Creationist Wisdom — Example 38

THIS is another episode of the continuing soap-opera from Louisiana. You can catch up on the last episode here: Louisiana Creationism: Battling Letters to the Editor.

So let’s all turn on the ol’ tube, fiip to the Advocate channel, and thrill to another day’s adventure involving our favorite characters as they battle over the Louisiana Science Education Act (LSEA).

You know the story line. Opposing Louisiana’s anti-science, anti-evolution, pro-creationism legislation is Dr. Barbara Forrest, a star witness for the winning side in Kitzmiller v. Dover Area School District. Opposing her is one of the principal architects of this creationist legislation — Rev. Gene Mills, executive director of the Louisiana Family Forum (LFF). There is also Governor Bobby Jindal, also known as the Exorcist, perhaps the world’s only creationist who was a biology major at Brown University. He signed the creationist law, but he’s been staying in the background lately.

If you’re truly addicted to the show, there was a recent letter here, but it was so rational that we didn’t write about it. Today’s letter-to-the-editor, however, is most entertaining. It appears in the Advocate, and it’s titled: Creationism, evolution both religion.

As is our custom, your Curmudgeon will politely insert this subtle signal [Aaaargh!!] after each howler so that we don’t interrupt the letter-writer’s learned discourse. We may apply some bold font for emphasis, and we’ll also be adding Curmudgeonly commentary in between the excerpted paragraphs. We’ll copy the letter in its entirely, omitting only the name and city of its author. Here we go:

I write in response to Barbara Forrest’s attack on the Louisiana Academic Freedom Act (“Mills, Jindal craft public policy,” letter to the editor, March 24).

You can find that letter here, but we’ve already mentioned it in our previous post. Let’s read on:

Despite the fact that Dr. Forrest only has a doctorate in philosophy, she has positioned herself as an expert on creation vs. evolution.

Perhaps that is uppity behavior for someone who “only has a doctorate in philosophy.” On the other hand, today’s letter-writer describes himself at the end as a “retired lineman,” so draw your own conclusions. We continue:

Dr. Forrest seems to embody a condescending skepticism toward Christianity and extends that condescension to the theory [Aaaargh!!] of creationism. However, Dr. Forrest seems to hold no skepticism toward the theory of evolution. [Aaaargh!!]

We haven’t detected any Christian-bashing by Dr. Forrest. However, if one equates primitive creationism with Christianity, he might see things differently. Here’s more:

Dr. Forrest does not seem to realize that creationism and evolution are both theories [Aaaargh!!] that attempt to explain a singular incident (the origin of life) [Aaaargh!!] that can never be repeated and can never be directly observed.

Once again, dear reader, we have an evolution opponent who knows nothing about the theory he opposes, nor does he even know what a scientific theory is. Moving along:

Both theories are unprovable and untestable. Both require faith. [Aaaargh!!] Both theories can be deemed as religion [Aaaargh!!], and certainly neither is true science. [Aaaargh!!]

Ah yes — the old “reason requires faith” nonsense. Building on that fantastically ignorant notion, the letter-writer says:

If we want no religion to be taught in science curricula, then neither of these theories should be taught. [Aaaargh!!]

Powerful stuff, huh? On with the letter:

The arrogance of some so-called scientists to regard evolution as more than a theory [Aaaargh!!] is only matched by the lack of a healthy skepticism toward evolution, which people such as Dr. Forrest seem to exhibit. [Aaaargh!!]

And now we come to the end, and here the letter-writer issues some kind of challenge:

What about it? Can Dr. Forrest certify evolution and creation as both being religion?

[Writer’s name and city can be seen in the original.]

Okay, those are the views of the lineman. As this episode closes, we hear in the background a few lines from the old Glen Campbell song, Lineman For The County: “I know I need a small vacation. But it don’t look like rain …”

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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3 responses to “Creationist Wisdom — Example 38

  1. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; sometimes I think newspaper editorial staff intentionally select the wackiest letters to publish as a subtle tongue-in-cheek joke on the rest of us.

  2. eric says: “… sometimes I think newspaper editorial staff intentionally select the wackiest letters …”

    I donno, but this stuff keeps me going on slow news days.

  3. Thanks for the link to the letter that “was so rational that we didn’t write about it”. Louisiana (and many other states) need more people like Brian Warren.