ALL the state political battles over evolution and creationism, which unfortunately degenerate into partisan struggles, remind us of “The Lady or the Tiger?” As Wikipedia summarizes the story:
The semi-barbaric King of an ancient land utilized an unusual form of administering justice for offenders in his kingdom. The offender would be placed in an arena where his only way out would be to go through one of two doors. Behind one door was a beautiful woman hand-picked by the king and behind the other was a fierce tiger. The offender was then asked to pick one of the doors, without knowing what was behind it. If he picked the door with the woman behind it, then he was declared innocent but was also required to marry the woman, regardless of previous marital status. If he picked the door with the tiger behind it, though, then he was deemed guilty and the tiger would rip him to pieces.
Suppose the tyrant compelled you to make a choice of the two doors — but with a difference. One leads to the tiger, but behind the other door — the woman you must marry — there isn’t a beautiful woman. Instead it’s a woman who weighs 700 pounds and she’s covered with warts. Moreover, she has the mind of Nancy Pelosi, the temperament of Cynthia McKinney, the judgment of Cindy Sheehan, and the warmth of Hillary Clinton.
We’ll make one other change to the traditional story — the doors are clearly marked, so you know what awaits you behind each one. Not much of a choice, is it?
Now then, let’s consider the choices facing an American who wants to select a political party. One is increasingly becoming the party of Bolshevism, socialism, unionism, protectionism, deficit spending, inflation, confiscatory taxation, income redistribution, welfare statism, environmental extremism, political tribalism, disarmament, and military defeatism. Regarding science, they’re rock-solid in their opposition to both nuclear energy and oil drilling, and they’re cutting funds for space exploration.
And the other party? The supposed opposition to the above-listed horrors once stood for the Constitution, the rule of law, national defense, free enterprise, limited government, low taxes, balanced budgets, and individual rights. But no longer. They sometimes mention those things, although such moments seem perfunctory. They also claim to oppose the policies of the first party; but lately they reserve their greatest passion for what they call family values and social conservatism. Those terms mean a peculiar mix of sex and religion issues, which we described in our Open Letter to the Republican Party.
So there you are. Those are the two political parties. One is socialist, protectionist, and pacifist; the other is creationist, sanctimonious, and theocratic. Now it’s decision time. Two doors stand before you; they lead to the political parties. Does either one appeal to you?
Or maybe one door leads to the tiger, the other to the 700-pound wart-covered woman. In either case, which door do you prefer? Or doesn’t it matter?
Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.