Creationist Wisdom #126: Cliche-orama 2

WE recently published the first in what was promised to be a two-part presentation. That was here: Creationist Wisdom #123: Cliche-orama (Part 1). This is the second installment, also written by Richard Marshall.

We present to you, dear reader, a letter-to-the-editor (or maybe it’s a guest column) titled The case for intelligent design, which appears in the Fort Scott Tribune of Fort Scott, Kansas. We’ll copy parts of Marshall’s essay — it’s very long — adding some bold for emphasis and our Curmudgeonly commentary between the paragraphs. Here we go:

The most amazing phenomenon in the world is the human body. Have you ever wondered why the most vulnerable organ in the body has the most protections? The most vulnerable organ, the brain is enclosed within a bone enclosure. The next most vulnerable organs — the heart and lungs are enclosed in the rib cage. I would say that the evidence is clear that the human body was intelligently designed this way.

Skull & rib cage, therefore intelligent design. Very persuasive. Let’s read on:

The nervous system is not just the most awesome system in the body but the most awesome phenomenon in the whole world. The nervous systems [sic] is so extensive that if everything was removed from the body except the nervous system, that the form of the body would still be there.

Imagine that! Wowie! Marshall gushes on about the brain and the nervous system for a bit, and then we come to this:

Probably the most complex organ besides the brain of the human body is the eye. The retina of the eye is made up of millions of two kinds of receptive cells called cones and rods. [Skipping high school anatomy material.] You have to agree that the nervous system is very intelligently designed.

Who could deny it? We continue:

The circulatory system is also amazing, consisting of the hear [sic] and a transportation system made up of 100 thousand miles of arteries, veins and capillaries. How would you like the job of arranging 100 thousand miles of vessels so that all the billions of cells are properly nourished?

Marshall imagines that the only way to solve such problems is by sweating over an immense drawing board, but if a competent engineer were assigned the job, he’d use nature’s method of designing such a system — an evolutionary algorithm. And he’d get a solution a lot faster than nature by turning the task over to a computer running through millions of generations per hour.

Skipping more babble about the circulatory system, we encounter this:

These very technically complex functions demonstrates [sic] forcefully that they were not just designed by an intelligent designer but by the ultimate designer. If you believe all these complex function just happened by chance, then I am sure you also believe that a tornado passing through a huge junk yard might produce a new cadallac [sic] car.

Golly, not some everyday intelligent designer — the ultimate designer! Marshall used his lower-case “cadilac” in the first installment to illustrate Paley’s watchmaker argument. Showing off his intellectual versatility, this time he uses it to introduce the “tornado in a junk yard.” You know that one — see Hoyle’s fallacy. Here’s more:

Of course, considering the extreme complexity of the universe and the laws by which it is regulated and the complex relationships of everything that make up the universe not only demands intelligence by [presumably that should have been “but”] demands the ultimate intelligence — the all-knowing-all powerful Creator-God.

Ah, this is brilliant! Marshall’s logic has taken us, step by step, from intelligent design, to the ultimate designer, to the ultimate intelligence, and then to the final conclusion — God. Verily, we’ve been given an iron-clad, geometric proof. What more can we learn from Mr. Marshall? Stay with us:

An astranaught [Aaaargh!!] from his perspective out in space said “No one in his right mind can see such a sight and deny the existence of a supreme being. Some power placed out little world, our sun and our moon where they are in the dark void. It is just too perfect and beautiful to have happened by accident.”

Still more proof! It just keeps piling up. Moving along:

In closing I would like to say that I have a little problem with those people who cannot completely comprehend and understand God who try to bring Him down to the level of their comprehension of Him by their finite minds. We are not supposed to completely comprehend God. That is why we are to stand in awe of Him giving Him our total love and respect.

Marshall ends the essay with a bit of scripture, but we’ll leave it to you to click over to the Fort Scott Tribune so you can experience that for yourself. In conclusion, having been utterly convinced that we are the product of intelligent design by the ultimate designer possessing the ultimate intelligence, all we can say is this:

On your knees! No other posture becomes you. Oh, please remember to send us all your money. Don’t hold anything back. We want it all!

Copyright © 2010. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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29 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #126: Cliche-orama 2

  1. And what is most amazing about the design of the human body is that it is designed on the same pattern as other primates, and most especially of all, as chimps, bonobos, and other apes.

    That pattern of similarities can’t be just a matter of chance, can it?

    Do you think that some intelligent designers had some common purpose in mind, some common materials, and some common methods to generate that common design?

  2. TomS asks:

    That pattern of similarities can’t be just a matter of chance, can it?

    No. Mutations are chancy, but the resulting “pattern of similarities” is inevitable.

  3. TomS aks

    Do you think that some intelligent designers had some common purpose in mind, some common materials, and some common methods to generate that common design?

    And yea verily is it written in the Book of Luskin (1:18):

    And on the Third Day, there was a special ‘3 primate skulls for the price of 2’ promotional discount at Bone Depot, and the Intelligent Designer saw that is was good, saying, “More saving, more Oogiti-Boogiting!”

  4. oops again: the Intelligent Designer saw that it was good.

    Should I point out the ‘scull’ for ‘skull’ in the main article?

  5. I’ll concede an Intelligent Designer for the nervous system when someone points out an off button for my tinnitus. As it stands, I’m not as impressed as the author is…

  6. Albanaeon pledges

    I’ll concede an Intelligent Designer for the nervous system when someone points out an off button for my tinnitus.

    As a fellow sufferer of the condition, I will join you in that pledge. Hell, even finding a volume control might send me on a pilgrimmage of thanksgiving to the Shrine of St. Eustace…

  7. Bob Carroll

    And the even more delicate male sex organ is protected by um, let me think…

  8. Great Claw asks: “Should I point out the ’scull’ for ’skull’ in the main article?”

    Aaaarrrggghhhh! It looked odd, but the spell-checker didn’t flag it. All fixed now.

  9. Some pattern of similarities is inevitable if there is common descent with modification.

    Or if the intelligent designers had some reason for similar design.

    In the second case, should we be telling our kids that they were purposefully designed to be monkeys?

    Even if we can’t discern the ways of the intelligent designers: they may have had some reason for tinnitus, just as car designers once had a reason for tail fins. We look like monkeys either because we are related to them (which has no more moral consequences than the fact that we are related to Torquemada means that we should behave like him); or because we are designed to be like monkeys (and if you believe that morality only comes from our designers, then we ought to behave like monkeys).

  10. The Curmudgeon concedes, re: ‘scull’ for ‘skull’:

    Aaaarrrggghhhh! It looked odd

    It wouldn’t have looked odd had the Intelligent Designer, in His/Her/Its Infinite Wisdom, had given us oars for limbs…

  11. Bob Carroll ponders

    And the even more delicate male sex organ is protected by um, let me think…

    The answer you are seeking is koteka

  12. Great Claw says: “The answer you are seeking is koteka”

    Fascinating. The Wikipedia article informs us:

    [Quoting:] In 1971-1972 the government launched “Operasi Koteka” (“Operation Penis Gourd”) which consisted primarily of trying to encourage the people to wear shorts and shirts because such clothes were considered more “modern.” But the people did not have changes of clothing, did not have soap, and were unfamiliar with the care of such clothes so the unwashed clothing caused skin diseases. There were also reports of men wearing the shorts as hats and the women using the dresses as carrying bags.[citation needed]

    [Still quoting:] Eventually the Indonesian government’s campaign were abandoned. Nevertheless, western clothing is required in government buildings, and children are required to wear western clothing in school. Kotekas are still considered acceptable attire in church, however.

  13. Tomato Addict

    Well well …

    Kotekas are still considered acceptable attire in church, however.

    … you learn something new every day. I’ll have to get one of these for the next time I put on my “Sunday best”.

    And megalonyx wins the award for Best Derailment of Comments. 🙂

  14. The existence of such conveniently-shaped gourds could be considered additional evidence of intelligent design.

  15. The Curmudgeon has had an epiphany:

    The existence of such conveniently-shaped gourds could be considered additional evidence of intelligent design.

    This is a stunning insight — one which Ray Comfort needs to know, as his ‘intelligently-designed-for-human-consumption banana’ schtick is getting rather stale anymore.

  16. I clicked over there. Here is an add I saw on their page:

    Adam And Eve Adult Catalog
    1000s of Products – Sale! Compare Prices & Save
    [link deleted]

  17. Nothing personal, dNorrisM, but I deleted the link. No need to give an assist to their offerings. If anyone wants to go there, it’s not difficult.

  18. Steve Mirsky noted in Scientific American how the coconut was surely designed by God to be opened with Sears Craftsman tool set. 🙂

  19. what how can you have skipped these beautiful passages in the letter:
    “The basic unit of important life processes occur. The sells are organized into organs…”
    “…previous information you have received previously…” <– there are a lot of phrases like this. Poor guy should have had the editors look over it.
    "I heard a brain surgeon say that when he was operating on a woman that when he stimulated the cortex of her brain with an electrode that it causes her to relive an experience of her childhood." argal the soul has no physical basis?
    "Theses specialized cells are specialized to receive light from the brain." You know that lightbulb that lights up when cartoon characters get an idea? GUYS IT'S REAL.
    "It then carries he carbon dioxide which results from this process back to the lungs where it is exalted."

    I too have skipped some great passages but these are just awesome.

    He also chopped the Buddha out of the "astranaught"'s quote:
    http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/tothemoon/lastman2.html

    😦 😦 😦

    re: kotekas and their shape as evidence of intelligent design:
    Yes, because quoth wiki:
    "Stone weights are tied to the bottom of the gourd to stretch it out as it grows."

    Can god create a stone so big he himself cannot attach it to people and make them grow in funny shapes?

  20. wait what asks: “what how can you have skipped these beautiful passages in the letter:”

    There were too many. I was overwhelmed. Besides, look at the fun you’ve had finding all the goodies I missed.

  21. Is an “astranaught” someone who didn’t go into space?

  22. An astranaught is one who failed to astrally project and had to use base technology.

  23. That Other Mike asks:

    Is an “astranaught” someone who didn’t go into space?

    It’s probably the term that flat-earthers use to refer to fake astronauts who pretend to take pictures of a spherical earth.

  24. Those who don’t convince flat earthers did it all for naught. Hahahahaha…

  25. Bob Carroll

    Koteka! and what do their women use? Gourd only knows!

  26. retiredsciguy

    If an astronaught contacts an astronaut, do they annihilate each other?

  27. From the cited article:

    Have you ever wondered why the most vulnerable organ in the body has the most protections? The most vulnerable organ, the brain is enclosed within a bone enclosure. The next most vulnerable organs — the heart and lungs are enclosed in the rib cage.

    I’ll repeat my comment on John Pieret’s post on this same article concerning that claim. One word: scrotum.

  28. RBH says: “One word: scrotum.”

    Not “plastics”?

  29. Nice to see the allusion picked up! 🙂 (Though it dates us both.)