Yes, we’re talking about the proud act of dropping trou. Strictly speaking, this shouldn’t be part of The Controversy between evolution and creationism, but somehow the same politicians are involved. Because mooning is a vital concern for the Noah’s Ark crowd, we have to blog about it from time to time.
Our last post on this topic was Florida Creationism, Droopy Drawers, & Bestiality. That was about some legislation proposed by state Senator Gary Siplin. According to Wikipedia, Siplin “is the first convicted felon to serve in the Florida Legislature, and sponsored legislation that would restore voting rights to himself and other convicted felons.” He has also been a dependable ally of our old creationist friend, Buffoon Award Winner — Ronda Storms.
Today’s news about Siplin’s “Droopy Drawers” bill (SB 228: Code of Student Conduct) comes from the St. Augustine Record of St. Augustine, Florida. The article is Pants on the ground hits sour note with Orlando lawmaker. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:
Florida state Sen. Gary Siplin has been trying for years to get kids to pull up their trousers. Now, it looks as if his “baggy pants” bill finally will become law.
Every man should have a purpose in life. Siplin has found his. Let’s read on:
“(The public) is tired of seeing underwear. It’s nasty and dirty,” Siplin said.
Amen, brother! Siplin knows what he’s talking about. We continue:
Siplin’s bill would ban students from wearing clothes that expose underwear or “body parts” on campus during school hours. It flew through the Senate, and a similar bill is making its way through the House.
How proud Siplin must be! The St. Augustine Record says he’s been promoting a bill like this in every legislative session since 2005, but:
Organizations such as the Florida NAACP blasted the bill as discriminatory, saying it targeted largely minority students.
Pause for a moment, dear reader, to let that sink in, but don’t think about it too much. Hey — check out this quote. According to the newspaper, Siplin said:
It must be part of our politics to teach our kids how to get a job. And dressing (appropriately) should be part of that.
Verily, Siplin is a man who understands the fundamental purpose of government.
The article then describes the bill’s provisions for an elaborate scale of punishments, starting with a simple verbal warning for the first offense, and growing increasingly severe with each repeated transgression. That’s great — something’s got to be done about all those serial pants droppers!
But Siplin’s bill still has critics. The newspaper quotes Danielle Prendergast, public policy director with the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida:
The bill would disproportionally affect minorities, particularly black students, Prendergast said. “Look at the pop culture. Who wears the pants low?” she argued.
We’re surprised that no one has blamed this cultural breakdown on Darwin. After all, we weren’t faced with this problem — so to speak — until evolution crept into the schools. As everyone knows, if you teach the kids that they’re descended from monkeys– what else can we expect?
There’s more in the St. Augustine Record — much more. They discuss the origin and history of droopy pants. We’re certain that you’ll click over there to read it all, because this is one of the greatest issues of our generation. Florida’s Gary Siplin is leading the way out of the darkness. Follow him; his bill portends the crack of dawn.
We confess that all of this is a bit bewildering to your Curmudgeon. Until we sort it all out, we shall moon the entire Florida Legislature. And we’ll keep on mooning. As the Second Amendment defenders are fond of saying: “From my cold dead hands …!”
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