Ken Ham Rants Against Reality

This is about Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the creationist Australian entrepreneur who brought you Answers in Genesis (AIG) and the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum. Our guess is that he sees creationist homeschooling as a major source of future customers for his creationist empire.

The last time we wrote about ol’ Hambo and homeschooling was Creationist Homeschooling Is Educational Incest. In his latest blog post Hambo is screaming about what he’s seen at all the homeschool conventions he’s been attending: Teaching the Truth Amidst a Sea of Lies.

Savor that title, dear reader. Hambo’s creationist fantasies are “The Truth,” and books that teach children about the real world are a “Sea of Lies.” In our humble opinion, if Hambo’s piece were accurately titled it would be: “Proselytizing in a Pond of Poop.” Here are some excerpts from Hambo’s tirade, with bold font added by us:

Today I am giving my final presentation (the last of five) for the homeschool conference in Greenville, SC. While at these conferences, we often visit various exhibits to see what is being offered for sale to the homeschoolers. Invariably we find a “sea” of material that presents evolution and millions of years as fact.

Hambo is horrified to discover that homeschoolers are being offered books that teach actual science. Kids who learn from them won’t visit his creationist museum. Let’s read on:

Over the years, I have seen the lie of evolution and millions of years pushed even more by the secular world. It is so sad to see this pagan religion that tries to explain life without God so infiltrating the church. More and more organizations are being formed and more books printed by people — even within the church — to try to get God’s people to reject Genesis as literal history, and thus undermine the authority of God’s Word.

Science is a “pagan religion.” We continue:

No wonder we are losing the next generation from the church.

Indeed. Any sect that insists on young-earth creationism and the historic reality of Noah’s Ark probably doesn’t have much of a future — at least not as a major denomination. Hambo may be living in the Final Days of his dogma’s dominance. Here’s more:

For instance, even at this homeschool convention, there are a number of people (including speakers) that are associated with the extremely liberal Biologos Foundation—an organization that is dedicated to trying to get people in the church to believe evolution and millions of years as fact.

It’s an outrage! One last excerpt:

But at the same time, I praise God for the opportunity, that even in this sea of lies permeating our culture, I am able to teach the truth of God’s Word to many.

Science is a “sea of lies.” We’ve already come up with “pond of poop” to describe Hambo’s creationism. Okay, that’s “sea” and “pond.” Can we think of any similar phrases? Sure we can: lake of lunacy, ocean of ordure, river of refuse, abyss of absurdity. We could go on, but you get the idea.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Ken Ham Rants Against Reality

  1. cnocspeireag

    Bay of bulls**t?

  2. cnocspeireag

    Lochan of lunacy?

  3. “No wonder we are losing the next generation from the church.”

    Thank God!

  4. “No wonder we are losing the next generation from the church.”

    No, Hambo, you’re losing the next generation from the church because the kiddies are learning about the real world, and when they see the childish and particularly insane notions that you and your coterie of intellectual child abusers are pushing, they get away as fast as they can.

  5. “Cove of Confabulation”

  6. Gulf of gobbledygook.

  7. “Isthmus of Insanity”?

  8. “Tarn of ‘Tard”?

  9. Black Hole of Ham.

  10. Estuary of excreta.

  11. retiredsciguy

    River of Drivel.
    Pernicious Puddle o’ Pee.
    Septic Cistern of Stupidity.

  12. Fjord of feculence.

  13. And Fjord of Flatulence.

    I do have to take issue with his usage of the word “pagan.” The early Christians were primarily city dwellers who looked down on the country folk who had yet to discard the old gods. The Latin word “paganus” meant what we mean by “redneck.” But I was of the understanding that those who accept the science of evolution are elites.

  14. The Firth of Fatuity.