Creationist Wisdom #140: Darwin the Clown

WE present to you, dear reader, a letter-to-the-editor titled Evolution theory, intelligent design, which appears in the Advocate, the major daily newspaper for Baton Rouge, Louisiana. We’ll copy all of today’s letter, omitting only the writer’s name and city, adding some bold for emphasis and our Curmudgeonly commentary between the paragraphs. Here we go:

The theory of evolution says that everything is winding upward. According to the second law of thermodynamics, everything is winding down.

Stunning! We’re not surprised, as the letter-writer is from Louisiana — the only state so far to have adopted one of those “academic freedom” laws, thus liberating the state’s schools to teach the science of creationism. We expect brilliant letters from Louisiana’s residents, and we’re never disappointed.

Then the letter-writer carefully explains the second law for the benefit his readers:

Think what would happen to your garden if it were left unattended. Weeds would take it over. Our bones and joints develop until we are about 25 years old. Then it is all downhill from there on. Why don’t we hear more about this law?

It could be a Darwinist plot to keep us in ignorance. Or maybe it’s because the letter-writer never had much occasion to deal with it. He’s described as a retired salesman — presumably a street vendor of okra and crawfish — so how often does the second law of thermodynamics come up in such a career?

Anyway, let’s read on:

Now take this clown Charles Darwin. And he is a clown, and we will prove it.

We await the evidence. The letter continues:

First he dropped out of medical school after about two years. Now here is a new word, “clownish.” After he dropped out of medical school, he went around some islands gathering feathers, bones and anything else he could get free. Because of illness, he went back to England and married his cousin. Now this was kinda clownish.

No doubt the letter-writer, drawing on his own family history, is thinking: Why reach out so far in the family tree, when one’s sisters are much more convenient?

But that’s not all. The evidence of Darwin’s clownishness continues:

Not being able to work, he wrote two books: “The Origin of Species” and “The Descent of Man.” Now descent contradicts his theory, and theory is all it will ever be. So let’s get rid of this “clown” forever and ever with all his garbage.

We’ve read a lot of creationist literature, but no one has ever made his case more succinctly. Here’s how the letter ends:

Now I am out of here. Do I believe in intelligent design? You betcha.

[Writer’s name and city can be seen in the original.]

Truly, dear reader, you must admit that this letter is a classic.

Copyright © 2010. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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6 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #140: Darwin the Clown

  1. I’ve taught college biology in this state for 32 years and this is what I have to put up with!! Actually, many of my students are very good students. An occasional student will express his/her creationist view point, but not often. My big problem is that many high schools have weak science courses and that hurts students when they get to college. But now we have a governor, even though he has a degree in biology from Brown University, who effectively wants to dismantle higher education. Not only is he a creationist, he doesn’t really favor higher ed. Decline in state support of the colleges and universities in Louisiana will soon make us private institutions. Right now at my institution, student tuition about equals the state contribution. This doesn’t bode well for LA LA Land. It’s not just California any more.

  2. Biokid: Thank you for your efforts, and I’m sure that many young minds have benefited from your teaching. A good education in biology, math, or many other subjects will get those students a good job. Creationism will allow them to write wacko diatribes to the editorial pages.

  3. POE!!!!

  4. Tundra Boy says: “POE!!!!

    I fear not, but that’s the thing about Poe’s law — it’s impossible to know.

  5. “Biokid // 22-May-2010 at 10:08 am

    I’ve taught college biology in this state for 32 years and this is what I have to put up with!! ”

    Hopefully you tell these morons that their religion is a myth.

  6. The Houston Chronicle article is sad.

    “The greatest educational excitement, I believe, is when (sometimes in high school, often in college, and most deliciously as adults) we experience the joy of finding out how much richer, more layered and more interesting history is than what we learned in elementary school.

    The efforts of the current State Board of Education may well only enhance that pleasure.”

    The argument that school children’s education is enhanced by a poor primary and secondary school experience and we should ignore the textbook curriculum controversy is totally inane. We have very few vocational secondary schools. Instead, most public schools are geared towards college prep. With so much of our school system designed to funnel graduates into the university system, what value is there in having students “unlearn” when they get to college? Basically, Casey wants to teach children things that aren’t true to enhance their joy when they get to college. WTF?