Illinois Governor’s Race: A Nightmare Choice

Illinois gubernatorial candidate Bill Brady

“Give thanks to God, Brighton, that when he made you a fool, he gave you a fool’s face.”

We leave it to you, dear reader, to figure out what made your Curmudgeon think of that line. It comes from Lawrence of Arabia, in the scene where those memorable words were spoken by the sheikh of the Huwaytat Bedouin warriors, Auda abu Tayi (Anthony Quinn) to Colonel Harry Brighton (Anthony Quayle).

The last time we wrote about this election contest was here Bill Brady, Creationist, for Governor of Illinois. In today’s Chicago Tribune we read Bill Brady finds himself standing in a harsher light.

We already know that Brady’s a creationist, so there’s nothing new about that; but the article gives some of his other views which may be of interest. Here are some excerpts, with bold added by us:

Brady has proposed banning same-sex marriages and civil unions and loosening restrictions on discrimination based on gender or sexual identity — issues that play well with his conservative base but don’t sell well in Illinois’ moderate middle. The Bloomington lawmaker also tried to help a local veterinarian by sponsoring a bill allowing mass euthanasia of dogs and cats, which typically involves gassing the animals.

In addition to everything else, Brady is a dog killer. Let’s read on:

Brady, 48, is married with three children. His social conservatism is rooted in his Roman Catholic faith and upbringing. He supports a ban on abortion, including in cases of rape and incest, with an exception only when the mother’s life is at stake.

Brady may want to kill dogs, but he loves fetuses. Hey, he’s willing to allow an abortion to save the mother’s life. That’s something, isn’t it? The ladies ought to love him. We continue:

Brady has supported bringing religion into public classrooms “through the principles of the Founding Fathers’ design” and also believes local school boards should be able to order the teaching of creationism.

Very traditional. Reading, writing, ‘rithmatic, and Oogity Boogity. Here’s more:

If general election contests represent a time for candidates to move to the center to secure the votes of independents, Brady may have a farther drive.

Well said. Moving along:

“At a time when Illinois could really use an uplifting campaign that talks about issues and solutions and options and new directions, we’re going to get a debate over killing puppies,” Yepsen said.

That quote was from David Yepsen, director of the Paul Simon Public Policy Institute at Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. The article also quotes Yepsen as saying:

Each party has now nominated the candidate the other party most wanted to run against.

Brady’s opponent, current Democratic Governor Pat Quinn, is described in the article like this:

Quinn, the longtime Chicago populist who was elevated to the governor’s office more than a year ago after the impeachment of Rod Blagojevich, has long attached himself to liberal causes, including universal health care. But Quinn has struggled to accomplish his public policy goals, manage an overwhelming state budget deficit and persuade lawmakers to support his proposals for tax increases.

This is Quinn’s campaign website. He favors every left-wing cause imaginable.

Brady and Quinn seem like a great pair of candidates. The people of Illinois have a wonderful choice. They can vote for either: (1) Brady, a fiscally conservative, pro-life, gay-bashing, puppy-killing creationist; or (2) Quinn, a big-spending, tax-increasing, governmental health care type of liberal.

If your Curmudgeon lived in Illinois, we wouldn’t bother to vote. We’d be too busy packing up and getting ready to move out.

Copyright © 2010. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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8 responses to “Illinois Governor’s Race: A Nightmare Choice

  1. Talk about having to choose the lesser of two evils.

  2. retiredsciguy

    The problem is, neither is the lesser of two evils. They are both so bad, you want choice “C”: None of the Above. If Choice “C” receives a plurality, an all-new election is held. If a candidate receives a plurality but not a majority, a new vote is held pitting that candidate vs. “new election”.

    Another advantage — it should tone down the negative advertising.

  3. I have an idea. If you don’t like Brady or Quinn, write in Brady Quinn.

    I know. Cleveland’s not in Illinois, but it just sounded cool.

  4. The only choice “C” we usually get is not to vote at all. That just means someone else makes the choice for you. Probably whichever party does the better job of getting their side to vote.

  5. Brady is out of control. Maybe there should be a designation of “Santorum Catholic.” Were I in Illinois, my aversion to the Religious Right would force me to support Quinn. I can’t bear to sacrifice my vote.

  6. Frank J proposes

    If you don’t like Brady or Quinn, write in Brady Quinn.

    Why not, in deference to the scene from Lawrence of Arabia with which Curmy opened this article, write in Anthony Quinn?

    OK, so he died in 2001, but Zorba the Governor still sounds pretty good….

  7. To the people of Illinois: write in “Mike Fortner”. Please.

  8. I propose writing in Arthur Turner, who is currently an Illinois State Representative.