Ken Ham Proves Noah’s Flood

You read our title correctly, dear reader. We’re not fooling. That’s what we found in a new article by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. He runs the online creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG), and he also created the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.

Hambo’s co-author is Terry Mortenson, one of the participants in the Big Creationist Revival in Alabama. Hambo and Mortenson have written Noah’s Flood and Judgment. It’s far from the first AIG article about the Flood, but this one offers rock-solid proof. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Understanding the biblical account of the Flood is crucial to our understanding of the age of the earth. Most of the evidence that secularists use for an old earth (i.e., the fossil record) is in reality evidence of a global Flood that occurred around 4,300 years ago. The Flood would have produced the kind of complex geological record of sedimentary rock layers and fossils that we see all over the earth. They cannot be the evidence of millions of years.

We’ve heard all that before, but where’s the proof? It’s coming. Let’s read on:

In their attempt to compromise millions of years with the Bible, some church leaders claim that the Flood was just a local event and did not lay down most of the fossil record. However, that view will not stand up biblically. In the famous The Genesis Flood book, the authors dealt with this issue five decades ago, giving many biblical reasons that Noah’s Flood was a global event.

Here’s some information about that authoritative book: The Genesis Flood. But we promised you proof. Where is it? Get ready, here it comes:

For instance, consider the covenant of the rainbow. God told Noah that the rainbow was to be a sign there would never again be such a Flood. We’ve seen many local floods since, but never a global one!

Wowie! You gotta admit, dear reader, that’s impressive. A true prophesy! You wanted proof and now you’ve got it.

The rest of the article is a bunch of scripture stuff, followed by warnings about the coming judgment. Visit AIG to read it all if you like. The proof of the Flood is what we found interesting. No more doubts for us!

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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18 responses to “Ken Ham Proves Noah’s Flood

  1. Since no one has seen a global flood since the global flood, it’s proof of the global flood. Only if a global flood had been recorded in history, would we know that no global flood occurred.

    Makes perfect AiG sense.

  2. If I were a Christian, the Noah story is the last thing in the world I’d want to be true. All it really illustrates is that the God of the Bible is a petulant tyrant and genocidal maniac on a global scale. Why is this particular story so beloved amongst bible-thumpers? I’ve never heard of a lamb that worshipped the butcher.

  3. I am a Christian and feel no need to believe a global flood. It’s a story illustrating many things. It’s not a science pamphlet. Ken Hamm couldn’t prove his way out of a paper bag.

  4. How can you argue with logic like that?

    No really. How?

  5. Tundra Boy asks: “How can you argue with logic like that?”

    Let’s see if it has any weaknesses:
    1. Scripture says miraculous global flood happened.
    2. Scripture says miracle-worker promises not to do it again.
    3. It hasn’t happened again.
    4. Therefore …

    I don’t see any weaknesses.

  6. Bob Carroll

    Similarly, the mezuzah on my door is very effective at keeping elephants away…

  7. Bob Carroll says: “very effective at keeping elephants away”

    Creationism is all about an imaginary solution (their designer) who takes care of imaginary problems (the impossibly fine-tuned laws of nature, the impossibility of life, of evolution, etc.)

  8. God told Noah that the rainbow was to be a sign there would never again be such a Flood. We’ve seen many local floods since, but never a global one!

    N….e…e….d…. a….s….p….i….r…..i…n….. STAT!

  9. Ellie> “I am a Christian and feel no need to believe a global flood.”

    Way to go, Ellie. If all the reasonable Christians would start speaking up, Hamm would be out of business.

    Bob Carroll>”Similarly, the mezuzah on my door is very effective at keeping elephants away…”

    Anybody know where I can get a thingie that keeps Creationists away?

  10. Off topic but it looks like suspicions about Louisiana’s HB 580 might be correct:

    http://www.bestofneworleans.com/blogofneworleans/archives/2011/06/13/creationism-vs-evolution

  11. John Pieret says:

    Off topic but it looks like suspicions about Louisiana’s HB 580 might be correct:

    Yup. By the way, I donno why the spam-catcher stopped your comment.

  12. Thanks for rescuing it.

  13. Lewis Thomason

    I stand in awe at his logic,he has the IQ of a tape worm.

  14. If I may continue off-topic, the article about HM 580 states that it “…allows teachers to introduce ‘supplemental’ materials into classroom discussions, basically opening the door for ‘intelligent design’ (read: creationism) to be taught and evolution — a major principle of biology — to be questioned.”

    All I can say is “aaargh!.” Evolution is already questioned, and rightly so. This bill allows it to be misrepresented. And please, if one must equate ID with “creationism” do not let people assume that “creationism” only means an honest belief in a 6-day creation. ID is much worse. The scam artists know better than to allow students to question a 6-day creation (YE or OE version) that they know does not have a shred of evidence, regardless of how “weak” they think – or pretend – that evolution is.

  15. Gary: “N….e…e….d…. a….s….p….i….r…..i…n….. STAT!”

    Relax. Just grab some popcorn instead and enjoy the show. Or participate in it by asking Dembski why he pandered to his other bosses when he knows that there’s no evidence of a global Flood.

  16. For once, I actually went to the AiG article and read it. I’m glad I did, because I never realized where these imbeciles cut their teeth with their quote-mining: The Bible. I realize that the Bible was probably the original quote-mining source, but it still makes me a little sad that the acceptance of such a practice still persists… I’m glad people like Ellie have popped in to comment that biblical literalism isn’t true, so we can only hope that some day hustlers like Ham will have to peddle their messages on the side of the freeway with a cardboard sign.

  17. I admit that I pay more attention to ID whoppers than to YEC ones, but have I missed something in the last few years? Wasn’t “scientific” creationism supposed to independently validate a particular literal interpretation of Genesis (itself a compromise among several mutually contradictory ones, but that’s another story)? If so, then taking any Bible statement as “evidence” is cheating. So much so that even the DI admits it once in a while.

    Has the “scientific” YEC strategy been “evolving” too? Specifically is this appearance of “slouching towards Omphalos” real, or is it just another classic pseudoscience tactic of trying to have everything both was?

  18. Tomato Addict says: “Anybody know where I can get a thingie that keeps Creationists away?”

    Try a rainbow flag sticker on your front door. Works every time.