Louisiana Creationism: There Is No Hope!


WHAT can we say about Louisiana? It’s the only state in the US that can boast of passing an anti-science, anti-evolution, pro-creationism “Academic Freedom” bill modeled after the Academic Freedom Act promoted by the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute’s Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids).

That bill, now known as the Louisiana Science Education Act (LSEA), which permits unspecified “supplemental materials” — wink, wink — to be used in science classes, was signed by governor Bobby Jindal, also known as Bobby Jindal, the Exorcist, who is perhaps the world’s only creationist who majored in biology at Brown University.

That pretty much tells you all you need to know about Louisiana, right? Wrong! It’s also important to know how deep the rabbit hole goes. As we’re about to show you, dear reader, it’s far deeper than we suspected.

Sometimes one can gain useful insights from the most commonplace sources. This is a letter to the editor, dated 03 August, which appears in the Advocate from Baton Rouge. It’s titled Memo to officials: Fish need water. It’s a good, old-fashioned, down home bureaucrat-bashing letter — and no one enjoys that kind of thing more than your Curmudgeon.

The letter’s subject is totally unimportant to our blog — it’s about fish and swamps and water levels on the Mississippi — but when you read it, an interesting feature leaps out. After scathingly criticizing the bureaucrats who operate the floodgates that maintain water levels, and claiming that their incompetence caused the death of a bunch of fish, the part that impressed us is how the letter-writer drives home his point about official stupidity. We added the bold font:

Are they really so oblivious to the environmental consequences of their actions as not to realize the fish and wildlife will die off without the water?


I guess they didn’t get the memo about the levees being there.


On the other hand, maybe Iberville’s leaders are just the victims of a poor Louisiana public school education. With the emphasis on evolution in schools, perhaps they expected the fish to evolve, grow lungs and legs, and fend for themselves.

We’ve seen a lot of creationist foolishness, and Louisiana has contributed a large portion of it, but that really struck us. The letter-writer — who is straightforwardly speaking his mind to his fellow citizens in terms they can easily understand — is saying that bureaucrats are not only dumb, but they’re so dumb that they must be the victims of a school system that teaches evolution!

Wow! Not only dumb, but evolution-trained dumb! And in the everyday idiom of the good folk of Louisiana it just doesn’t get any dumber than that.

And so, dear reader, we understand at last. Having seen how the regular people of Louisiana think about things, we no longer wonder why creationism is their official state science.

There’s even more in the letter, so here’s one last excerpt:

As for the Iberville Parish officials, hopefully they can evolve, grow wings and fly away to the land of common sense. I won’t hold my breath though, and the fish sure couldn’t.

The author of this unintentionally revealing letter gives his occupation as service manager. He has provided a genuine service to us. Thanks to him, we can add a new item to our treasury of creationist goodies — which starts off with “Why are there still monkeys?”

Behold a new insult: “You’re so dumb you must have been taught evolution!”

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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3 responses to “Louisiana Creationism: There Is No Hope!

  1. retiredsciguy

    Curmy wrote,
    “Wow! Not only dumb, but evolution-trained dumb!”
    Sounds like “There’s strong. Then there’s Army strong”. There’s dumb, then there’s Louisiana dumb. As an example, choosing to live in a place (new Orleans) that’s ten feet below sea level in a hurricane zone.
    Rather than blaming the schools, maybe it’s something in the water. After all, they’re using it after every city upstream is done with it.

  2. Such a shame too… New Orleans is such a fun city… or was. I have not been back since after Katrina. Really great food… really great music… and so much stupid. I hope that the forces of good don’t give up on them.

  3. “As for the Iberville Parish officials, hopefully they can evolve, grow wings and fly away to the land of common sense. ” The letter writer at least appears to be aware that Louisiana is far from the land of common sense.