Creationist Wisdom #177: Murphology

W. Edward Murphy

This is your lucky day, dear reader. For the fourth time we’re visiting the Alvin Sun-Advertiser of Alvin, Texas to discuss another thought-provoking article by that legendary Texas intellect, W. Edward Murphy.

Our last post about Murph was Choose: Jesus the Scientist or Darwin the Fool. And we remind you that it was during an earlier visit with Murph, Traditional Americans, Texas Style, that we first tested our top secret InterStall™ bathroom listening device.

Without further delay, let’s give you some excerpts from Views From The Right: Murphology. You read that correctly — Murphology. We’re going to learn about the personal philosophy and science of the greatest sage in Texas. Your life may never be the same. Here we go, with bold font added by us:

The title was going to be “The Absurdity of Darwinism”, but it wouldn’t have been sufficient. It seemed better to posit Darwin’s theory, his concept of the origin of man, with my belief in God’s version of what really happened.

“Posit”? Okay, let’s read on:

[It is] my opinion (Murphology) that, the instant in eternity that God decided to create man, He knew man would fall from Grace, the state in which he was created, and would require a Redeemer to rescue him from perdition. He knew man could not redeem himself.

God created man about 6,000 years ago; many like to scoff at the idea that Adam was a real man, but there are genealogies that attest to his existence.

We’ll skip that part and continue:

Imagine! Me, a transplanted Yankee (55 years ago), a plain old Christian Conservative, with the temerity to label Darwinism absurd! And doing so in the face of the wide acceptance by Academia (it’s so entrenched in the minds of the Texas Board of Education that they’ll permit NO other possible reason for the existence of man, certainly not the absurdity of Intelligent Design or an Intelligent Designer!); and also by scientists, many who refuse to acknowledge that the discovery of DNA by microbiologists blows Darwin’s “simple cell” theory to smithereens (fragments, bits).

DNA disproves Darwin! Here’s more:

Darwin makes no sense to me for a couple of reasons: He theorized that all life proceeded from a simple call, in a primordial ooze, stimulated by some form of energy. It bothers me that it didn’t bother Darwin to wonder where the ooze and energy came from.

Yeah — Darwin really blew it by failing to explain the ooze. Here’s Murph’s second reason why Darwin makes no sense:

The fact that there’s not ONE transitional fossil (one species evolving into another) of the Billions that should exist, doesn’t seem to bother Darwin’s supporters like it bothers me.

No transitionals. Not even one! This Murphology stuff is great! Oh wait — now he’s giving us the third of his “couple of reasons” why Darwin makes no sense:

The fact that there are no reasons given by Darwin for man’s existence, for the existence of good and evil, or for the conduct of his “evolved” humans, creates, I perceive, a greater void than even his ridiculous “simple cell”, the shattered cornerstone of his entire theory.

The “shattered cornerstone” of Darwin’s theory! You gotta love this Murphology! There’s other good stuff in Murph’s column, but we’ll give you only one more excerpt:

Another thing that’s troubling, though not, apparently, to Darwin’s supporters in the United States, is the universal acceptance of Darwinism by every vicious tyrant (even Muslim tyrants) of our day. Though not every Darwinist is a tyrant, it should bother the Darwinist, I believe, that all great evil-doers base their philosophy of life on Charles Darwin’s absurd theory.

Every tyrant is a Darwinist! Who knew? Hey — besides that, they all use electricity and believe in gravity. There is much to think about here. Texas should be proud of Murph. Very proud.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #177: Murphology

  1. “[It is] my opinion (Murphology) that, the instant in eternity that God decided to create man, He knew man would fall from Grace”

    Sounds to me more like poor quality control. Should have recalled the whole lot if you ask me!

  2. Sounds to me more like poor quality control. Should have recalled the whole lot if you ask me!

    Even a stupid human designer knows you test before going to production. Even the ones that graduate from GA Tech know that.

    And don’t we employ designers to make things simpler not more complex?

  3. Erik John Bertel says: “Sounds to me more like poor quality control.”

    If he knew up front that we’d need saving, and he planned to provide for that, it seems he might have skipped that whole messy business of the Flood. What did that accomplish?

  4. To quote the great Murphy: Hey, you kids, get off my lawn!

  5. The Curmudgeon says: “…it seems he might have skipped that whole messy business of the Flood. What did that accomplish?”

    It gave us polystrate fossils, which are proof of the flood! PROOF!

    Think, McFly, think!

  6. Shoot, fellers, Murph goes off his meds and gets a bit rambunctious now and agin. Don’t take it too seriously. He’s just upset at that wildly liberal, Darwinist, Texas State Board of Education. “(it’s so entrenched in the minds of the Texas Board of Education that they’ll permit NO other possible reason for the existence of man, certainly not the absurdity of Intelligent Design or an Intelligent Designer!)” Can you blame him?

  7. WOW. Murphology=stupidity. He’s obviously never read anything that Darwin wrote and has a *very* poor understanding of the Theory of Evolution if he thinks some “evidence” from a single dark ages manuscript or its blind, dogmatic followers can somehow “shatter the cornerstone” of Evolution so easily. Also, I challenge him to look deep into the heart of any/every prison here in the US and evaluate what religion the majority of the “evil doers” there-in ascribe to: most of them are CHRISTIANS. I argue that if more people in prison had a better understanding of Darwin (ie were actually EDUCATED) they probably wouldn’t be in prison to begin with.

  8. Hey Curmy, can we nominate people for Buffoon Awards? If so, I’d like to nominate Murphy, he’s a GREAT candidate!

  9. SciTech, I think The Murph is a bit too common and pedestrian to warrant the illustrious Buffoon award.

  10. I second SciTech’s nomination.

  11. SciTech says: “I’d like to nominate Murphy, he’s a GREAT candidate!”

    I save the Buffoon Award for people of some significance — politicians, news organs, etc. Murph has no significance beyond his zip code.

  12. I plead with His Curmudgeonlyness to consider a humble petition from a mere reader. Perhaps the “Buffoon” award, as you imply, confers too much prestige upon a mere home-grown clown like Mister Murphy, but he is representative of a class of ignorant small-town rag-newspaper letter writers.
    I propose that Your Curmudgeonlyness commission the minting of a new award, subordinate to the “Buffoon” award, but nonetheless conferring some deserved recognition to its recipient.
    I further propose that this award be called . . . . .”The Murphy”.

    Of course, having submitted this proposal, I will cheerfully bow to and accept Your Curmudgeonly wisdom as to its merit or complete lack thereof.

  13. waldteufel says:

    I propose that Your Curmudgeonlyness commission the minting of a new award, subordinate to the “Buffoon” award, but nonetheless conferring some deserved recognition to its recipient.

    Because of my omni-compassionate nature, I understand your request. Nevertheless, at this time it cannot be granted. It would be unseemly to dilute the award process by a proliferation of minor tokens. This isn’t the Boy Scouts.

    For now, I feel that it’s sufficient recognition that we’ve publicized four of his columns, giving him a wider audience than he would otherwise enjoy from being published in Alvin, Texas. You, however, may follow through by commenting in the future that other letter-writers are “Murphyesque,” or “Murph-like.” That may give him sufficient recognition.

  14. Ah, I guess I see your point, SC. You’d have to give out like 10 murphy awards a day, minimum!

  15. SciTech says:

    You’d have to give out like 10 murphy awards a day, minimum!

    One thing is under active consideration. As you know, Curmudgeon University has heretofore only offered doctorates. Now we’re thinking of adding a simple bachelor’s degree to our mail-order product line. It would be called Bachelor of Murphology — or “BM.”

  16. “It would be called Bachelor of Murphology – or “BM.”
    Very good!

  17. BM–I love it! But isn’t a bachelor’s degree too prestigous for people like Murphy? How about a bastinado degree instead? Bastard, barrage, barbaric…?

    I still don’t see any comments on that site. I left one and it said it would be reviewed before posting. I hope there will be some educated commentors on there.