ONCE again, dear reader, we beg you to indulge your Curmudgeon as we engage in a bit of parody. Having observed the chicanery of creationists, we have learned that their style of argument can be applied to virtually anything. Behold, our refutation of the theory of powered flight — Flightism:
1. For thousands of years, powered flight has been known to be impossible.
2. Powered flight is not mentioned in the Bible. If man were meant to fly, we’d have been created with wings.
3. Powered flight is only a theory. There is no evidence of powered flight.
4. The Second Law of Thermodynamics rules out heavier-than-air flight.
5. Those who claim to have flown are delusional, or else they’re liars, engaged in some kind of fraudulent scheme.
6. Insects and birds can fly, but that’s micro flight. Large animals don’t fly. Macro flight is obviously impossible. Have you ever seen a cow fly?
7. Things seen in the sky other than insects and birds are, in truth, evidence of supernatural beings.
8. Belief in powered flight upsets the natural order and leads to sexual promiscuity. This is destructive of family values. The myth of flight is a product of materialism and a Godless, naturalistic worldview.
9. Aristotle didn’t believe in Flightism. Nor did Galileo or Isaac Newton. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Benjamin Franklin rejected Flightism. Lord Kelvin (1824-1907), a highly regarded scientist and president of the Royal Society of London, stated flatly in 1885, “Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.” [Source: Kelvin, Lord William Thomson.] Are you smarter than they are?
10. It takes more faith to believe in Flightism than to believe in the tooth fairy.
Flightism is a theory in crisis! Teach the controversy!
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