Consider, dear reader, which is more likely to exist: Bigfoot or the Intelligent Designer.
You undoubtedly have heard of Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch. This elusive creature, although widely believed to be a hoax, nevertheless can boast of evidence for his existence — footprints, videos, photographs, and the testimony of eye witnesses. In addition to all that, as an alleged hominid, his existence is biologically possible. So the uncertain case for our shaggy cousin isn’t crazy; it depends on the quality of the evidence.
Now let us consider the Intelligent Designer. The champions of his existence are the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids, a/k/a the cdesign proponentsists).
The Designer is an even more elusive creature than Bigfoot. He has left us no footprints, there is no one who claims to have seen him, and there are certainly no photos of the critter. Added to his impoverished résumé is that fact that he’s usually assumed to be not of this earth, so we have no clues about the biological possibility for his existence.
Indeed, the Designer seems to be solely a conjecture, an all-purpose explanation for whatever phenomenon his advocates feel is beyond their capacity to understand. Or in the case of phenomena that are explained but the Designer’s advocates don’t like the explanation, the Designer is a substitute explanation. That’s the essence of his phantasmal existence. He’s a bit of a proxy — a substitute for an hypothesis when there is no hypothesis.
But even if he’s nowhere to be seen, the Designer is nevertheless very convenient to have around; everything can be blamed on him. Defaulting to the Designer as a cause is ever so much easier than finding the real cause of something. But for all his convenience — which is his only characteristic — the Designer has nothing else that can be said for him. He’s almost certain to be a delusion.
Is there any hope for the Designer? No, not really. Unless he decides to show up and reveal himself, he will forever remain as unreal as the ubiquitous but imaginary Kilroy. Less so, really, because Kilroy was memorialized in uncountable graffiti messages which clearly proclaimed his presence.
But we have a suggestion. Are you paying attention, Discoveroids? Listen to your Curmudgeon, because this is your only chance to achieve even a shadow of credibility. The Designer should be merged with the legend of Bigfoot!
That will give the Designer a much-needed image. He’ll have footprints and a substantial cadre of true believers. No more of this ephemeral flitting around injecting information into DNA when no one is looking. Once the merger is accomplished, the Designer will be a genuine entity. As genuine as possible, anyway.
So give it some thought, Discoveroids. Keep in mind that Bigfoot inhabits the Pacific Northwest, which is where you’re located. This may be the answer to all your problems.
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