This one is possibly the weirdest yet. It’s by David Klinghoffer, who holds the exalted title of “senior fellow” (i.e., flaming, full-blown creationist), bestowed upon him by the neo-theocrats at the Discovery Institute‘s creationist public relations and lobbying operation, the Center for Science and Culture (a/k/a the Discoveroids, a/k/a the cdesign proponentsists).
There’s probably no need to recite Klinghoffer’s creationist oeuvre, which most of you have seen before, but it’s very appropriate to do so now because he — of all people — is accusing evolutionary biologists of being part of a giant conspiracy. Here’s a sampling of his scholarly output, which shows his qualifications for writing today’s Discoveroid article:
Klinghoffer has previously posted a series of essays attempting to link Charles Darwin to: Hitler, and communism, and Stalin, and the Columbine shootings, and Charles Manson, and Holocaust Museum shooter, James von Brunn, and the Ft. Hood Massacre, and Mao Tse-tung, and Dr. Josef Mengele, and the Occult, and The Dark Side of Darwinism, and most recently James Lee, the Discovery Channel Terrorist.
That is the output of the same man who wrote this new Discoveroid post: Darwinism and 9/11 Conspiracy Theories: The Parallels. It’s rather long and chaotic, it mentions names and publications that don’t interest us here, and a lot of it is about the 9/11 Truthers, a pack of kooks about whom we really don’t care.
But in his Discoveroid article, Klinghoffer actually compares “Darwinists” to the “Truthers.” Yes, that’s crazy, but it’s the task the Discoveroids assigned to Klinghoffer, and we’ve never seen him turn down a dirty job before. Okay, you know what’s coming, so let’s get into it. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:
What I found striking about [some articles about Truthers] is the parallels with what we know about the thought and writings of Evolution Truth activists: our ever-loving friends in the Darwin Lobby.
We promise you — this isn’t a spoof of Discoveroid writing. It’s the real thing. After introducing his concept of “striking parallels,” Klinghoffer describes the Truthers’ crazed gyrations in response to a factual article that shredded their beliefs, and he says:
There is a sealed-off quality to 9/11 conspiracy theorizing. The theory generates its own alternative reality, which it needs to do since the experience of living in the real world goes so much against it.
That’s fair commentary — about Truthers. But then Klinghoffer lets his inner creationist leap out:
Darwinists would say the same of us in response, they’d have to, but candidly doesn’t all this remind you of the special mental world of the Darwin advocates? I’m not speaking of the run of regular working scientists in biology and other fields, for the vast majority of whom evolutionary apologetics are a subject of little interest, but rather about those inside and outside the world of science who make it their mission to faithfully guard Darwinian orthodoxy.
We’re not making this up. That’s what the guy wrote, and there’s more:
When he burst on the scene a century and a half ago, … Darwin offered precisely a conspiracy theory: a radical overturning of common sense, in this case the understanding that nature reflects design. That was replaced now with an unseen and unseeable material mechanism that simply and comprehensively explained how everything we thought we knew about life’s development was totally wrong.
Darwin’s theory of natural selection was a “conspiracy theory” about “an unseen and unseeable material mechanism.” How horrible! The Discoveroids’ own theory of an unseen ans unseeable supernatural mechanism is so much better! Oh wait — Darwin’s mechanism isn’t “unseen.” Even creationists acknowledge the effect of mutation and natural selection, at least on a small scale, and they call it “micro” evolution. Their magic Designer — blessed be he! — leaves no visible evidence of his mechanism, which is all the more reason to praise and adore him. Let’s read on:
In the ID community, itself the object of much demonological theorizing by Evolution Truthers, we know better than anyone else the imperviousness of Darwin’s true believers to matters of fact.
Once posited, [Darwinism] tells a story that accommodates any observation. This is the brilliance of paranoia. … Whatever nature brings forth can be squeezed to fit the effectively unfalsifiable Darwinian mold, which always turns out to predict, in retrospect, whatever is found.
That is, quite simply, fantastic — especially compared to the wonders wrought by the magical Designer, who can bring forth literally anything and not astonish his devotees. That’s because their “theory” has no mechanism, and there is no limit to what the Designer might do. But there are indeed observations that could contradict the theory of evolution. One of this blog’s first posts was devoted to evidence that could refute Darwin — Where Are The Anachronistic Fossils? The best example is the elusive Precambrian rabbit.
Here’s one more excerpt from Klinghoffer’s article:
Every time you hear a Darwin activist repeat the formula that “ID is creationism,” that it “denies evolution” or “denies science,” that it is an argument from ignorance or incredulity … you can only throw up your hands and suppose it’s because he’s got a tape running in his head, looping back again and again, that feeds him these lines.
We used to think that Klinghoffer didn’t really believe all that stuff he wrote. We thought he was only playing along because they paid him to do it — but maybe we’ve been wrong. It’s starting to look like he’s serious. We’ll never really know, but whether he believes what he writes or not — he’s precisely where he belongs. We hope he’s happy.
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