We found a disquieting news item in the Florida Alligator, published at the University of Florida: Vandals target professors’ vehicles. It says, with bold font added by us:
Letters, nails and vehicular sabotage haven’t kept two UF biology professors from expressing their belief in evolution. In a string of events occurring over the past four months, the professors’ cars, which were parked in the Bartram-Carr Hall parking lot, were vandalized.
How very odd. We keep hearing that it’s “Darwinists” who cause all the trouble in the world. Let’s read on:
First, religious letters were left on the cars, and then pro-evolution bumper stickers and Darwin-fish emblems were scraped and torn from the vehicles. Most recently, nails were put into the tires.
Observe, dear reader, that we’re not seeing the sudden appearance of nails in the tires. No, we detect a bit of — ahem! — evolution here. First we see evidence of a primitive ancestral form that was merely passing out religious letters. That harmless creature gradually developed until it was defacing pro-science bumper stickers and Darwin-fish emblems. Now it’s driving nails into the tires.
A clear pattern emerges from the record — this thing is evolving into a dangerous predator — Genesis Rex. The article continues:
“I can’t prove who did it and I don’t want to jump to any conclusions,” [one of the victims, Brian] McNab said. “But I think it’s obvious that it’s someone who has a strong opposition to evolution.”
Yes, rather. To put it more bluntly, it’s the work of a freak who feels compelled to drive nails into tires for Genesis. It won’t stop there. Here’s more:
The other victim, Betty Smocovitis, said in an email she is disappointed at what she called the small-minded nastiness of the individual, and she would continue to replace the Darwin fish on her car.
Okay, that does it — now your Curmudgeon is angry! Betty is a UF professor of history and zoology, and she’s an old friend of this blog. Here’s her faculty website. We wrote about her here: Kirk Cameron: “Out Of His Mind” Says Professor.
This is the conclusion of the article, and it’s not a happy ending:
University Police spokesman Maj. Brad Barber said no reports have been filed for the incidents, but professors have been encouraged to contact UPD if any another incident occurs. The perpetrators are still at large.
Be careful, Betty. Anyone crazed enough to put a nail in your tire is also capable of putting a bullet in your head. We’re serious. Don’t depend on the campus police; that’s a dream, like counting on the UN for world peace.
You have to take care of yourself, Betty. Consider driving a different car to work — and please — there’s no reason to paint a target on your car. It’s a war out there.
Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.