WE have some thrilling news from that blessed region we’ve been calling The Florida Ark. Today’s story is the climax, so to speak, of our earlier post: Creationist Elected Mayor of St. Petersburg, Fla. But first you need some geographical orientation. According to the Curmudgeon’s Glossary:
The Florida Ark is that concave stretch of coast — an arc, get it? — starting at the Alabama border and then sweeping down the shore of the Gulf of Mexico all the way to Tampa, and a bit beyond. This blessed region is home to a great number of creationists.
Okay, now we present to you, dear reader, some excerpts from Foster sworn in as St. Petersburg mayor, which appears in the St. Petersburg Times. The bold font was added by us:
It was a day of prayer and celebration. Bill Foster became the city’s 53rd mayor Saturday afternoon in a emotional swearing-in ceremony that marked a new chapter in St. Petersburg’s political history.
Let’s read on:
Foster … celebrated his milestone with a day filled with spiritual contemplation. He asked the Rev. Clarence Williams of Mount Zion AME Church on 16th Street S., a religious landmark in the local black community, to begin the morning with a church service, in which Williams called on parishioners to examine their service to their community.
Things are really humming in St. Petersburg. That’s not surprising. It was once the home of Terri Schiavo. And as we pointed out earlier, St. Petersburg is in Pinellas County, which is right next to Hillsborough County — the power base of Rapturous Ronda Storms. We continue:
Foster, a devout Christian, sat with his family in the front pew, occasionally bobbing his shoulders and head, as a half-dozen pastors led the congregation in worship. There were hymns of praise and Scripture readings.
Ah, not just one preacher, but a half-dozen of them. This will be a mayor to remember. Here’s more:
Near the end of the service, [Rev. Clarence] Williams asked Foster and all present council members to stand at the center of the church. Williams paired a pastor with each elected official, and as church members stretched out their hands in support, the congregation prayed that the city move forward, “in the name of Jesus.”
St. Petersburg is a city on the verge of greatness! Maybe we’ll have our next Curmudgeon’s Convention there. Moving along:
Later, Foster, city staffers, residents and elected leaders gathered at City Hall to bid outgoing Mayor Rick Baker farewell during his final council meeting. Jerry Lancaster, Foster’s longtime pastor at Starkey Road Baptist Church in Seminole, gave an invocation, asking God to help Foster lead, “with the compassion of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Is Foster capable of going to the bathroom by himself, or does he require the helping hand of a preacher even there?
Then the paper reminds us:
On the campaign trail, Foster was often criticized for inserting religious rhetoric into secular debates.
After he had left office [as a city council member] Foster wrote a letter to the Pinellas County School Board regarding the teaching of evolution. It said, in part, that Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution helped Adolf Hitler rise to power in Nazi Germany.
Earlier, that same newspaper reported:
St. Petersburg mayoral candidate Bill Foster believes, contrary to the overwhelming majority of scientists, that dinosaurs and humans co-existed. He believes the world literally was created in six days, and he once complained to school officials when his son was taught about Darwin’s theory of evolution in fifth grade.
The city is indeed fortunate to have a man like Foster as mayor. One final excerpt:
Foster insisted his religious beliefs haven’t and won’t overlap with his governing.
That seems to be true. Foster is praying all day long. No governing, no overlap.
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