Ken Ham Gets a Few Dollars More

We know you remember this post: Ken Ham Gets a Quick $1K. That was about how Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the creationist Australian entrepreneur who brought you Answers in Genesis (AIG) and the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum, scored a fast $1K from a 13-year-old named Caleb.

That money was what the kid had earned by mowing lawns. He sent it to Hambo in exchange for a lifetime pass to the Creation Museum — and Hambo bragged about it!

Well, ol’ Hambo is still doing what he does best — collecting money from the flock. But this time it’s not the Creation Museum. The easy money he’s talking about now is for his proposed Noah’s Ark theme park named Ark Encounter, to be built by a corporate partnership including Hambo’s creationist empire.

Today at his own blog at the AIG website, Hambo writes: Using Snow and a Peg To Make a Difference. Here are some excerpts, with bold added by us:

I received a note from a 16-year-old boy named Joshua, who sponsored a peg for the Ark Encounter project.

According to the Ark Park’s website, they say you can “Partner with us in this amazing outreach by sponsoring a peg, plank, or beam that will be used to build the Ark!” A “peg” costs $100, a “plank” costs $1,000, and a whole “beam” costs $5,000. So this kid sent Hambo $100 for a peg. Let’s read on:

He really wanted to sponsor a beam for the full-size Noah’s Ark to be built in Northern Kentucky, but this teen could not afford to do that.

Darn! Just one little peg — a measly 100 bucks — from a 16-year-old kid. Hambo remembers that Caleb, the 13-year-old, was good for a thousand. But Hambo is a resourceful man; perhaps he can turn this Joshua situation to his advantage. We continue:

So, he was hoping that the snow sculpture of the Ark on a mountain (remember, Noah’s Ark rested on the mountains of Ararat) would perhaps inspire many others to consider how they might help promote and spread the word about the Ark Encounter in creative ways.

Snow sculpture? What’s that all about? Oh, Hambo’s post includes a couple of small photos of what looks like a fallen-down snowman or something. Presumably that’s the kid’s sculpture of the Ark. Here’s more:

His father wrote to us and said that Joshua was “hoping the snow pics would move Mr. Ham to send young Joshua an Ark model replica, hand signed by Mr. Ham himself.

Wow — something like that would surely become an heirloom to be treasured through the generations. Moving along:

Well Joshua, just keep a watch in the mail, you never know! I trust even this blog post will inspire people to get involved with the Ark Encounter project, and to come up with creative ways (as Joshua has done) to inspire others to spread the word!

That’s about it, dear reader. Hambo has collected a quick $100 from Joshua, and the kid has sent Hambo pics of his snow sculpture. Now Hambo is using those pics to generate even more contributions. Good deal!

Hey, maybe the Curmudgeon can get in on this. One of our splendid dogs has just produced an outdoor sculpture, so to speak, and if we look at it from the right angle — yes, it definitely looks like the Ark!

Hey Hambo, all you have to do is send the Curmudgeon the price of a beam and we’ll send you a pic of our dog’s Ark sculpture. If you can use Joshua’s pile of snow, you can certainly make use of what we’ve got. With your fund-raising skills, your modest investment in our sculpture should be repaid many times over.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Ken Ham Gets a Few Dollars More

  1. You have to understand, though, that God evidently has no interest in enriching Ham. Yet somehow it is cosmically important that Ham do well. It’s in the Bible or something.

    So it’s up to the not very well-off to enrich Ham. It’s what God would do–if he cared about Ken Ham.

  2. Ham is really going to build his ark with pegs, planks, and beams? What a crock. How is he going to get around the building codes for that?

    Each person is supposed to get a map to where their peg is…what do you want to bet that a small number of pegs in some structurally unimportant display wall will be mapped to all the donors.

    I am also looking forward to seeing how he designs the gigantic wooden rudder and teller. I don’t know how muscular Noah or his sons are imagined to be, but steering a craft that large and heavy with no mechanical or power assistance would be a challenge, to say the least. Maybe Ham will illustrate it with a pair of heavy dinosaurs harnessed to the tiller ….

    Also, what is he going to do if the ark project falls through? Return the donations? Send everyone a wooden peg?

  3. Did the ark have a rudder? I wouldn’t have thought this necessary. With the whole planet flooded, there would be no obstacles to steer around.

    I agree about the wooden pegs… surely they will be strictly ornamental.

  4. Benjamin Franklin

    As far as I know the wizards at AIG construe the ark as more of a floating barge, as opposed to a boat. The probalbly do not have plans for a keel or a rudder.

    I also imagine that for aesthetic purposes only, they will not cover the inside and outside of the “vessel” with pitch (any of various dark, tenacious, and viscous substances for caulking and paving, consisting of the residue of the distillation of coal tar or wood tar. )

    Instead, I imagine it will be presented as a pretty, highly polished natural wood finish (light wood, of course – we are talking confederate country, you know!).

  5. Ham gloats over the cash he easily gets promoting his stupid lies while I’m having a very hard time trying to earn money to buy a Venus Classic Grand Concert Harp to play in an honest way. That ain’t right.

  6. (light wood, of course – we are talking confederate country, you know!)..

    Umm, NO.

    I don’t know what state you’re from, but I’ll bet you that any state of the Old South has more black elected officials than yours, unless you’re from one of them.

  7. Rather than buld their ark in northern Kentucky, I would suggest locating it near the Federal Express hub in Memphis, TN. That way it might be feasible to gather up zebras from Africa, kangaroos from Australia, Siberian tigers from Asia, etc. Which reminds me: since Noah’s ark was built long before Federal Express, just how was he able, in a short time, to gather up zebras from Africa, kangaroos from Australia, Siberian tigers from Asia, etc.? And did FedEx have a hub on Mt. Ararat so he could arrange to send the critters back home from there? A three-toed sloth would have a hard time getting from a mountain in the middle east to its home in South America on its own. Just sayin’ …

  8. I propose a SC field trip to the Cretard Museum and fill the guided tours with snickering

  9. satchmodog says: “I propose a SC field trip to the Cretard Museum”

    No thanks, but y’all can kick in and maybe raise enough to buy me a peg for the Ark. I’d be so proud!

  10. Gabriel Hanna

    @Realistic1948:

    Clearly creationism should combine with expanding-Earth geology.

    http://catalogue.nla.gov.au/Record/558291

    This would allow Noah to capture all his animals in a short time, as well as producing a moronic suck convergence powerful enough to wipe the brains of all rational people everywhere.

  11. Paraphrasing you «Wow — something like that would surely become an heirloom to be treasured through the generations.»… if Ken Ham become (in)famous enough, it might be valuable, like Hitler or Mao or Stalin memorabilia is. Let’s just hope not, and let the kids grow a brain.

  12. @Ed

    I saw once a documentary, those made up stuff in the History (now Pseudoscience) Channel, that has some math guy saying that the if the Ark existed, it could float. Many websites, from BadAstromer to PZMyer’s blog have said it was impossible and I know a mechanical engineer that told me that it was impossible for such a vessel to float. But people are gullible and once you tell them it’s based on «science» or «math» they believe it like it’s the gospel… although who’s telling it might not have any formation whatsoever in the field… like the number of scientists that don’t believe evolution happened (and is happening as I write this), but many of them are not biologists… it’s the creationists’s version of the Steve project, I’m pretty sure their project started first I just don’t remember the name…