Storms and Showers (It’s Ronda Storms)

THIS has nothing to do with the evolution-creationism controversy, except that it involves everyone’s favorite Florida creationist, Rapturous Ronda Storms.

Last year we named Ronda the Creationist Queen of the Florida Senate for her fanatical zeal in promoting one of those anti-science, anti-evolution, pro-creationism bills modeled after the misleadingly-named Academic Freedom Act, promoted by the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute’s Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids).

Since then, Ronda has distinguished herself further by promoting a Godly License Plate Bill, with a cross and “I Believe” on it. But the bill failed. Then she declared war on the Dewey Decimal System. After that she launched a failed legislative initiative for Prayer in School,

But now, Ronda may have found her ultimate purpose in life. We present to you, dear reader, some excerpts from Church convoy offers free food, hope to struggling families, which appears in the Tampa Tribune. The bold font was added by us:

A compassionate convoy will converge on the Florida State Fairgrounds on Saturday and set up shop inside Expo Hall where hundreds of volunteers will offer free food, fun and encouragement to families who are struggling to make ends meet.

Volunteers from more than 75 Bay area churches expect to welcome as many as 9,000 people through the fairgrounds’ gates. The group will serve free lunch to all who attend and send every adult home with a bag full of groceries. There also will be free family photos, health screenings, haircuts, job counseling services and entertainment.

That’s wonderful, but what does it have to do with Ronda? You’ll have to read on to find out:

Nursing school students will offer basic health screenings, while officials from government and social service agencies will be on hand to answer questions. State Sen. Ronda Storms, R-Brandon, has signed up to braid children’s hair from 11 a.m. to noon.

Aha! Perhaps Ronda has finally found her true calling. And here’s one more excerpt:

Ron Showers, Convoy’s outreach coordinator [that’s Convoy of Hope, a nonprofit organization], said the poor and working poor are the group’s target audience, but anyone is welcome and there are no eligibility requirements, financial or otherwise.

That guy’s name is what inspired our title Hey, it’s a slow news day. We warned you this had nothing to do with The Controversy.

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

5 responses to “Storms and Showers (It’s Ronda Storms)

  1. Curmudgeon wrote: “We warned you this had nothing to do with The Controversy.”

    Ah, but it does. Didn’t you just write about global warming and intelligent weather? It’s obviously all part of the plan by the unnamed, unembodied intelligent designer. Add “Storms and Showers” and this undoubtedly passes Dembski’s filter (improbable and specified). 😉

  2. Frank J says: “It’s obviously all part of the plan by the unnamed, unembodied intelligent designer.”

    Yes! Suddenly it’s all clear to me. We are nearing the End of Days!

  3. I had no idea she was so talented!

  4. Yes, Colloquy, Ronda is not only a great creationist, but that remarkable woman can also braid hair.

  5. I can’t wait for the day when you can breathlessly announce on your blog the arrival of……

    wait for it…..

    Stormy Monday….