Ken Ham on the Meaning of His Ark Park

This is about an article by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. He runs the online creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG), one of the major sources of young-earth creationist wisdom. He also created the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.

As you know, ol’ Hambo is also trying to raise funds for his proposed replica of Noah’s Ark — a “full-scale, all-wood ark based on the dimensions provided in the Bible (Genesis 6), using the long cubit.” This bizarre project has its own website: Ark Encounter. We’ve written about it several times, for example: Ken Ham Announces Noah’s Ark Theme Park.

Today, dear reader, ol’ Hambo tells us about the meaning of his audacious project. His article, It’s a Sign!, is more than a blog article — it’s a manifesto.

He begins by describing how Joshua made a monument of twelve stones to commemorate his leading the Children of Israel across the Jordan River. Does that introduction suggest that Hambo sees himself, like Joshua, as a biblical hero and builder of monuments? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us and scripture references omitted:

In God’s Word, we can read of a number of signs (or reminders) that help us never forget the truths of the Bible. For example, the rainbow … was established as a sign that God would never again judge the world with a global Flood.

How does Hambo’s project measure up to that? You’ll see:

When God told Noah to build an Ark, it was meant to be a sign (or reminder) of three major things: That God is Creator, and thus we are accountable to Him. … That God is a God of grace. Noah’s Ark was built as an Ark of salvation. Those who went through the doorway were saved. … God keeps His Word. He established the rainbow as a covenant that He would never again judge the wickedness of man by a global Flood.

Maybe Hambo’s pretensions are greater than merely imitating Joshua. God gives signs. Perhaps Hambo is following that example. Let’s read on:

AiG has stepped out in faith to rebuild Noah’s Ark. It too will be a sign — a reminder that: [the same three things mentioned in the previous excerpt].

Yes — Hambo is imitating God! Ark Park is a divine sign. We continue:

In Noah’s day, the majority of people did not believe God’s warning about a coming Flood. The majority was wrong and was judged accordingly. Today, we live in an age when the majority of scientists mock the idea that there ever was a global Flood. Generations of young people are being indoctrinated to believe that the worldwide fossil graveyard is the record of millions of years of evolution. In reality, though, most of it is the graveyard of the Flood!

Tell it, Hambo! Here’s the thrilling conclusion:

Our world needs a sign that shows millions of souls that God’s Word is true and that He offers a free gift of salvation in Christ. Our sign will be the building of a full-size Noah’s Ark in northern Kentucky. It will serve to engage non-Christians with the truth of God’s Word, and affirm the faith of all who believe that the words of Jesus are true!

Now that you’re all jazzed up with enthusiasm, we’ll reveal something that one of our clandestine operatives recently pointed out to us. At the website for Hambo’s Ark project, there’s this wonderful news: You can buy Charter Lifetime Boarding Passes. But there’s more involved than just a lifetime of admission to the Ark. We are told:

This exclusive program will provide 15 special benefits to the charter boarding pass owners (up to 22 benefits for a limited number that purchase early), including lifetime admission to the Ark Encounter and the Creation Museum.

Only a limited number of charter boarding passes will be available and no lifetime passes will be offered after the Ark Encounter opens. Both individual and family boarding passes are available with the benefits listed below.

We’ll leave it to you to click over there so you can read about those benefits, but we have to tell you the price. An individual pass (non-transferable) costs only $2,000, and only 5,000 of them will be issued. If they’re all sold, that’s $10 million. And you can buy a family pass for only $3,000 (non-transferable, for immediate family members). Only 12,000 of those will be sold — which totals $36 million.

There’s no mention of a refund if the Ark doesn’t get built, but that’s not a consideration. We suggest that you hurry up and order your passes today, before they’re all gone. The supply is limited!

Copyright © 2012. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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6 responses to “Ken Ham on the Meaning of His Ark Park

  1. In Noah’s day, the majority of people did not believe God’s warning about a coming Flood. The majority was wrong and was judged accordingly.

    The bible mentions no warning by God. He told Noah what he was going to do, but there is no mention that he told anyone else. Nor is there any mention in the bible that Noah told his neighbors – the bible simply relates that Noah built an ark per God’s directions and boarded it with his family when the time came. Per the bible, the flood would have taken everyone outside of Noah’s immediate family by complete surprise.

    Ham should read his bible literally, rather than embellish so much. He’s much too liberal in his interpretation.

  2. I think he should follow the example of Noah and only sell 8 life-time boarding passes since Noah only took 8 people with him. Of course at $2000, eight passes sold might be a difficult number to reach. 🙂

  3. Ham should make his pitch to Timmy Tebow. He’d probably spring for family passes for all of his teammates.

  4. Tomato Addict

    It’s a sign alright:

    “Abandon Your Cash, Ye Who Enter Here.”

  5. Ceteris Paribus

    Whoop! Visages of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker’s scam selling 165,000 people a four day stay at their 500 room Heritage USA theme park, and for a mere $1000 a head.

    Ken ham is possibly only guilty of misunderestimating his sales potential by targeting a merey 12,000 family passes for his boat. On the other hand, given the current fascination that the fundagelicals have with the Quiverfull movement, 12,000 family passes may tally up to a whole buttload boatload of 160,000 embarking on the cruise.

  6. Neither the museum nor the proposed park are in Appalachia. Your Ayatollah comment is alliterative but inaccurate.