Thank You For Calling

THANK you for calling The Sensuous Curmudgeon! Your call is very important to us. Please choose from one of the following options:

To tell us that evolution is “just a theory,” press 1.
To tell us there’s no evidence of transitional species, press 2.
To tell us the odds against evolution prove that it’s impossible, press 3.
To tell us we’re all commies, Nazis, or atheists, press 4.
To tell us evolution is a faith-based religion, press 5.
To tell us we have a naturalistic, materialistic worldview, press 6.
To tell us about Piltdown Man, press 7.
To recite from the book of Genesis, press 8.
To tell us something you read at a creationist website, press 9.
To tell us you accept micro evolution, but not macro evolution, press 0.
To tell us we can’t prove the origin of life, press the pound sign.
To tell us we banned you because we’re afraid of the truth, press star.

To listen to these options again, hang up and redial. And thank you for calling The Sensuous Curmudgeon!

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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10 responses to “Thank You For Calling

  1. “And if you are paranoid, you don’t need to leave a message — we already know who you are, where you live, and we are already watching you!

  2. Longie says: “… and we are already watching you!“

    Not only that, but our Mutation Ray has already zapped your gonads. Your next offspring will be half-man, half-toad.

  3. No, no, no! Piltdown man has to be included in all options and Climategate now too. You can’t have any discussion with a creationist without these two subjects being brought up. Often…

  4. Not sure if it’s your intent, but I despise that “press 1..press 2…” as much as I despise regurgitated anti-evolution nonsense. I always press “0” to get a live person. And I don’t do anything by phone unless there’s no other option.

  5. Albanaeon says: “Piltdown man has to be included in all options and Climategate now too.”

    I ran out of keys to press. Lots of stuff had to be left out.

  6. Frank J says:

    … I despise that “press 1..press 2…”

    Stop complaining. I left out “Press 1 for English.”

  7. @ longshadow,

    We might also add: Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that we’re not out to get you.

  8. Curmudgeon: “Stop complaining. I left out ‘Press 1 for English’.”

    Ironically I did write “para Espanol” and deleted it. In fact I’m considering writing in Joey Vento for president in 2012. I’ll have to find out position on evolution first.

  9. I don’t know why I keep calling that number, it just hangs up on me.

    Oh, well, let’s try it again…

  10. Tundra Boy says: “I don’t know why I keep calling that number, it just hangs up on me.”

    You gotta keep trying. We get millions of calls every day.