Dear Mentor: Column 2

BY popular demand, we continue with the feature we first introduced here: Dear Mentor: Column 1. As has become customary, we must first have a flourish of Mentor’s unique scrollwork, and then today’s column begins:

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Question: Dear Mentor, I recently decided to have nothing but creationism in my life. So I asked my family doctor what he thought of evolution and I was shocked. Shocked! Now I’m looking for a good creationist doctor. Can you help me?

Answer: Unfortunately, the tragic fact is that there are none in this country. Dentists, yes — lots of them, but no physicians. I suggest that you travel to Haiti for all your medical needs.

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Question: Dear Mentor, my son was exposed to evolution in a high school “science” class this year. Now he’s been arrested for dealing in crack and running a prostitution ring. I know that Darwin did this to him, but the public defender won’t use that as a defense. What should I do?

Answer: There’s nothing to be done at this stage, but it sounds like you’ll have a great appeal because your son was denied adequate counsel.

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Question: Dear Mentor, I am a virtuous woman. I don’t have much education or talent, so I have always regarded chastity as my most important attribute. Last night I went to a debate about evolution at my church. I was very surprised to find that the Darwinist sounded quite reasonable — much better, actually, than the creationist. Now I’m confused and very worried. Will doubting creationism turn me into a nymphomaniac?

Answer: There is certainly that danger. I recommend that you immediately obtain a copy of Ben Stein’s Expelled and watch it six times. That should protect you. If not, then all is lost.

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That’s it for this installment, Mentor fans. Keep thinking about your questions, and Mentor will receive your thoughts. If you are pure of heart, and your question is worthy, he will answer.

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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4 responses to “Dear Mentor: Column 2

  1. If someone wants a creationist physician we have a bunch of them in Shreveport, Louisiana. I guess if we’re in the bible belt, this is the buckle. You would think that creationist physician would be an oxymoron, but Noooooo. What do you expect for the only state in the Union that passed the so called “Academic Freedom” bill from the Discoveroids. And to top it off, we have a governor with a biology degree from Brown University who panders to the right-wing and believes in creationism. He started out this year by proposing a $200 million cut to higher education, but the legislature reduced it to $100 million.

  2. Something to think about: If someone “panders to the right-wing” do they “believe in” creationism in the sense that they “believe in” the need to tell fairy tales to “children”? OTOH if they (meaning educated, like Jindal, as opposed to the clueless person-on-the-street) actually believe that the evidence supports independent origin of “kinds” and/or an alternate chrolology of events in natural history why aren’t they jumping at the chance to test their hypotheses?

  3. Which part of the right do they pander to? From what I’ve seen, the right is as diverse as the left and the centre, and creationism covers the entire spectrum.

  4. Benjamin Franklin

    I think Jindal and all those mentioned above should check out a web site I have heard tell about. I believe it is called “The Panders Thumb”

    BTW, somebody has to say it, and I guess that somebody has to be me, the Mentor’s unique scrollwork really sucks.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.