BY popular demand, we continue with the feature we first introduced here: Dear Mentor: Column 1. As has become customary, we must first have a flourish of Mentor’s unique scrollwork, and then today’s column begins:
Question: Dear Mentor, I recently decided to have nothing but creationism in my life. So I asked my family doctor what he thought of evolution and I was shocked. Shocked! Now I’m looking for a good creationist doctor. Can you help me?
Answer: Unfortunately, the tragic fact is that there are none in this country. Dentists, yes — lots of them, but no physicians. I suggest that you travel to Haiti for all your medical needs.
Question: Dear Mentor, my son was exposed to evolution in a high school “science” class this year. Now he’s been arrested for dealing in crack and running a prostitution ring. I know that Darwin did this to him, but the public defender won’t use that as a defense. What should I do?
Answer: There’s nothing to be done at this stage, but it sounds like you’ll have a great appeal because your son was denied adequate counsel.
Question: Dear Mentor, I am a virtuous woman. I don’t have much education or talent, so I have always regarded chastity as my most important attribute. Last night I went to a debate about evolution at my church. I was very surprised to find that the Darwinist sounded quite reasonable — much better, actually, than the creationist. Now I’m confused and very worried. Will doubting creationism turn me into a nymphomaniac?
Answer: There is certainly that danger. I recommend that you immediately obtain a copy of Ben Stein’s Expelled and watch it six times. That should protect you. If not, then all is lost.
That’s it for this installment, Mentor fans. Keep thinking about your questions, and Mentor will receive your thoughts. If you are pure of heart, and your question is worthy, he will answer.
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