The way we see it, if you’re going to be a creationist, you should go all the way. In a world corrupted by Darwinism, you must completely surround yourself with reminders of creationism, so that evil thoughts have no opportunity to influence the purity of your beliefs. Yes, you’re thinking, that’s good advice, but how can one do this?
They make it easy for you at Answers in Genesis (AIG), one of the major sources of young-earth creationist wisdom. AIG is the online ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the creationist Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. He also brought you the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.
The folks at AIG have a gift shop loaded with creationist books, DVDs and trinkets. The last time we told you about one of their wonders, it was the Ten-Foot Wide Creationist Wall Chart. Today, dear reader, we’re informing you about some of their Noah’s Ark goodies.
First, there’s the Noah’s Ark Poster. It’s 12 x 16 inches, and it’s “Just like the popular display in the Creation Museum!” It costs only three bucks, so you can easily afford to get one for every room of your house. Don’t forget to get them for all the bathrooms, because these posters are ideal to gaze upon during those quiet moments of contemplation.
Next on our list of must-have items is the Flood Card Set. It’s 10 sets of 5 cards each. Only five bucks — a real bargain! You should keep them where they’ll be immediately at hand for reference and inspiration, probably on your desk. AIG says:
A series of five captivating, colorful, and informative collector cards giving evidence for the global flood of the Bible and its results. A unique witnessing tool! (50-card set—10 of each design.)
But that’s not all. How about the Noah’s Ark Paper Model. This comes in two sizes, but you’ll want the large one; it’s 32 x 5 x 6 inches. It’ll look great over the fireplace. AIG says:
Based on the new conceptual design of Noah’s Ark by researcher Tim Lovett, this scale model is a great way to bring the Ark to life from the pages of Scripture!
Then, for your kitchen, there’s the Noah’s Ark Magnet. These cost only two bucks, so you can not only have one — or two! — on your refrigerator, but you can give them as gifts to everyone you know. AIG says:
Bring reminders of the inerrancy of the Bible to your kitchen by displaying this beautiful visual account of the Ark. A great conversation starter!
And finally, no collection would be complete without a Noah’s Ark Keychain. This essential item costs only two bucks. We’re told that this is:
A great memento or gift from the Creation Museum. Printed in white text on corner of keychain: “CREATION MUSEUM, Prepare to believe”
So there you are, dear reader. Why do you hesitate? Get them all! Get them now! But it’s probably best if you don’t tell ’em the Curmudgeon sent you.
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