Although this has all the qualities we associate with creationist letters, it may have been written by a regular columnist for the paper. The same author wrote this little wonder a few months ago: Noah was real; we all are his descendants.
Just in case this isn’t a letter-to-the-editor, we won’t copy most of it as we would ordinarily do. Instead, to respect the newspaper’s property rights, we’ll give you only a few excerpts, with bold added by us. Here we go:
If the creation story is not literally true, and God used evolution to make humans, then death was present on this planet for a long time apart from sin, and Jesus therefore died in vain. If the creation story is not literally true, then who was Jesus talking about in Matthew 23:35 when He refers to the blood of Abel (Adam’s son) as being the first righteous blood shed upon the earth? Did Jesus lie?
A profound question. Let’s read on:
If the creation story is not literally true, then God lied right there in the middle of the 10 commandments. Look at Exodus 20:11. God reminds us in this fourth commandment that He made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in six days.
We’ve never seen that argument made before, so we had to look it up to be certain. He’s right! In the King James version, Exodus 20:11 says:
For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
It couldn’t be clearer than that! Here’s more:
I believe the most persistent lie on the planet was written down by Darwin, but it was authored by Satan. … And may God forgive any adult that teaches such nonsense to a child.
The author of this letter (or column, or whatever it is) may seem to be a bit judgmental, but can you blame him? He knows The Truth™.
Here’s how it ends:
Believe God and believe His word in the Bible. Stop teaching children the lie known as evolution.
Your Curmudgeon is adding Morganton, North Carolina to the growing list of towns we will never visit.
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