Ronda Storms, Ronda Storms

\"I believe\" tag

As you know, your Curmudgeon is headquartered in the secret underground control room of the CITADEL, the Curmudgeonly Institute for Tactics, Advocacy, and Defense of the Enlightenment Legacy — the global nerve center for monitoring events throughout the Creosphere which threaten the values of Western Civilization.

We keep a vigilant watch on everyone’s favorite Florida creationist, Senator Ronda Storms. Here is a brief selection from Ronda’s dossier, which is part of our extensive archives:

Last year we named Ronda the Creationist Queen of the Florida Senate for her fanatical zeal in sponsoring one of those anti-science, anti-evolution, pro-creationism bills modeled after the misleadingly-named Academic Freedom Act, promoted by the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute’s Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids).

Then she promoted a Godly License Plate Bill, with a cross and “I Believe” on it. The bill failed, but we wisely preserved an image of the proposed plate. It now adorns this post. This is like saving your old neckties. Every now and then, one of them comes back into style.

Ronda reclaimed our attention this year by declaring war against the Dewey Decimal System. See: Florida’s Ronda Storms: Much More Than Creationism. That inspired us to write The Brain of Ronda Storms.

But there was more. Ronda’s next legislative initiative required us to write Ronda Storms Wants Prayer in School, in which we said that Ronda is is a one-woman Constitutional wreaking crew. It turned out to be another bill that went nowhere.

Well, she’s back again. This time Ronda shows us that not only is her mind infinitely creative, but it’s also equipped with a recall feature. She’s recycling an oldie goldie, one of our favorites from last year.

In the Miami Herald we read Florida would issue a license plate with the image of Jesus and another with a cross if lawmakers pass a bill now in the Legislature. Here are some excerpts:

If you want Jesus on your license plate, the Florida Senate is looking out for you.

Religious specialty plates offered by Sen. Ronda Storms, R-Valrico, and Sen. Gary Siplin, D-Orlando, made it onto a bill Friday even though many members had not seen images of those plates and none were produced for the debate.

Siplin didn’t mince words when asked what his ”Trinity” plate looks like, saying: “It has a picture of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

Siplin … another genius to watch. Addendum: According to Wikipedia, Gary Siplin “is the first convicted felon to serve in the Florida Legislature, and sponsored legislation that would restore voting rights to himself and other convicted felons.”

Let’s read on:

Storms’ ”I Believe” plate would benefit Faith in Teaching, an Orlando company that funds faith-based programs at schools. The design features a cross over a stained-glass window.

Sometimes things move quickly in Tallahassee. The article continues:

Before the day was over, the Anti-Defamation League and the ACLU registered opposition, and across the hall in the House, proposals for the same plates were withdrawn from legislation.

There’s another story on this in the St. Petersburg Times: Of God, the devil and license plates. It has an image of the proposed Jesus license plate. Here’s one excerpt:

Before it was all over, you had Sen. Larcenia Bullard, D-Miami, invoking the devil to make her point: “What if someone comes next year and decides to vote on something that has the devil on it, and horns, horns on each side. I know that people are called the devil, but if the symbol of a devil is on it, I would not vote for that.”

Blessed with leadership like this, Floridians can be assured that their state is in good hands.

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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6 responses to “Ronda Storms, Ronda Storms

  1. Siplin didn’t mince words when asked what his ”Trinity” plate looks like, saying: “It has a picture of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

    Ahh, yes, let’s hope this is an historically accurate contemporary portrait of Yeshua ben Yosef, complete with blonde hair, blue eyes, Roman nose &c. &c. — you know the sort of portrait, like

  2. And riding a dinosaur, of course.

  3. Demand equal opportunity in license plates! — we want a plate featuring the “Flying Spaghetti Monster” or we’ll sue!

  4. I’ve made the perfect Fla license plate…here

  5. I added a bit to the original post, to mention that Gary Siplin — the guy with the Jesus plate, is a convicted felon, the first to serve in the Florida Legislature. Not that there’s anything wrong with that …

  6. @HoleyHands – Bwahahaha… 🙂
    Thank you, I needed that!