Two Plus Two Equals Three

Two plus two equals three

Yes, you read the title correctly. What? You say you never heard of such a thing? We’re not surprised. Our theory has been viciously discriminated against by the ancient and politically powerful lobby promoting the Theory of Materialistic Arithmetic (the TMA).

Must two plus two always be four? Of course not! The infinite potential of the universe cannot be constrained by such limitations. Yet the TMA lobby prevents alternatives from being taught. They insist that they alone know what the answer must always be. Students who give the “wrong” answer are treated mercilessly in arithmetic classes, while intellectuals who dare to advocate alternative views are cruelly expelled from academic posts as their papers are summarily rejected by mathematics journals.

How does the TMA lobby know what the answer must always be? Have they done all possible tests of their “theory”? Of course they haven’t. They’re guessing! Yet they insist that their theory is the only theory, and they ruthlessly suppress all competing views.

The TMA lobby consists of narrow-minded materialist computationalists, cowardly counting-clerks, and dimwitted digital dolts, with a worldview that limits their vision and cripples the critical thinking of their students.

What are they afraid of? Why won’t they permit academic freedom? Why can’t all sides of the issue be presented, so the students can decide for themselves? Why can’t students at least learn the strengths and weaknesses of the TMA?

It’s because, in the TMA lobby’s dogmatic, materialistic view, their precious Theory of Arithmetic has nothing that rises to the level of a weakness. Such a breathtakingly authoritarian attitude has no place in classroom, and it serves only to indoctrinate students rather than teaching them how to think critically.

Why does the TMA lobby behave like this? Others who know the truth have been frightened or bribed into silence, but we’ve been silent too long. It’s time to speak out against this global tyranny — whatever the cost!

Do you want to know the purpose of the TMA conspiracy? We’ll tell you the secret — it’s because the materialist power structure depends on the TMA lobby and their allegedly “correct” views. It’s what keeps the people in line and obedient to authority.

But if the truth were known, our masters would lose every shred of authority. That’s why they can’t tolerate dissent. That’s why the establishment will accept nothing less than the one-sided dogmatic presentation of the TMA-only position in public schools.

Join us. Despite all obstacles, our list of TMA skeptics is growing. Add your name to ours. We are not going away, and our voices will be heard.

Teach the controversy!

Copyright © 2009. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Two Plus Two Equals Three

  1. Gabriel Hanna

    It’s worse than you think.

    Travel three miles east and four miles north, you end up five miles from your starting place. Clearly 3 + 4 = 5. Simple algebra reveals then that 2 + 3 = 3. Consequently, 0 = 2. Divide both sides by 2 and 0 = 1.

    From that it is trivial to prove that all numbers are equal, as God created them; only Darwinists would maintain otherwise.

  2. Gabriel Hanna, you have seen the light.

  3. Gabriel Hanna

    Number and Number’s laws lay hid in night:
    God said, Let Hanna be! and all was light.

  4. Gabriel Hanna says: “God said, Let Hanna be! and all was light.”

    Have you ever noticed that Hanna rhymes with banana? I think I see a pattern here …

  5. How does the TMA lobby know what the answer must always be? Have they done all possible tests of their “theory”? Of course they haven’t. They’re guessing!

    Indeed they are! And even if they do test their “theory,” they can’t possibly know that 2+2 always equaled 4 in the past. After all, they weren’t there!

    Historical mathematics cannot be tested the same way experimental mathematics can – every cmathematics proponentists knows that.

  6. eric says: “Historical mathematics cannot be tested …”

    How true! But wait until the release of some hacked email I’ve been hearing about. That’ll blow the whole thing wide open.

  7. … cowardly counting-clerks, and dimwitted digital dolts, …

    Holy alliteration, Batman!

  8. Longie says: “Holy alliteration, Batman!”

    Sizzle over substance.

  9. This’d be more funny if creationist weren’t already arguing similar things. All their “different radioactive decay” and “faster speed of light” really boil down to trying to change the basics of mathematics…

  10. The anti-TMA movement has an interesting history. Decades ago “scientific” additionists sought equal time for 2+2=42. So there too, students who gave an answer other than 42 or 4 were treated mercilessly. And there were reports that some students who said 4 (the TMA answer) were also treated mercilessly. Plus those “scientific” additionists had growing competition from more “progressive” additionists who asserted that 2+2=3. They even debated each other on occasion, which had the adverse effect of exposing the weaknesses of their “theories”.

    Taking a lesson from the ultra-liberal “give Johnny credit for any answer” crowd, they repackaged “scientific” additionism into “intelligent arithmetic.” Now Johnny can get credit for any answer he feels comfortable with, as long as he learns that belief in TMA leads to all sorts of bad behavior.

  11. I agree with Frank.
    It’s the “Big Top” strategy.

  12. 1.6 + 1.6 = 3.2

    1.6 ~ 2, and 3.2 ~ 3

    So 2 + 2 = 3.

    Sigfigs, anyone?

  13. Cheryl Shepherd-Adams says: “Sigfigs, anyone?”

    Right. That’s why the Good Book correctly says that pi equals three.