Goodbye World! It All Ends Today!

There’s not much to say, dear reader, and not much time in which to say it. This is 21 October, The End of All Things, as foretold in the Good Book.

It’s been fun writing this humble blog, but nothing lasts forever. That applies not only to little things like blogs, but also to the world — and the universe itself.

We made one final search for news about End-Times prophet Harold Camping and his radio empire, Family Radio. We found this at the radio station’s website: SPECIAL MESSAGE 10/20/2011. It’s a very long message. Here’s a small excerpt from what it says, with bold font added by us and scripture passages omitted:

The Bible declares that it was God’s plan to save 200 million people out of all those that would ever live upon the earth. Just prior to May 21 of this year God finished the work of applying the redemption Christ had purchased for His people before the foundation of the world. Just prior to May 21, 2011, the Lord saved all of those whose names were written in the Lamb’s book of life. This act of God in finding all of His lost sheep, and then finally gathering them and leading them safely into the sheepfold of the Good Shepherd was accomplished right before May 21. On May 21 God then shut the door to heaven. Also known as the door to the sheepfold:

It’s too late to repent now. The door to the sheepfold is closed. The message continues:

May 21, 2011 also happened to be the 17th day of the 2nd Hebrew month. And that was the equivalent date to the beginning of the flood of Noah’s day 7000 years earlier:

Your humble Curmudgeon had once calculated that the Flood began on 01 April, but Camping knows best. Let’s read on:

Sadly, as we have earnestly studied the Bible over these five months we have found verse after verse that supports and strengthens the conclusion that the Lord is no longer saving sinners. He has finished that glorious work. Does this mean that we are no longer to pray for people’s salvation? No! It doesn’t mean that at all. Some have misunderstood or mischaracterized the teaching of the Bible at this time to indicate we’re teaching that man should no longer beseech the Lord for mercy. This is not true. God encourages us to cry to Him for mercy.

Yes, but it won’t do you any good. So where does that leave us? What does it matter? Soon we’ll all be nowhere.

For the moment, feel free to express yourselves. This is, perhaps, our final Free-Fire Zone. Say what you will.

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Goodbye World! It All Ends Today!

  1. Tomato Addict

    So long Curmie, it’s been nice!

    Improbably Research (http://www.improbable.com/2011/10/19/lets-go-camping-how-harold-does-his-math/) links a video that explains the finer details of Camping’s numerical methods.
    Direct link: http://youtu.be/SXx2VVSWDMo

    Now if you will excuse me, I must finish go and finish praying for nothing in particular.

  2. Pete Moulton

    “Your humble Curmudgeon has once calculated that the Flood began on 01 April…” Yes, that would be the only appropriate date. Hasta la bye-bye, SC. It’s been fun.

  3. Tomato Addict

    EUREKA!

    I’m going to pray the Harold Camping turns out to be just some crazy old guy with a Bible, a radio show, a calculator, and too much spare time. If this works, everybody can thank me tomorrow.

  4. So what time is this supposed to happen? Or did it already? It’s already 10/22 in some time zones.

  5. Tomato Addict

    The deadline for salvation has past, but you can still join me in my prayer to retroactively make this all turn out to be silliness.

    I find the success rate for prayer to be much greater if I only pray for things that are already certain to happen. This basic technique also serves me well in dog training; When I see the mailman coming up the drive, I tell the dog to bark at him, and she does! I also taught her to chase squirrels.

  6. Tomato Addict says:

    you can still join me in my prayer to retroactively make this all turn out to be silliness.

    Stop your useless squirming and accept your fate. Don’t go out like a crybaby.

  7. I’m confused! Am I in the Lamb’s book of Life or not? Who has access to the book? Is the door really shut or is there a back entrance?

  8. It’s drizzling here in Seattle… but I suspect that the rains won’t stop this time. I’ll know something will be amiss if it keeps raining here. It’s just such atypical weather for this time of year… perhaps it is a second flood.

  9. Erik John Bertel asks: “Is the door really shut or is there a back entrance?”

    This isn’t that kind of blog.

  10. Retired Prof

    Tomato Addict says, “I find the success rate for prayer to be much greater if I only pray for things that are already certain to happen.”

    You remind me of an old story from the Ozarks. A preacher asked the congregation to stand while he led them in a prayer for rain. One old boy walked over to the rack and got his coat and hat. Preacher said, “Brother Wilks, why are you leaving?”

    Wilks said, “Don’t do no good to pray for rain now. Wind’s in the wrong direction.”

    We’ve got a light, pleasant breeze from the west right now. Speaking as a man who has no experience with the end of the universe, I can’t see any portent for cataclysm. The wind’s in the wrong direction.

  11. With each passing hour I’m growing increasingly concerned. I put my faith in Harold Camping, and if the world doesn’t end soon I’m going to feel like a fool.

  12. Tomato Addict

    Curmie> “… and if the world doesn’t end soon I’m going to feel like a fool.”

    I’ll pray that your words may become just a bit of passing irony.

  13. eryops: “It’s drizzling here in Seattle.”
    Lucky bum. You’re near Discoveroid headquarters. Get there quick and you might be saved.

  14. So here we are. I should win a prize for being the only one who predicted it, but as I expected, hell is indistinguishable from the world we just left. Though I’m curious, are the “creationists” virtual ones created by God just to annoy us “heathens”? Or were they sent here too because they constantly bear false witness?

  15. Is the door really shut or is there a back entrance?

    The Curmudgeon: This isn’t that kind of blog.

    The good news is that it’s Saturday, the world is pretty much as I left it on Friday and I got my first adult chuckle of the day. No need for a back entrance!