Creationist Josh Brecheen Prays for Rain

We know you remember Oklahoma state Senator Josh Brecheen, the tractor salesman who became a creationist legislator. When we wrote about him here, Brecheen: Totally Crazed, we ended that post with this exhortation:

People of Oklahoma, listen to your Curmudgeon: State Senator Josh Brecheen is completely insane. We don’t know how you elected him, but it’s not too late to recognize your error.

A day later we posted Josh Brecheen Thinks He’s Nelson Mandela, which concluded with this:

Wake up, Oklahoma — you have a madman in your legislature!

They didn’t listen to us; no one ever does. Fortunately, however, Brecheen’s creationist bill didn’t go anywhere. Nevertheless, the magnitude of his madness seems to have angered the immortal gods who dwell on Mt. Olympus. That would explain why they’re having a drought in Oklahoma.

The drought is serious, and all those affected have our sympathy. That said, we now exercise our Curmudgeonly prerogative to ridicule anyone, anywhere, regardless of circumstances, who displays insanity about anything — and Josh Brecheen is our topic today.

We first learned that things were getting out of hand in Oklahoma when we spotted this: Mary Fallin, you fool! You’ve doomed us all!! It was posted at the blog of our secret desire, Abbie Smith, and thus we discovered that Oklahoma’s Governor was urging everyone to pray for rain

Now we have some background on that, because Brecheen has written another article for the Durant Daily Democrat of Durant, Oklahoma. They titled it: Brecheen says we should pray for rain.

Brecheen’s latest isn’t about creationism, but it’s nevertheless a revealing look into the mind of one who holds that belief. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Last Thursday, Governor Fallin proclaimed this past Sunday, July 17th as a Day of Prayer in Oklahoma for rain.

[…]

Early last week, I worked with legislative colleagues as we petitioned for the Governor to make the day of prayer proclamation. This was already on the Governor’s heart, and I’m so glad she made the proclamation. There is nothing stronger than the power of prayer, and I am thankful for leadership in our state that acknowledges God’s authority.

Aha! The Fallin rain proclamation was instigated by Brecheen! Let’s read on:

As a Christian, I firmly believe in the power of two or more people praying in agreement with an expectant faith, not just hoping something might happen. Faith truly is the evidence in our hearts and minds of things not yet seen.

Yes — parallel processing! That’s the answer! If we combine our prayers into a power grid, as it were, the compounding effect of the accumulated faith of the whole network will get the job done. One more excerpt:

When we pray, may we pray a prayer of repentance that precedes the prayer of blessing. Rain will come to a people who walk humbly and with clean hearts and clean hands before the Lord.

What can we say? Inspired by Brecheen’s flaming flimflammery, your Curmudgeon boldly predicts that rain will come to Oklahoma (but we don’t know when). We also predict that Brecheen will claim credit for it — as charlatans and crackpots always do.

But if Brecheen wants to be credited for bringing on the rain, then why doesn’t he accept responsibility the existing drought? It’s clear to us that the gods are enraged by his creationist lunacy. The drought is Brecheen’s fault!

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Creationist Josh Brecheen Prays for Rain

  1. SC said:

    Yes — parallel processing!

    But that only works if you’re in sync. If you’re out of sync, they may still add, but less so. And if they’re way out of sync, they may cancel out. If you have thousands or millions all praying at once, you’ll probably wind up with a Gaussian curve of prayer “faith” in which one half cancels the other. The average will be zero.

  2. But did he dance? I hear you have to dance for it to rain. 😉

  3. That’s where Perry blew it for Texas. No dance.

  4. Frank J says: “I hear you have to dance for it to rain.”

    Rubbish! Rain-dancing is native American superstition. Father Zeus rules the sky. It is he who wields the thunderbolt. I don’t claim to know how to influence him. I honor all the gods and try to avoid incurring their wrath. Brecheen’s blasphemy has them all stirred up.

  5. SC: Right on and thanks! I have quoted part of the above on the popular Oklahoma Democratic blog (www.demokie.com/forum ) with a link to the above posting.

  6. vhutchison says: “Right on and thanks! I”

    Glad you liked it, Victor. [Ah, I found it here.]

  7. Why doesn’t he just wash his car? That always works for me.

  8. I have washed my car and all the windows are down. It was 109 degrees in my back yard today. It was hotter in the front. My neighbor said it was only 105 in his yard but he’s a good believer. I think it also rained in his yard today and not mine. Well, I not sure what to make of that but I’m sure the heat index is going to be 110 over there. I’m relieved in that cool knowledge. David

  9. It would be nice if someone would arrange an airlift to get all of us rational people out of Oklahoma. About two decent sized airplanes should do it.

  10. aturingtest

    “Faith truly is the evidence in our hearts and minds of things not yet seen.”
    What does that sentence even mean?

  11. aturingtest

    “Last Thursday, Governor Fallin proclaimed this past Sunday, July 17th as a Day of Prayer in Oklahoma for rain.”
    Well, it worked. It’s been pouring rain here in South Mississippi for the last week. Can’t argue with results, can you, you godless, atheist, Darwinist-Hitlerist, etc., etc., scum.
    Oh, wait. The prayer in Oklahoma was for rain IN Oklahoma?
    Sorry ’bout that.

  12. @GaryBut that only works if you’re in sync. If you’re out of sync, they may still add, but less so. And if they’re way out of sync, they may cancel out.

    Don’t cross the streams. Crossing the streams would be bad.