Florida Creationist Fights “War on Christmas”

The last time we wrote about Florida state Senator Stephen Wise, chairman of the Senate’s Education and Pre K-12 Committee, was to bring you the good news that the old creationist warhorse was On the Way Out because of term limits.

But along with that good news, we warned that:

Meanwhile, Wise still has the 2012 legislative session in which to do what he does best — being stupid. It should be fun.

Well, dear reader, the Senator is doing his best to entertain us. In the Orlando Sentinel we read Florida enters wacky ‘War on Christmas’. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

A new bill from State Sen. Stephen Wise, R-Jacksonville, would force every school district in Florida to rename “Winter Break” as “Christmas break.” Hark the Herald angels! This is the Christmas miracle we’ve been looking for.

The reporter seems to have the right attitude. Let’s read on:

Forget the budget shortfall, unemployment and everything else wrong in Florida. This is the bold action we need from fearless leaders — Senate Bill 1136, “Requiring school districts refer to the period during which school is not in session and which includes Christmas Day as Christmas Break rather than Winter Break.” Joy to the World!

For your — ahem! — holiday thrill, here’s a link to the great man’s bill: SB 1136: School Districts. The Orlando Sentinel gave you only the bill’s introductory language. Here’s the operative text of this legislative masterwork:

Be It Enacted by the Legislature of the State of Florida:

Section 1. Each school district shall refer to the period during which school is not in session and which includes Christmas Day as Christmas Break rather than Winter Break.

Section 2. This act shall take effect July 1, 2012.

If that doesn’t thrill ya, then nothing ever will. We continue with the news article:

Wise’s bill is almost as inspired as last year’s push from Sen. Gary Siplin, D-Orlando, to make “Merry Christmas” the official state greeting on Dec. 25 … another truly needed piece of legislation.

Yeah! We had forgotten about that (see Florida Creationism: It Starts with Christmas). Here’s one more excerpt:

It doesn’t affect me at all if Macy’s decides to have a “holiday sale” instead of a Christmas one. Or if schools hold “winter break.” Why? Because I’m sane. And sane people don’t obsess over such things.

But we’re dealing with creationists here, and when one is a creationist, sanity isn’t a good thing — it’s the enemy. That said, we’re glad that Senator Wise is going to make the most of his final term. We’re gonna miss him.

In closing, we remind you all of The Curmudgeon’s War on Arbor Day — a truly worthy cause.. The War on Christmas is a phoney, feel-good issue for idiots (like certain legislators).

Copyright © 2011. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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2 responses to “Florida Creationist Fights “War on Christmas”

  1. Yet another fundie misses the point: “It’s the economy, stupid.”

  2. I think it’s a good thing. Clearly the Florida legislature has solved all of Florida’s problems and can now turn its attention to whether people are paying attention to Christmas. I think we should all move to such a paradise: no doubt, if they have time to spend on this, all the streets are safe, the air and water are clean, etc.