Lucifer Laughs in Louisiana

At the end of yesterday’s post, Louisiana Creationism Committee Meets Today, in which we had confidently predicted a victory for the forces of creationism, we were compelled to add a “Surprise Update” announcing that the advisory committee had recommended biology textbooks that — gasp! — teach evolution.

After a sleepless night, we awoke with the hope that it had only been a dream. But our news sweeps confirmed the tragic news of a Darwinian coup. For example:

In the Lafayette Daily Advertiser we find this story, La. panel recommends new biology textbooks, which says:

A state panel recommended Friday that Louisiana’s top education board adopt a new batch of high school biology textbooks, despite complaints that evolution is taught too matter-of-factly in the books.

Stunned, we turned to the New Orleans Times-Picayune and found this: New high school biology books recommended by state, in which we learned:

An advisory council, made up of educators and lawmakers, voted 8-4 to recommend that the new life science textbooks be approved for use in high school classrooms. The state Board of Elementary and Secondary Education [BESE] will make a final decision on the books next month.


Both lawmakers, Sen. Ben Nevers, D-Bogalusa, and Rep. Frank Hoffmann, R-West Monroe, voted against recommending the textbooks. Nevers raised concerns about the costs of the textbooks and the length of the seven-year contracts with textbook companies.

Ah, good ol’ Ben Nevers — claiming he’s concerned about costs. We can always count on him to be a straight-shooter. But BESE won’t be making any final decisions right away, so it’s not a done deal yet.

In spite of those news stories, your Curmudgeon still wasn’t convinced. To get the ultimate word on this matter, we clicked over to Barbara Forrest’s website where we found the final confirmation: Hell just froze over in Louisiana. Barbara says:

[S]omething happened today in Louisiana that is is about as common here as snowflakes at Christmas: the voice of reason prevailed at a meeting of public officials.

What do we make of it all? Unless BESE ignores this committee’s advice and rejects the “Darwinist” texts, the innocent children of Louisiana will be exposed to the horrors of godless eeeee-vooooh-luuuuu-shun. You know what that means, don’t you?

Oh yes, as we’ve learned from creationist websites, Darwinism leads to Hitler and communism and Stalin and the Columbine shootings and Charles Manson and all the other horrors of the modern world. There will be teen pregnancy, sidewalk sodomy, and maybe even worse.

No wonder the devil is laughing.

Update: See Louisiana Evolution Book Decision on 7-9 December.

Copyright © 2010. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Lucifer Laughs in Louisiana

  1. I expect the BESE will receive a great deal of pressure from the creationist lobby over the next few weeks. Are they empowered to override the recommendation of the advisory panel?

  2. Ten quatloos on sustained decision. I know, recless gamble.

  3. Doc Bill says: “Ten quatloos on sustained decision.”

    No one has such wealth. You must be getting all those quatloos from the devil himself. In answer to someone’s earlier question, the last exchange rate figures I saw were: 1 quatloo = 69 billion dollars.

  4. Sidewalk sodomy? Sign me up!

  5. Having lived in Texas most of my professional life, I can say with confidence, backed up by my .00031459 quatloo bet, that the BESE will overturn the recommendation, if they have the authority.

    The State of Louisiana cannot allow their schoolchildren to receive a decent education! I’m sure the state charter forbids it!

    Rest easy, Curmy. The Jebus fearing yahoos of the Louisiana BESE are working tirelessly to maintain the standards which keep Louisiana as close as possible to the bottom of the heap. They know, as we do, that an educated population is a dangerous one. Praise Jebus!

  6. I’m not sure how much higher teen pregnancy could get in Louisiana unless the teen boys start getting pregnant too.

  7. SY says: “Sidewalk sodomy? Sign me up!”

    Okay, but which list? Daytime, nighttime, or both?

  8. I thought the list bifurcated in a different way.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  9. Ah, Ben Nevers, proof that creationists don’t just infest the GOP.

  10. OgreMkV does bring up a good point. Isn’t Louisiana the highest state of all in teen pregnancy? Didn’t they even have that hilariously sad and pathetic “Don’t touch my no-no box” fiasco thing?

  11. I bet one quatloo and one of my “Bubba don’t evolve!” T shirts on this getting overturned, possibly by goober order of The Exorcist himself.

    I will throw in my 12′ Extended Bubba Aint No Munkee Boy Louisiana Mix copy of Duelling Banjos.

  12. James F says:

    Ah, Ben Nevers, proof that creationists don’t just infest the GOP.

    He’s one of my favorite Democrats.

  13. Luckily we won and there were no supplementary materials. The room was filled with scientists, students, and teachers, and they did an outstanding job. If any of you live in Louisiana, there is a Dec. 9 meeting where the real creationist (BESE) board is meeting, and we need all the support we can get.

  14. All I can say is, thank Goodness for people like Prof B. Forrest.
    I don’t know what some louisiana natives like myself would do without her voice of reason.

  15. Isn’t Louisiana the highest state of all in teen pregnancy? Didn’t they even have that hilariously sad and pathetic “Don’t touch my no-no box” fiasco thing?

    Ironically, Louisiana doesn’t even make the top five highest teen pregnancy rates in the U.S.A. They’re around #7. Texas, the state desperately trying to make all the textbooks in the U.S.A. anti-evolution, is #3.

    As for “Stop, don’t touch me there! You know this is my no-no square!”, the state behind that pathetic attempt at reducing teen pregnancy without doing anything that would really work (such as condom education) was Mississippi, #1 on the list with the highest teen pregnancy rate in the whole U.S.A.