sorry, but Poe’s Law governs. You can’t make a parody of a creationist, no mater how extreme, because some creationist, somewhere, is making the same claims in all sincerity.

  6. retiredsciguy

    b_sharp posted his comments while I was composing mine. I didn’t look at it that way at first, but I think he’s got a good point. Parody seems to be the most logical explanation of Bogle’s writing.

  7. retiredsciguy

    Curmy and Tundra Boy:
    You’re both right.

  8. retiredsciguy says: “Oy vey!”

    You’re both wrong. Technology didn’t really get going until Thomas Crapper invented the flush toilet. This had nothing to do with the Reformation or Guttenberg.

  9. I thought it was when god made man able to [relieve himself] standing up? I think that is great technology.

  10. Tundra Boy says: “I think that is great technology.”

    Perhaps that’s because it’s the only technology you’ve been able to learn.

  11. Well, I can write my name in the snow.

  12. Tundra Boy says: “Well, I can write my name in the snow.”

    I can eat 50 eggs.

  13. I’m a bit late, but…
    “Every “honest” paleontologist had manipulated the jaw to make them appear ape-like.”
    Neandertal gorilla skull (on the right. Orangutan on the left). Not ape-like at all.

    “As usual, when scientists manage to climb Mount Truth, they always meet a band of theologians on top eating lunch wearing “been there, done that” t-shirts. There are different routes up a mountain, but the summit is the same for everybody.”
    So much for Jesus being the path to God, eh?