The Creationists’ War on Kitzmas

As you all know, we are entering the Kitzmas season — that glorious time of year when we celebrate the decision on 20 December 2005 by Judge John E. Jones III in the case of Kitzmiller v. Dover Area School District.

But not everyone understands and appreciates the meaning of that decision — a triumph of law and science over theocracy and ignorance. There are twisted souls who literally hate Kitzmas and everything it represents.

Typical of those are the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids, a/k/a the cdesign proponentsists).

Those people are a genuine threat — far greater than the occasional chain store that innocently advertises a “Holiday Sale,” about which fools rage on television, getting purple-faced and almost stroking out, claiming that such commercial irreverence is part of a blasphemous war on Christmas. That “war” is phony, but the war of which we speak today is a serious assault on Western Civilization.

Each year at this time, as they have done since 2005, the Discoveroids post blog articles savagely attacking Judge Jones, his splendid decision, Darwin’s theory of evolution, and the entire scientific enterprise. They seem to despise reason itself, upon which our civilization depends.

For example, in December of 2008 we posted Three Years Since Dover — Merry Kitzmas! In that post we discussed several claims made by Discoveroid “Senior Fellow” John West, Associate Director of their creationist “think tank.” His rant included these clunkers, which we debunked in our post:

Judge Jones’ supposedly devastating critique of intelligent design turned out to be cut and pasted (factual errors and all) from a document written by lawyers working with the ACLU.


Law professors (including some who oppose intelligent design) have skewered Jones’ embarrassing judicial opinion as poorly argued and unpersuasive.


And many of the alleged factual claims on which Judge Jones based his opinion have been refuted.


In the meantime, public interest in intelligent design has continued to grow, as has support for academic freedom to question Darwinism (no doubt encouraged by this year’s theatrical documentary Expelled).

Two days later West posted again, bitterly complaining about the favorable publicity Judge Jones was receiving. See Deep in Denial Over Dover.

Not long after, the Discoveroids exhibited further bitterness over the excellent PBS documentary about the Kitzmiller trial in Dover: Judgment Day: Intelligent Design on Trial. Naturally, we posted about the Discoveroids’ discomfort. See Masters of Denial.

In 2009 the Discoveroids started their war on Kitzmas early. In November we posted Dover Derangement Syndrome, about a blog article in which Casey Luskin complained (as he often does) about the testimony of Kenneth Miller and some other witnesses in the Kitzmiller trial. On Kitzmas day itself — the very day! — they posted another rant against the Kitzmiller decision, and we responded with How They Spent Kitzmas.

They’ve posted other criticisms of the Kitzmiller case over the years, but they really unleash themselves during this special season, when they know that rational, science-literate people are celebrating reason’s victory in Dover.

So brace yourself, gentle reader. During this year’s Kitzmas season, the Discoveroids’ war on reason is likely to get ugly again. But don’t let it depress your festive spirit. Instead, let us raise our glasses and sing:

Roll me ooooo-ver,
In the Doooo-ver …

Merry Kitzmas, to one and all!

Copyright © 2010. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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3 responses to “The Creationists’ War on Kitzmas

  1. December 20, 1978 is the day I started playing guitar. Since then I have played guitar nearly every day including tens of thousands of miles playing guitar while riding a ten-speed bicycle “no hands.”

    With the landmark 2005 decision of Judge Jones on the side of truth and sanity, I have a double reason to celebrate this date every year now.

  2. It would be more impressive if, at the same time, you also played the harmonica.

  3. Some years ago a guy named Anzofate said the following (and later gave me permission to quote it):

    Well, I don’t know.
    Two wheels? Single guitar? It’s got no pizzazz.
    How about dropping a wheel. A unicycle. I like it.
    And lose the guitar. Get something big and flashy
    like, say, a tuba.
    Yes, a tuba on a unicycle, now we’re in the ballpark.
    Add a monkey on your back playing the glockenspiel,
    and a midget with an alphorn.
    You could pull him on a dolly.
    Drop the rock-n-roll. Classic religious speed metal!
    Of course you’ll have to learn to yodel.
    Practice twenty more years then give me a call!