The New Creationist Political Party

The Tea Party is not the only new trend in US politics. There is also the creationist movement. As Supreme Chairman, your humble Curmudgeon has selected an appropriate symbol — that of the Seventh Planet. It comes from this page at NASA’s website. That’s not the astrological symbol, because the creationist movement uses only the latest creation science.

We have candidates running for the governorship of several states. In Alabama, all the candidates are creationists. There’s also Bill Brady in Illinois, and Rick Perry in Texas, and Joan Heffington in Kansas, and Paul LePage in Maine, and John Kasich in Ohio, and they’re all creationists in Tennessee. Addendum: Randy Brogdon in Oklahoma.

As for governors already in office, we’ve got Bobby Jindal in Louisiana and Tim Pawlenty in Minnesota.

Running for a seat in the US Senate there’s Marco Rubio in Florida. And among the potential candidates for President, see: Which 2012 Presidential Challengers Are Creationists?

There are other creationists already in place, of course, and there are more candidates whose creationist views have not yet been declared. At this time we’re not even bothering to list state legislators or state and local school board members.

Things like this don’t happen at random. It’s obviously an intelligently-designed movement. Does it have a name? Yes — appropriately, we’re calling it the Big Movement! Your Curmudgeon is honored to serve as Supreme Chairman.

When we have achieved total power, the only science we’ll permit is creation science. It’s The Truth, and that’s all we need — it will take us to the stars. Our motto: “Today the classroom, tomorrow Uranus!”

Yes, the Big Movement is happening — right now!

Copyright © 2010. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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6 responses to “The New Creationist Political Party

  1. SC, I have felt a big movement like this welling-up for some time now. We appreciate your efforts pushing hard to get this big movement going. However, in the end, the movement could all just get flushed, you know.

  2. Carson says:

    However, in the end, the movement could all just get flushed, you know.

    The wonderful thing is that the Big Movement is never-ending. And it keeps getting better.

  3. Curmudgeon: “That’s not the astrological symbol, because the creationist movement uses only the latest creation science.”

    You’re forgetting the “pseudoscience code of silence.” Creationism and astrology dare not criticize each other, just like YEC and OEC dare not criticize each other (not often at least). So an astrological symbol for creationism would be more appropriate.

    On a related note, I first noticed the inimitable Ben “Expelled” Stein as the nerdy science teacher in “The Wonder Years” who kept saying “Uraaaanus.”

  4. Frank J says:

    So an astrological symbol for creationism would be more appropriate.

    Those who prefer the traditional symbol are welcome. The Big Movement is a big tent.

  5. Alabama’s democratic candidate for governor, Ron Sparks, is not a creationist. Unless you mean that only Republican candidates have a chance of winning.

  6. Does the phrase “you are what you eat” have any meaning here. 40 million flys can’t be wrong.