The Curmudgeon at Wit’s End, or “The Crisis”

THESE are difficult times for your Curmudgeon. Here we are, headquartered in the secret underground control room of the CITADEL –the Curmudgeonly Institute for Tactics, Advocacy, and Defense of the Enlightenment Legacy — the global nerve center for monitoring events throughout the Creosphere which threaten the values of Western Civilization. We have the best equipment. We have our dedicated, clandestine network of operatives. But we’re frustrated.

As we scan for news of “The Controversy” between evolution and creationism, we know that there are bigger problems in the world. With ever-increasing speed, America is sliding down the slimy slope to socialism; and it’s likely we’ll all die from Obama Trauma long before we’re burned at the stake by creationists. So why do we worry about the creationists?

It’s because they’re Obama’s enablers! The so-called “social conservatives,” or (as they sometimes style themselves) the “family values” crowd, have exactly the same mindset as their intellectual hero, the great blowhard, the arch-progressive, the crazed promoter of the income tax and the Federal Reserve system — William Jennings Bryan; and that mindset almost always includes Bryan’s well-known racism, which is the never-mentioned motive for rejecting evolution and its corollary of common descent.

The creationist social conservatives abandoned their traditional home in the democrat party when Lyndon Johnson “betrayed” them by supporting civil rights legislation. Politically homeless, they blundered into the once-Yankee dominated GOP where they really didn’t fit; so they’ve used their numbers to remake the party to suit themselves.

Yes, the creationists have left the democrat party, but along with their votes they’ve brought the ghastly ghost of William Jennings Bryan into the GOP. Now, instead of offering a rational alternative to the policies of Obama, the GOP offers only a different kind of madness — theocracy and a weird anti-scientific populism.

The irony is that all those family-values social conservatives who once had their noses jammed way up into Bryan’s anatomy have unknowingly made a swap. If they ever looked around they’d discover that instead of Bryan’s anatomy — what they’ve got themselves into is Barney Frank’s. They’re actually helping Barney (and Nancy and all the others) stay in power because the so-cons have virtually destroyed the GOP. Their anti-science theocracy isn’t an attractive alternative to the democrats. It isn’t attractive to anyone except creationists, and although numerous, there aren’t nearly enough of them to win national elections.

The bottom line is this: Unless Republicans can take their party back from the creationists, they can’t bring the country back from the abyss.

But some will say: We need the so-cons’ votes! Do we really? If we stop pandering to the “base” and start behaving rationally again, we could attract a large number of currently undecided voters who would be delighted to embrace a sensible alternative to Obama. That’s not without risk.

Wouldn’t we lose more creationist votes than we’d gain from the undecideds? Maybe, but maybe not. Where will the so-cons go? Back to the dems? Some might, and some will just stay home on election day, but many will continue to vote GOP. A party that stands for free enterprise and the Constitution should still be attractive to a number of them, even if we stop promoting their creationism.

But what if the math doesn’t work out and we lose anyway? Well then, so be it. At least we’ll go down with the flag flying.

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “The Curmudgeon at Wit’s End, or “The Crisis”

  1. I converted from republican to democrat when the anti-science/family values crowd took over back in the 80’s. There is no place in today’s republican party for the fiscal conservative/socially tolerant person. The party leaders are a bunch of no-nothings. I don’t see too much hope for them in their current form. Too bad since an effective loyal opposition is both useful and healthy for the nation. Neither party has functioned very well as the loyal opposition.

  2. If I ever get motivated to change, I’ll probably re-register as independent.

  3. ” If we stop pandering to the “base” and start behaving rationally again, we could attract a large number of currently undecided voters who would be delighted to embrace a sensible alternative to Obama.”

    That’s the trick – isn’t it

  4. Yes. How can you get a politician to stop pandering?

  5. Curmudgeon wrote: “Wouldn’t we lose more creationist votes than we’d gain from the undecideds? Maybe, but maybe not.”

    No one knows, but my guess is we’ll lose in the short run and gain in the long run, if only because of the words of Paul Gross: “Everybody who has undertaken in the last 300 years to stand against the growth of scientific knowledge has lost.”

    Curmudgeon wrote: “How can you get a politician to stop pandering?”

    Not by doing anything legal that I can think of. 🙂

  6. Benjamin Franklin

    It is way past time for a third party in the US. The poblem is, that the two parties in control have made it almost impossible for a non-demopublican to even get on a ballot, much less elected.

  7. Benjamin Franklin says: “It is way past time for a third party in the US.”

    That’s very difficult to do, unless a big faction from an existing party bolts to start the new one. Even then, a new party is difficult and expensive to start, because there are ballot access laws in every state that must be overcome. It’s probably much easier, quicker, and less expensive to take over an existing party.

  8. Curmy:

    I didn’t think you had it in you. 2010 looks like a big opportunity to me for, say the Libertarian Party, if they can get their kooks under control. We’ll see.

    But right now, the Republican Party is so badly infested with the Bryanites, it’s probably not worth trying to save it.

  9. The Gadfly says: “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

    You mean … there’s some hope for me?

  10. You need a Margaret Thatcher. But please, don’t try and tell me that your execrable Sarah Palin is an acceptable substitute .

    Sorting out the US is probably more than Lady Thatcher could take on now, so I’ll propose instead that the UK Conservative Party be permitted to run in US elections. No one can doubt the Tories will stomp home at the next general election in the UK, so why not in the USA as well?

  11. Great Claw, you’ve raised the issue of whether foreigners can hold office in the US. I don’t wanna go there.

  12. longshadow

    Ahh, the General Burgoyne revenge strategy, eh?

  13. The DEMOCRATIC party, not the democrat party. Jeez.

  14. David Gillaspie

    When is question is framed for a ‘this or that’ answer, it’s usually neither. Look under the surface of creation-ism and evolution and see who responds after we follow the neanderthals and Cro Mags into the sunset.

    Who will be left to carry on? The off-spring of old dads, apparently. There’s a third party to get behind.

    http://deegeesbb.wordpress.com/2009/07/19/working-darwin/