End of the World Countdown: Five Days Left

Your Curmudgeon is committed to staying in his control room to The Very End, in order to keep all of you informed. By now you know what this is all about. If not, see World Ends Next Week. Goodbye Everyone!

Today, dear reader, we bring you news from around the world, showing how the impending End of Days is being treated. In the Vancouver Sun, a major daily newspaper in British Columbia, we read Apocalypse now, or maybe another day. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Given the track record of such things, predictions of the world’s end are best ignored. But still, I think we should we pay attention to Harold Camping, the influential 89-year-old evangelist who says Jesus will return on May 21.

It’s not that Camping is right. Indeed, I will be so bold as to claim that a 2,000-year-old Jew -Jesus or any other -will not descend from the clouds on May 21. But something important probably will happen on May 22.

And what would that be? The article continues:

A demonstration that people strongly committed to the truth of a proposition are capable of dismissing even overwhelming evidence that they are wrong.

The author, Dan Gardner, then gives us a good discussion of the phenomenon known as “cognitive dissonance.” As followers of The Controversy between evolution and creationism, we’re quite familiar with it. Gardner puts it this way:

When two thoughts sit uncomfortably together -“I gave up everything because it’s the end of the world” alongside “the world’s still here” -we seek to reconcile them. By ignoring. By forgetting. By rationalizing. Somehow or other, whatever it takes.

Yes, that’s how it works. This is a good article, so click over to the Vancouver Sun to read it all.

And now we present some excerpts from The end of the world as we know it?, which appears in the Western Mail, a daily tabloid in Cardiff, the capital of Wales. Many people think that Wales already is and always has been at the end of the world, so their view of things should be interesting. This is written by Eryl Jones — who cleryly appeyrs to have a problem spelling his name. Here we go, with bold font added by us:

If you were disappointed that the US’ two-term limit never gave George W Bush enough time to work out how to operate the red button, the slow pace of climate change, or that Hugo Drax’s bid to annihilate earth from Moonraker was foiled by a treasonous giant with metal teeth, it’s not the end of the world. Well, it could be, and it’s nothing to do with the threat of Scottish independence. This week, Saturday to be precise, is predicted to be the date of the second coming.

It seems that the Welsh don’t like George Bush or James Bond or the possibility of an independent Scotland. And as Eryl Jones’ name indicates, they don’t much care for conventional spelling either. Let’s read on:

Of all the things I’ll never get to see, I’ll be most disappointed to miss out on the latest instalment of the make-things-up-about-bin-Laden- now-he’s-dead campaign. Thanks to the super injunction-free Americans we’ve already learned he dyed his beard, imported Pepsi and watched porn; I don’t know where they’d have gone next. Maybe revelations that he liked binge drinking and blew his change on private shows in Abbottabad’s many lap-dancing clubs.

That was amusing, somewhat. We can’t quite figure out Eryl’s opinion of the bin Laden take-down, but his article is nevertheless worth reading. Hey — how often do you get to see what the Welsh think of things?

As for us, we’re getting many requests for our Curmudgeonly counsel about how to prepare for The End on 21 May. We always endeavor to be of service, so here is our advice for the most commonly asked questions:

Dear Curmudgeon: Should I bother paying my bills? Yes, why not? You won’t need any money after 21 May, so you should depart with no loose ends left behind. That also applies to those of you who may be on extension for your income tax. Get it done while there’s still time.

Dear Curmudgeon: Should I arrange to have my dogs boarded? No, they’ll be coming with you. It wouldn’t be heaven without dogs. As for cats, we don’t care what happens to them.

Dear Curmudgeon: What should I wear on the 21st? Your Curmudgeon plans to wear his best. We’d hate to show up at the pearly gates wearing only our underwear and needing a shave.

That’s all for now. We’ll probably have more later in our End of the World Countdown. Stay tuned to this blog.

See also: May 21 End of the World Open Thread.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “End of the World Countdown: Five Days Left

  1. Such “end of the world” and “Jesus returning” dates are from clowns who are ignorant of the scriptures, or are trying to gain attention. This present world will not come to an end until 1,000 years after Jesus returns, which is known as “the rapture”. The rapture date can not be determined yet because the Temple in Israel is not built, and the Anti-Christ has not yet been identified.

    Until those two things occur, pay no attention to such foolishness.

    Herman Cummings
    ephraim7@aol.com

  2. The excerpts didn’t mention this, but one common choice made by these End O’ the World types when the time comes is suicide. I’ll refrain from making a judgement on that choice, other than to offer my own weblog for advertising space–for a substantial fee, naturally.

  3. Gabriel Hanna

    Seventh Day Adventists and Jehovah’s Witnesses have remained faithful even after their predictions of the end of the world failed to come true (JWs maintain that Christ IS reigning, but “invisibly” since 1914). There are other options besides suicide.

  4. Until those two things occur, pay no attention to such foolishness.

    Oh, don’t worry Herman, I won’t pay attention to such foolishness even after those two things occur.

  5. Dr. Cummings, I appreciate those comforting thoughts.

  6. Dear Mr. Cummings,

    You should have stopped after your first sentence.

  7. The Bible is pretty explicit in several places that the Second Coming can’t be foretold. Christ is said to come like a thief in the night, at any moment. Mark 13:42 says: “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in Heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.” (Wait — Jesus doesn’t even know? Aren’t he and the Father supposed to be the same entity? Don’t they talk to each other? This problem may have been noticed in ancient times, as the Gospel of Matthew, thought to be later and based in part on Mark, has a comparable passage at 24:36 — “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.”)